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Saw a new picture of her and her significant other


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Just a brief bit of backstory:

 

We broke up 6-ish months ago. She cheated on me and I found out shortly after our 4th anniversary. I was devastated, and did what many people did, tried to get her to stay and make it work. It didn't. She left me for the person she cheated on me with. I saw his picture, I knew what he looked like.

 

The day we broke up we went into no-contact, with no intention of ever speaking to one another again. And I haven't. I still have good and bad days, but for the most part I was making great progress and didn't have her on my mind all that much recently, until tonight. I thought I had gone through and deleted all of our things from my Facebook and other sites.

 

Well tonight, one of my cousins thought it would be a good idea to search my FB statuses from over a year ago, and like them. On one of those statuses was her new profile picture. It was ANOTHER new guy. Not the one she cheated on me and left me for. But another new guy. It disgusts me so much...

 

It makes me realize just how lucky I am to be away from a person who not only cheats and lies, but also moves from person to person without much thought or concern. I'm aware of her act of cheating on me with a couple different people over a course of 6 months (threesomes with the guy she initially left me for), but seeing something like that makes me wonder... was she cheating on me from the beginning?

 

At this point, I don't doubt that. It hurts and it disgusts me, yet I find it funny and I'm grateful to be away from her. I honestly don't know why my cousin would intentionally go looking for something like that, buried beneath so many other things, and bring it to my attention. Part of me feels like he did it with the intention to bother me, since everyone knows how betrayed and hurt I was, and still am. Just needed to vent.

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I hear you friend. Like you shortly after my 4yr anniversary my girl left me as well and like yours had a history of cheating in which stupid me tried to forgive and make it work but ultimately it didn't. Your cousin I think has some poor judgement and you need to have a serious talk with him. Outside of that just know you are a good person and that you'll never sink to the level of destroying someone's emotions in that way.

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That's the attitude to have. It's got to be rough knowing what she did when you thought she was so much different. However, you will be so much better off without her. Anger and disgust returning is normal. A new year is approaching and a new beginning for you. Best of luck.

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That's the attitude to have. It's got to be rough knowing what she did when you thought she was so much different. However, you will be so much better off without her. Anger and disgust returning is normal. A new year is approaching and a new beginning for you. Best of luck.

 

Thank you. It's going on something around 6 months or so now and I'm only just now beginning to feel true anger. At first it was simply sadness, loss, and confusion. But not anymore. I'm mostly just disgusted and angry when I do think about it.

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I hear you friend. Like you shortly after my 4yr anniversary my girl left me as well and like yours had a history of cheating in which stupid me tried to forgive and make it work but ultimately it didn't. Your cousin I think has some poor judgement and you need to have a serious talk with him. Outside of that just know you are a good person and that you'll never sink to the level of destroying someone's emotions in that way.

 

I'm sorry that you've had to experience similar. I'm sorry that any of us in this community have. It just seems to be so... common. It's disturbing. But you are right that I would NEVER put a person through that. I can safely and honestly say that I have never and will never betray a significant other. Cheating is abhorrent.

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Don't blame your cousin in any way. Just stay away from Facebook or at the very least delete her so you cannot see that stuff.

 

I can't stay away from Facebook, I need it to keep in regular contact with old friends and family in different parts of the country. But she's deleted, I deleted her after our breakup.

 

It was an old post I apparently missed when I went through months back to delete them all. She had two comments on it, and it showed her new profile picture since profile pictures are always updated regardless of how old a post is. I deleted the status the moment I had become aware it still existed. Whether my cousin was intentionally trying to upset me or not, I'm not sure. He's done things in the past intentionally to aggravate me, so it wouldn't surprise me. He's not very mature. Regardless, I won't hold a grudge or anything against him.

 

It just brought up some very bad feelings that I needed to vent.

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You know the awesome thing about facebook is you can block someone. Once activated you cannot and will not see anything to do with that person. I did it once before and it works really well. Its almost like they didn't exist. Take the time and do it you wont regret it.

 

Good luck

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I understand how you feel... mine did something similar.

Anger is just part of the grieving. Yes, we start out so heart broken, sad, lonely etc.. moving onto the resentment & anger more in the end of everything.

 

In 6 months.. yes, it'll still be there for a little while more, as we 'try' to accept this 'loss'. It can be very rough at times.

 

Do as you are.. keep going, this will ease off a bit. And at least you're aware of how she is. So, in the end you'll come to realize, not being with her is best. But meanwhile.. yes, you've been hurt, badly, yes!

 

One day at a time.

 

tc

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