Self fulfilling prophecy or am I just a ?

[ck1681]

second thoughts about putting my life on the net

[Lambert]

I guess you are the only one that knows for sure... I know it can feel good to have an ex talk to you, especially when you are happy with someone else. But knowing your man has these insecurity issues, you probably should have cut any conversation.

 

With that said, I think you need to decide for yourself if you want to be in a relationship with someone that has these issues. It can be hard if you don't see things the same way, ie you see it as no big deal, but he left. I think if you chase him and apologize then you are saying what you did was wrong and that he had the right to leave. That your behavior was unacceptable. Is that how you feel?

[ck1681]

Oh I fully copped to what I did was being "wrong" although I still didnt see it as "cheating." On its face having any type of sexual topic conversation with an ex regardless of context is pretty damn disrespectful. Sad thing is I knew the entire time how he would react to it had he found it. I totally wasnt 100% respectful, understanding, patient of his issues. That guilt is what makes the whole ordeal so difficult to reconcile in my mind. On the other hand I sort of feel that it wouldnt have mattered any way. I could have been the perfect person, and it would have never been good enough for him to trust me, because he simply couldnt allow himself to trust for fear of being hurt again.

 

He actually did come back 3 weeks later, we started going to counseling and he came back really strong, saying I was "the one" wanted to marry me, have kids with me, have a life with me. Didnt last long though, the therapist tried to peel the cover off his trust issues, and he bailed and started seeing someone else 3 days later. It was a complicated dynamic just looking for alternate perspective.