Found The Girl of My Dreams, How do i ask her out?

[Gentleman1234]

Ok.. so let me start of by saying that i'm 14 and there is this girl that i have known for quite a while (she's 15) and we are great friends... recently i have gotten strong feelings for her and these feelings have grown to a point where i never before liked another Girl so much... Now here is the problem ... Me and her live in 2 different countries .. but we do see each other at least once a month... Me and her talk a lot over Facebook ... and I just don't know what to do... Im madly in love with her and Im thinking about asking her out and having a long distance relationship temporarily as she will probably move back to the country im in .. so thats i ... Does any1 have any good suggestions on what approach i should take to ask her out? Thank you all so much -MK

[SooSad33]

For your age of 14, I think this is going to be quite a challenge for you both. Distance and all.

Neither one of you would have a licence so not like you can just up and drive or meet somewhere now and then.

 

You may find these feelings for her rather strong for her right now... but I honestly think, that in time.. when you both may realize it is not very easy, it may hurt to accept and then have to move on. Im just cautioning you on the problems that may arise.

Distance is not easy on anyone to have a proper relationship.

[Lorem Ipsum]

IMO, and this is *not* what you are going to want to hear, you would be better off dating a girl who lives in the same place you do. If this girl does wind up moving back to your country, then feel free to try and date her but until she does, you should stop spending so much time online with her and start spending more time with people in the real world.

 

Long distance relationships are hard for adults with freedom and money and lots of experience. I'm not trying to be harsh here, but I've seen your story more times than I want to think about and it always goes this way: some big event comes up in high school like prom or the winter formal. There is someone locally where she lives who is giving her attention. She may not tell you about this boy. Or she may mention him as a "friend" who she texts with. You will immediately get jealous. She goes to this event with this other boy and you are devastated, completely crushed. Long drawn out battle happens on Facebook where you both post mean things that haunt you and you regret later. She admits that she likes this other boy and you are even more hurt. You are bewildered and confused by how she could like you and spend time with you online and then do this to you.

 

Seriously, there's nothing wrong with having a crush. But you would be much better off to turn your attention to local girls because you can't get a hug from a screen and a Facebook post doesn't kiss you back.

[asdf224718]

Ignore the above two posts. My relationship was long distance and now we are living together. I guess it is the equivalent to people in the US living in separate states? And FYI people, he was not asking whether or not he should do it, he was asking how he should do it. Don't trample on young love. I find this so romantic.

 

Do you ever write letters to each other? If you don't you should write one out expressing your feelings, put a flower in it and send it. That would be so sweet and something she could cherish instead of in an email. Or if you want to do it when you see her next, have a picnic

[Gentleman1234]

So let me start of by saying i'm 14... and there is this girl that i REALLY Like.. ALOT (she's 15 btw) .. anyways... me and her hang out a lot and we are great friends and the important thing is that we like each other for who we are... we have know each other for about 1 year.. We hang out sometimes (we don't go to the same school...) however when we see each other my and her family are together.. and we never get any alone time (she has a brother and i have a sister they r both the same age...) Luckily for me we do occasionally go to her house and if Im Lucky enough i get some alone time with her we usually watch a movie together.. however this time i was thinking to express my feelings to her... hopefully she will feel the same way and 1 thing will lead to another (not too far of course

So my question to you guys is: 1.) Should I ask her out?

2.) How do I ask her out?

3.) What can or will happen?

Thx every1 for reading this ... hope to get some really helpful replies

[SooSad33]

I understand you two are just 'friends' right now.

Are YOU willing to risk your friendship, wanting to go further and have her as a girlfriend? You are aware that going further can and usually does do that..to a friendship.

 

If you do, then by all means, ask her out. Do you think she likes you the same way? Than that's another bonus.

 

Just be careful- take it easy. Be as you are good luck.

[Gentleman1234]

I think she does have some feelings for me... I don't think that this can damage our friendship...because if she says no that means ill be friend zoned.. so ill be like : oh well i took my chances good enough for me... If she says yes and she breaks up with me ill be ok with it.. ill be like : well it was great while it lasted And if she says yes and we don't break up that mean WIN!!!

[Dragunov-21]

2.) How do I ask her out?

 

Hey abc, I've been thinking... do you wanna go to xyz with me? Like, a date?

 

Any variation on the above would probably be a good start. Keep casual if you can and don't be disappointed if she declines; THAT is what will ruin the friendship, either because she may feel that you were only hanging around because you had an ulterior motive or because she worries she's going to have to spend a bunch of effort/thought into keeping you at arms length so you don't get the wrong idea.

 

3.) What can or will happen?

 

She might say yes, she might say no. Like I said, it's important that you don't act like it's a big deal to psych yourself up and ask her. The impression I suggest you give is that you like her, but that anything else is incidental to your friendship and the friendship is your focus.

 

It's also important that if she declines, that you get it out of your head (romantic thoughts of her). That will kill what you have pretty quickly because you will no longer be someone she can be totally relaxed/at ease around if she feels you're sniffing around for a potential "in".

 

And get that friendzone crap out of your head; you're either a romantically attractive proposition to her or you aren't, and the fact that you are friends is your choice. If being "merely" her friend is a disappointment, then it serves the dude right for not being upfront about his intentions. (Not saying that's you, here; it sounds like you have your head screwed on straight.)

[Capricorn3]

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