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Advise needed


Babybuttons

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Im 23 and have been in a relationship with a guy whos 33 for around 7/8 months. Things were going great and we were always spending time together and he used to stay over at my house a few days a week. Then things started to changed. A few weeks ago we were at a party and got drunk and had unprotected sex. This is the first time ever the sex has been unprotected as we have always been careful. After this night he has told me that if i am pregnant i need to "take care of it" as he doesnt want any kids. After a big argument, ive since found out that he already has two children and a partner at home!!! I was so shocked and felt so used. He hasnt spoken to me since this argument and I really dont know what to do. Obviously i dont want to continue a relationship after finding this out, but i also dont want to go through a pregnancy on my own and for the child not to know their dad.

 

If anyone has ever been in the same situation or have any advise id greatly appreciate it.

 

Thanks

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Soooo are you actually pregnant? Why didn't you use the morning after pill (rhetorical question).

 

Anyway, if you know you are indeed pregnant, it's your life and your decision on what you do. No matter what, you get to live with the consequences. You can't force him to be with you or be a good dad or be a family, however you can enforce child support. Basically, you need to decide if you are going forward with the pregnancy and if you are, how you will manage raising the child on your own. Believing this and that is great in theory, but life can turn out quite differently and you simply have to deal with what is, not what you envisioned.

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Yes I am pregnant very eeary stages. Like I said I dont wanna be with him. Just confused and seeking advice since I cant actually talk to him about it. In response to the morning after pill had I of known he was with another woman I wouldn't of slept with him anyway. He told me at the time not to worry and he would stand by me no matter what.

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wow that sucks.... well I'd say just consider if you want his kid or not. I'm not one to generally agree with abortions n such but raising a kid by yourself in that scenario kinda sucks too. Heh should pay a visit to his house when he's not home and introduce the newest member haha ok sorry

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Honestly - I would look at it as calmly as possible taking who the father is out of the picture for the moment. You can get child support from him regardless of his wishes on that matter, and even if he doesn't want to a be a part of this child's life, that shouldn't be the deciding factor for you wanting to keep, abort, or look into adoption.

 

Do YOU want this child? Do you have the resources to raise a child at this time? If no - are you, personally, comfortable with the concept of abortion, or would you feel easier exploring adoption options?

 

And if you DO decide you want to explore adoption options - see a lawyer asap to get papers drawn up for him to relinquish his parental rights. If he's enough of a jerk to have you as his side dish, he's enough of a jerk to make your life miserable for the heck of it.

 

But whether HE wants this child, since he's no longer a part of your life, and has voiced his desire to be no part of the baby's, his decision should have no bearing on yours. That should be based on your own wishes and evaluation of what is and isn't a feasible option for you.

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Does he even know you are pregnant? I think he should know. Then really it's up to you to think about what you want. He's already given you his opinion which is you should "take care of it" and how you choose to do that is entirely up to you. For now make and appointment with your doctor and start researching options. If you do end up keeping the child or if you go with adoption, you want to make sure you start pre-natal vitamins and other prenatal care now so that the child has the best chance at a healthy beginning.

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