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URGENT: She changed the date?


Caconfused

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Hey guys, so this is really throwing me in the loop with one of my spinning plates.

 

I met her right before Thanksgiving..Good date

 

She flaked twice, then asked me out a week ago.

 

We went out, had amazing sex. The next day before I went away for Holidays, she asked me hang out soon.

 

5 days later I asked her to hang this Saturday because there's a mixology bar I want to try... we'll get food too. She said "Sounds good, what time." and this is on Thursday night. I reply 7pm

 

Then this morning, at 7am I get this text. "Perfect I'll have to be home at 10pm. I promised a friend of mine I would go see the "mitty" movie with her."

 

What the hell should I do about that? Sounds like a no sex zone now? Any ideas what's up? Need to reply to her soon. Actually I had reservations for the mixology bar at 8:30 after food so that wouldn't work at all. I could change the plans though to fit her schedule. seems ridiculous

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Is 'sex' a major deal to you? Shouldn't you work on accepting things..slowly? Do you want to go on a date.. or not?

If you don't like how this date is going to go- can always suggest another day instead? Because of her 'other plans'?

 

In the beginning, you should take things in stride. Don't need to jump right into all full fledge. Don't 'expect' all to be all aligned.. for you.

Takes two... to make things work...from her, on in.

 

good luck

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Why do you think you have the right to expect sex on every dater from now on? Maybe she normally does not sleep with sb in the second date and felt bad after that so she is trying to check if she puts "time limit" 7-10 you will still want to hang out cos you like her or you will say let's meet some other time cos you only want sex. I would do that . If you only want casual sex and she wants to date and is looking for a relationship but made a mistake of sleeping with you too early then good for her if she cancels again

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Going from your prior post and knowing how that was not properly handled... and your last statement saying "seems ridiculous"... you need to be honest with yourself and her about what you want. With dating, your priorities should be on making her and yourself feel comfortable. Just because she had sex with you the last time you saw her, doesn't mean she has to again. I'm not even sure why you even mentioned the "no sex zone" bit.

 

It sounds like you really aren't all that into her and are maybe just looking for sex. Like another poster said you seem to assume the worst. I'm not sure if you are ready for serious dating with this pessimistic attitude and unnecessary negativity towards a slight change of plans. If it seems ridiculous to change plans so that you both feel comfortable and knowing sex may be off the table, then you two are definitely not a good match and you should be honest with women about what you actually want.

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maybe she was trying to make you fit on her schedule - like she had other plans first, and had to rearrange her life to fit you in, though with a short window. maybe she got on her period and is not comfortable yet to tell you (reason of the curfew). and maybe she wanted to slow things down a bit to see if it was just about the sex or not.

 

dating in december is tricky - holidays, family, work parties, celebrations, friends getting together, and most of the times it's just too soon to bring new dates around. I'd give it two dates after nye to see what's the real deal with her.

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