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My boyfriend always said I'm a bad listener... Am i a bad listener?


xaznbabyx

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I don't really recall the incidents, but I do really try to listen, but I'm just a slow learner and I can't focus sometimes. I have a learning disability and my boyfriend knows that. i have few issues with audio perception, reading comprehension, and processing information quickly. Whenever he says I don't listen, it frustrates me more. I mean he thinks I always try to argue with him. He also says I'm not listening to him when I ask him to repeat and sometimes I can't hear what he said or I'm tuned out... It gets annoying when I just ask him to rephrase, and he says I'm not listening...

 

One time I told him to turn 22nd street and he asked me why I didn't have him turn right on 23rd street. I told him he can't turn left (On Potrero) and he said no I said right, and I kept saying you can't turn left and I want to go behind the school. He told me that he can turn right (make another right in the alley to get behind the school), but I didn't process the information and he said I was arguing with him and I don't get it and I'm not listening. Then when I got off the car, I slowly processed and understood the information. I just felt dumb and stupid like slap in the face. I didn't mean to do that, but I think I use defense mechanism to prevent people from making me feel dumb and stupid.. its like I automatically do that... I used to think I was dumb and that made me have low-self esteem, but I went passed that, and trying really hard to stay focus and take notes in class.

 

Am I a bad listener? =/ One of My ex said the same about he was stupid irritating and a attention-wh0r3

 

o by the way, I learn by doing stuff, not so much by hearing.. I remember my friend teaching me dance moves and all she did was yell at me that made me mess up even more... =/ and this girl younger then me yelled at me when I messed up at this card games.. To this day, I still feel ashamed when I mess up and people think I'm stupid... o.0 I feel embarassed. How do i tell this to my boyfriend?

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I think there are challenges on both sides. You might be able to do a few things to make him feel like you are listening ... such as writing things down and telling him what you heard.

 

On the other hand, he would have to be more patient with you. I fear that he's picking fights because he's losing his desire to be with you anymore.

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If you have an auditory processing disorder it is silly for him to expect you to fully understand something the first time he says it. You asking him to repeat it is a sign that you are trying to listen.

 

There are usually 2 sides to every story. When someone says their partner is a bad listener it may indeed be true, but it also could mean that the person needs to be heard too much too, as in always demanding their partner listen to them and talking too much in a co-dependent manner.

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