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Just need to rant and other people's perspective. So my ex is going to meet this new female friend in January and spend a week with her! When I would plan trips with him, he would never say yes to something as long as 7 days. What hurts most, he was planning these trips during our relationship yet he never told me anything. It just makes me so angry like he never valued me. I just feel so unappreciated. I'm ok with him spending time with her now, I'm just sad I was used as crutches while breaking up and he ensured a smooth transition for himself, while for me it was a very unexpected break-up. I trusted him so much, but he was texting her and making plans! Nevermind, in May they are going travelling to Spain for a music festival and possibly other countries too. When he was breaking up, he seemed so excited about this female friend, he was like 'Oh she goes clubbing everyday and smokes weed and knows all the artists I listen to'. Nevermind, I'm quite the opposite, so it really hurt to see him so excited and led me to compare myself to her in the early days past BU, felt like I was such uninteresting person to him. It is just so hard to accept and see that the person you trusted has changed so much.

 

Do you agree he is a bad person for doing that? Of course he didn't tell me about the trips because he knew I'd be jealous, what is funny, when I asked if I can come, he said no, meaning I would not fit in since I don't do drugs etc.

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I don't know if he is a bad person because I do not know him. I do think that he has shown interest in her for a long time and that is hurtful to you.

 

Ignorance is bliss in many ways. You need to stop finding out about his life or you will feel worse.

 

He told me this when we were breaking up. I don't even know what he has found in her, to be honest, she lives on a different continent and is not attractive. I guess shared interests mainly. He says they are only friends, but I kind of want them to get together, it would make moving on so much easier

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I suspect that they are way more than friends.

Oh she goes clubbing everyday and smokes weed and knows all the artists I listen to'.
. Sounds like he has decided that he wants to be a "wild and crazy guy" and he found someone who is into that lifestyle. If you are the complete opposite and are not into drugs then you are better off being away from him. This guy has already dragged you down enough and with this kind of lifestyle he would only drag you down further. Yes, party animal types think that those who don't follow that lifestyle are boring...but who cares what they think. There are lots of people in the world who do not party, go clubbing every night and smoke weed...so you would not at all be boring to lots of other people.
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I suspect that they are way more than friends. . Sounds like he has decided that he wants to be a "wild and crazy guy" and he found someone who is into that lifestyle. If you are the complete opposite and are not into drugs then you are better off being away from him. This guy has already dragged you down enough and with this kind of lifestyle he would only drag you down further. Yes, party animal types think that those who don't follow that lifestyle are boring...but who cares what they think. There are lots of people in the world who do not party, go clubbing every night and smoke weed...so you would not at all be boring to lots of other people.

 

Thanks for your input. It is true, it seems like he is trying so hard to change his lifestyle, he said 'Look at me I'm not your typical young person, this is a chance for me to be like other young people'. He doesn't have any career plans, while I'm at uni. I think this is just a case of us two having different paths in front of us. I sometimes feel like I am more mature than him, I don't need to feel cool or change my identity. Even the way he broke up is so immature. I do feel like uncool person now and it is nice to be reminded it is ok to be myself

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Another hurtful thing he has posted on his blog something about being free and going ahead with what he wanted to do 2-3 weeks before BU. when I asked him at the time what that blog post meant, he brushed it off saying it doesn't mean anything and I of course believed him because I trusted him so much.

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Silver, are you looking this stuff up post break up? Commit to not looking at his social media. He's removed you from his life. You are adding to your own feelings of anger by trying to insert yourself in finding out about his.

 

I just learned that he seems to be intracting so much with that new girl, it seems like they are in relationship or almost on the way there. I feel like a horrible person for some reason. I mean he cheated and left me why do I feel guilty. I looked because I was scared he is suicidal. Wish I had my counselor right now

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Silver,

 

If a person does that whilst in a relationship.. This only means one thing: he did not respect you. Planning ahead with the other girl even before breaking up with you, seems like you were his plan B in case A didnt work out as cool as he'd expected. As for the clubbing and weed smoking part: my ex used to say stuff like 'you never get drunk'. I'm at university too and she didnt finish high school. She transformed this POSITIVE character trait of mine (never getting wasted and having a hangover) into a NEGATIVE one. The same thing is happening to you. If he wants to have this clubbin weedsmokin life then let him have it and be guaranteed that he will get sick of it too. He is no good for you. I certainly recommend NC whatsoever. You are a good person and do not need to feel this way.

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Please block him on every form of social media that you can. It will only continue to anger you if you keep reading his posts. It's time for you to move on and go completely NC for your own emotional well-being.

 

Completely agree. Your anger has no impact on his actions. He is doing what he wants to make himself happy. Getting out of knowing what he is doing is going to help you emotionally in the long run.

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