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How was 2013 for you?


quirky

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As 2013 is about to leave us I found myself asking this question to a friend last night!

 

2013 was a year of deep personal growth for me.

 

I changed direction professionally, I am retraining, studying, freelancing, considering starting an online business and overall I found direction careerwise. That is priceless! !

 

I was very restless and unsure before about career stuff because I was attached to my dream of being creative and having a creative job.

 

 

It is also the year that I joined a gym and learned about nutrition. Apart from the obvious results of losing a little bit of weight I learned to care for myself more. I found myself doing something I never associated myself with; going to the gym and pushing myself physically.

 

I also started dating again in 2013. Still no long term relationship but hey..maybe one day 8)

 

In 2013 I have met some great people as a result of my career shift and I feel more hopeful than before in forming nurturing relationships and maybe a couple more friendships. This is very important to me because I am living abroad and I miss the love from my family, so more friends help

 

So yeah..overall a good year. Not a happy clappy year as such but good and definitely better than 2012!

 

How about you?

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2013 was a lot of things... This past year has been both the best and worst year in my life, in a few ways.

 

I had my son December of last year. My friendships have really solidified...I had to do a lot of weeding out for that to happen when I was pregnant, and it was very lonely...But well worth the pay off. One of the most significant things is how much change I've gone through. Not just gone through, because we all go through changes, but how I am the one who initiated those changes. I am the one who had a plan in place, and I saw it through. There were many times I felt so uncomfortable and unsettled that I thought maybe I wasn't making the right decisions and moments where I felt weak..But as time goes on and things fall into place, I see they are just as they should be. I was totally committed to myself and my son and I am so proud of myself.

 

I also lost a significant amount of weight...I have changed my diet where it is primarily clean eating...My hair is so shiny, my complexion is great.

 

I'll take that back, I don't think it was one of my worst years - It was one of the most challenging. I feel like I did 10 years worth of New Years resolutions in one.

 

But I'm still happy to see it put behind me.

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A great year for me. I was freshly single after a miserable marriage, enjoyed my toddler each and every day, developed one new friendship in particular, got my "divorce rebound" out of the way. I really like who I am and am happy with where I am in all aspects of my life. Sharing it with a best friend and partner someday will be icing on the cake!

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It was basically stagnant, but I think I've made good use of that down time - I studied Chinese a lot, lost 20 pounds in the last four months, learned to be alone better, and also I just broke up with my best friend of 13 years - but wait- that's good news! Because that best friend was paroxetine (Paxil), which I had been taking 20 mg per day of starting in 2000. I started taking it for social anxiety, and it was great for helping me build up the confidence and experience I needed over these years, but this year I decided I didn't need it anymore because I had now developed the skills I needed to, thanks to the confidence it gave me, and I can take it myself from here. So I tapered off, and no more Paxil!

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It was GREAT for me!

 

Moved into my first REAL home (my first house that I bought all on my own), had some of my writings published, kept up my physical fitness and ran my first marathon (yay, me!) and had a lot of good times with family and friends. Professionally, my job didn't change or anything, but I felt I was especially good at it this year. I also feel like my perspective has changed drastically. I've really simplified my life, worked to communicate better, be more open, etc. -- and it's all been good. Health was good, too.

 

The ONLY thing dragging me down was that I didn't date at all -- not one date -- but...that was largely by choice. I didn't make the effort because I just didn't feel like putting a lot of energy into that. Next year, though, plan to try a bit more.

 

I hope 2014 starts off on a great note -- both for me and everyone else on here!

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It was a good year for me, much better than 2012 which was a disaster in every compartment of my life.

2013 brought me my dream job, good health, new friends, and I got rid of a "frenemy" I hadn't been able to get rid of for years. I had a short relationship that I ended without any heartbreak (on my side), lots of flirting around, I enjoyed myself a lot. I got a second cat, life is good

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2013 was the year that both healed and broke my heart in ways I would never have dreamed possible. Healed because I finally found a permanent home, my kids are doing well, I have a partner who is consistent and loves me and I love him and we seem compatible on most things, big things especially. Broken because my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I am now discovering that all the years I cried over relationship troubles are nothing to the pain of watching the woman who raised me now become lost in time, because whatever anchors us to the present and each other seems to no longer work within her.

 

I have no idea what the new year will bring, but I think I'm ready for it. One thing I have come to realize through the years is that I do survive and manage to land on my feet no matter what. So 2014, bring it. I'm ready.

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Mine... It started off pretty well. Nothing amazing or significant, but better than average... then I had an absolutely amazing middle of the year (summer), did tons of new and fun things, met a great guy... and now the end of the year has turned out to be a nightmare... I lost my job, my future living here is up in the air, and despite our relationship being pretty great we will probably have to break up. The end of the year also means another birthday, getting older and still not achieving any of my life goals (personal or career wise).

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2013 has been a pretty rough year for me... but I'm excited for it to end. I started the year single, I'm ending the year single. I tried to get back with my ex, which was going great for a while, but it all came to an end when she realized I hadn't changed and she couldn't trust me again. It's been a few months and she's moved on, I've stayed stagnant. A lot of my friends have had kids which is great!!! But it's also bittersweet. I'm now one of the last of my friends who's single and I know in summer 2014 it's going to be tough to find people to go out and have fun. All in all I've basically made no positive changes this year.

 

I've got big plans lined up for 2014 though and I'm ready to hit the ground running. I think this is going to be the year where I break out of my funk and make a plethora of positive changes.

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Wow the year in review? I guess it depends on how I look at it.

 

Career - Great. I have almost completed a Master's degree which has been a huge personal and financial challenge. I finally landed a permanent full time job in the field my Master's will be in. I also have my eye on another degree after I finish this one because my professional goals have expanded so much.

 

Finances - Not so great. This year was extremely challenging with unemployment, inconsistent temp jobs, and the cost of everything going up. I did accrue a little more debt, but with my new job I'm hoping to make a serious dent in that next year.

 

Community Service - Great. Giving back to others is very important to me and since I rarely have much money to share I offer my time. I did a lot of this consistently throughout the year, but also set boundaries and said no to keep from overloading myself.

 

Family - Great. Most of my loved ones are doing well.

 

Friends - Not so great. I don't have any close friends. I have casual acquaintances, but not the closeknit group I used to when I was younger. I did not spend the year depressed about this however.

 

Health - Great. I incorporated more stress reduction techniques and supplements. My weight was steady and I wasn't ill. I could certainly exercise more though. My new job has a benefits package so that will be nice too.

 

Relationships - Not so great. I stayed single the whole year and had a few rocky dating experiences. At times it was lonely, but overall I didn't not wallow in depression about this. I have met someone new that I see great potential with so we will see what next year brings.

 

Travel - Not so great. This didn't happen at all because I just couldn't afford it. Even day trips were out of the question, but I'm hoping to change this next year.

 

Creativity - Not so great. I am learning that my wellbeing is greatly improved when I incorporate creative pursuits. I just didn't have the motivation to check out museums, art galleries, or performances as much I have in prior years. Money wasn't the sole issue because many of those things are free or very cheap. This is something I hope to change in the new year.

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Let's see......

 

Early in the year I joined a social anxiety support group. That was the first time I'd met other people who struggled in the same way I did, or worse.

Going to the group was easy, the worst part was talking to my parents (who I live with) about it. They asked, I told them.

In the end I drifted away from that group and joined link removed

Joined an amateur photography group. Found out that I'm actually good at something.

 

Had a great summer, the weather was really good. Went to lots of events. Made some friends. Took hundreds of photos.

Went to a carnival for the first time in decades. I could never stand the crowds before, but I didn't mind it this time.

 

I asked a girl from the group out to an event... We went to the event. We had a nice time, talked for ages... That's about it.

Asked her out again later. We went out again, we had fun again... that's about all I can say. Even now I'm not entirely sure what's going on with me and her, I don't know if you could even call us friends. Still, even if you wouldn't class either of those as dates, I've come the closest that I've ever been, to taking somebody on a date.

 

Anyway... for the first time since I can remember, I've met people who seem interested in me, and remember things I've said, and remember my existence, and invite me to things...

It was about this time that I stopped attending the church I'd been a member of for about 15 years. I realised that I hadn't got anything out of it for years and it was just one of the habits I'd fallen into.

 

I organised a camping trip for the photography group. 4 of us went to Wales for a weekend and sampled the local scenery and beer. It was a great success, which surprised me, seeing as I had organised it.

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After a lot of discussion with people online, I started seeing a counsellor for the fist time. Just as somebody... external to talk to.

Months back, somebody on ENA said that I'll wish I'd started counselling sooner. They were right. I'm still going weekly and I feel like I'm getting a lot out of it still.

 

And then, to put the finishing touches to 2013, about a month ago I bit the bullet, found a flat, wrecked my savings account and started moving out of my parent's house. I've been talking about it for nearly 2 years and not really doing much about it, then an opportunity just popped up and I grabbed it. For the first time in my life I will be living alone and taking responsibility for myself. I've never spent more than a week away from my parents and they've done far too much for me over the years. At time-of-writing I'm not 100% moved out, because there was some kind of festival thing last Wednesday which made everything difficult and delayed everything, but I'll be out in the next week or so.

 

There's so much that I've had to miss out. It's probably been the most eventful year of my life and one of the most enjoyable. I feel like I'll look back and say that 2013 was the year that things finally changed.

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One of the most significant things is how much change I've gone through. Not just gone through, because we all go through changes, but how I am the one who initiated those changes. I am the one who had a plan in place, and I saw it through. There were many times I felt so uncomfortable and unsettled that I thought maybe I wasn't making the right decisions and moments where I felt weak..But as time goes on and things fall into place, I see they are just as they should be. I was totally committed to myself and my son and I am so proud of myself.

 

I feel like I did 10 years worth of New Years resolutions in one.

 

Omg, I feel so similar.

 

When I decided to change direction jobwise, study and volunteer I felt lost and confused as to where am I heading. It FELT right but I was scared due to the lack of evidence that I am DOING the right thing. And when I wrote a new CV 10 months later and I added my new skills I was surprised and really felt that things had shifted. I was happy but also felt I was leaving something behind..the old me, actually the younger me. Instigating changes and going ahead with them can lead to a temporary loss of identity, the identity you have associated yourself with all these years.

 

And the biggest thing for me has been emotionally, actuallly looking after myself and my needs. It's surprising how easily some people do it and how others like me need to try for it, try to care enough. Even the gym and nutrition discovery was about self love to some extend.

 

I still have a lot of work to do with emotional obstacles but at least after this year it all feels a bit more possible.

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