After xmas text came 'i'm sorry'-email

[ChilliRed2013]

There's just no point in continuing to contact her. It won't make you feel BETTER -- after the momentary rush of contact dies down, it leaves you feeling worse. You won't change her mind about the breakup. You won't make her see herself in a different light. All you'll do is give her more ammunition to justify her decision to end things.

 

The next time you want to contact her, post here instead.

 

I get that you're at the rock bottom right now.... most of us here have been there, too. Remember it DOES get better in time, as long as you don't contact her again.

 

(And no -- you're not a loser. And SHE wasn't even CLOSE to being the love of your life!)

 

Bolded the most important bit... don't torture yourself by continued contact Lucha. Don't give her ammunition to justify.

 

You have found this site. Use it for all it is worth! Start a journal, read 1000 old threads, post what you have learnt to others in need of support. Pay attention to any and all comments to your posts.

 

I made the same mistakes as you, but did not have the knowledge or experience to deal with an ex such as this.

 

Type here! In all the confusion and emotion, steer yourself here. Don't type a text, don't type an email... please type here and here only. You will love the feeling afterwards. Knowing you do not REACT to her directly anymore.

[sophi3]

You have the rest of your life to let your ex know you've forgiven her and moved on or extend an olive branch of friendship.... there's no hurry. Your ex has no right to expect your forgiveness so soon after a breakup. It's ridiculous.

Thank you for posting this. I wanted to stay friends right after the breakup because i was scared that the friendship would die if the communication was lost. I should focus on healing myself first.

[Lucha]

So.. things escalated even more. Mails and texts have been sent back and forth in which she's trying to justify her acts and saying she is not a bad person and all she ever wanted was to not hurt me. Next thing I know I am sending rants. Reminding her of how the last couple of months were for me. That I never felt more pain in my life. That I think she acted out of selfishness and not out of concern with me. And that I hope one day the same thing will happen to her, so maybe she then can learn to appreciate a loyal, sweet girlfriend like me. I feel sick and now I have to go and celebrate the end of this crappy year. Hooray.

[mhowe]

Well...now you have complete closure. I would say the chance of keeping a friendship in the future is approaching zero.

[sharky988]

So.. things escalated even more. Mails and texts have been sent back and forth in which she's trying to justify her acts and saying she is not a bad person and all she ever wanted was to not hurt me. Next thing I know I am sending rants. Reminding her of how the last couple of months were for me. That I never felt more pain in my life. That I think she acted out of selfishness and not out of concern with me. And that I hope one day the same thing will happen to her, so maybe she then can learn to appreciate a loyal, sweet girlfriend like me. I feel sick and now I have to go and celebrate the end of this crappy year. Hooray.

 

Okay -- I hope you've now STOPPED THIS.

 

I really urge you to POST HERE INSTEAD if you ever receive a communication from her -- which you wouldn't if you had her blocked and changed your number -- or if you're ever tempted to initiate contact.

 

The pain you're feeling now is actually going to help you move on.

 

Remember how utterly miserable you feel right now... the next time you're tempted to "reach out".

 

You've told her everything, made your pleas, and guess what? NOTHING HAS CHANGED. It does no good to tell her how you feel. It doesn't change anything. She still justifies her actions. All it does is pull you down into the mud and make you feel hurt and angry and sad all over again.

 

So.... now you need to go No Contact. FOR REAL.

 

This is a perfect New Year Resolution for you, don't you think?

 

I hope you were able to spend time with friends and people who love and support you for New Year's Eve.