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Long distance relationship ended; Should I reach out to her?


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We were in a long distance relationship for a little more than 2 years. According to her I was unemotional and cold, throughout and once I was rude. That time my mother was terminally ill but I still went ahead to meet her as her tickets were non-refundable but in that trip I was always thinking about my mother.


After that things were fine in between us. But then, 6 months after that argument she suddenly started to avoid me and then told me that she didn't feel for me like before but would like to remain friends as she still liked me. I accepted her friendship, persuaded her to talk to me once. Had sent my visa for processing and going there to give her a surprise visit but she came to know about it and said that it'd be a wastage of money and time. In another conversation after that she mentioned her priorities are her kids then and ended the conversation saying 'we're eating and the conversation is over!'.


After that she wished me on a holiday. I interacted very normally without showing much of emotions. That was 2 weeks back. Since then we haven't contacted each other for around 8 weeks.


Recently we have shared messages and wished each other on Christmas.


I still have feelings for her. I am thinking if I should give a surprise visit to her in the future, probably on her birthday, which is 2 months from now, just not to regret things in the future and obviously physical presence means a lot more than online communications.


Please suggest.

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Considering her response the last time you were planning to surprise her, I wouldn't visit as a surprise. If you really want to see her and get some closure and/or have no regrets, I would let her know your intentions and ask her if she's open to a visit from you and if so, plan the visit to fit a time that works for her. Be prepared, she may say no to the visit and if so, I'd suggest cutting all contact with her so you can move on.

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