How to get over my cheating ex-girlfriend

[jb2244]

Hello everyone,

 

Long story short: I met her at a bar. She was there with her boyfriend but didn't introduce him as her boyfriend. As I was leaving she asked me for my phone number in front of him. She later texted me all the time and eventually told me that the guy there was her bf.

 

She eventually admitted that she had a crush on me and was breaking up with her bf and wanted to see what could happen between us. She told me she broke up with him and we started to go out. I knew she had a trip planned with her ex-boyfriend to Egypt but she told me she changed her flight and wasn't going with him but still had to go to see her good friend there and would spend the entire time with him.

 

She came back and told me she didn't see him there. We go out for another few months and then she breaks up with me out of nowhere. 3 days later she said she can't live without me and we get back together. A month later she breaks up with me again.

 

At this point I got suspicious and found out the truth. For the first 2 months she saw both of us, she went to Egypt with the other guy and only broke up with him when she came back. She then saw me exclusively for a few months but he kept trying to come back promising her that he would change. She then saw us both again for the last two months. I confirmed all of this from the other guy.

 

She's back with him and the other guy even called me to tell me to leave her alone even though I had left her alone. She then call me and tells me that they aren't together . When he called me he told me that she was really in love with me and wanted to marry me but that they had a 3-4 year long relationship and it was tough for her and she only saw me because marriage and kids are important to her and she knows that he will never give her that life.

 

However I found out recently that they are engaged and it hurts so much.

 

I know she's the one who lied and manipulated everything but I can't hell but feel that maybe I did something wrong. We had plans to move in and we were talking marriage and kids. At one point j did say to her what if I'm not ready for marriage and kids....maybe that scared her away. I mean we had only been seeing each other for 3 months when I said that to her.

 

She also made a huge deal about telling my mom about her. I had never told my mom about anyone before and eventually did tell my mom about her but it took some time.

 

She started studying for the Mcat. And we saw each other less. I think that put a strain on our relationship l but instead of making the effort to make it work. She just played games with me. It hurts so much to find out they are enaged.

 

How do I heal?

[savignon]

I think she used both of you and pitted one against the other to see who would give her what she wants first. Sadly that worked if you're still pinning for her and the other guy proposed. He stepped up his game so she'd stay and that may have been her intention all along. Make him jealous/get some competition rolling and bam-he suddenly wants the "life he wasn't going to give her".

She sounds like a user and manipulator. Be grateful you don't have to compete for her attention anymore.

[jb2244]

It hurts so much. Is this normal is this what girls do? We're both 28 - I thought the games end at this age.

 

It hurts and I wonder why she picked him over me. Like what was so wrong with what we had. I mean she had been with him for 3 years prior. She said she wanted to marry me and that I was the best thing to ever happen to her. Why would she do this to me?

[mhowe]

Of course it isn't normal. Most people have consciences.

 

She happens to be lacking in that department.

 

Why she picked him? That is what you are focusing on?

Not her lack of morals or integrity? Or her lying?

 

And given what you now know about her --- who cares how she reasons?

[Ms Darcy]

I hope you remember this pain. Breathe it in and take it as a lesson learned. It's amazing to me how, when a pretty girl or boy walks by, people completely lose common sense.

 

Use your heartache to be a better, smarter dater. Don't talk to a girl who has a bf. Don't date a girl just out of a relationship. Remember that the way you get them is the way you will lose them (running back and forth between men). Act with integrity and trust you will get goodness back in spades.

[No1]

There was a story that was very simular to this about a year ago. You that lawyer in NYC that kept on to holding on instead of letting go?

[jb2244]

I honestly thought she just wanted to be friends. That's why I talked to her. I was honest and had integrity.

 

I feel so terrible. This has caused me so much pain and has taken a top on me.

[mhowe]

Long story short: I met her at a bar. She was there with her boyfriend but didn't introduce him as her boyfriend. As I was leaving she asked me for my phone number in front of him. She later texted me all the time and eventually told me that the guy there was her bf.

 

She eventually admitted that she had a crush on me and was breaking up with her bf and wanted to see what could happen between us. She told me she broke up with him and we started to go out.

 

That doesn't sound like she wanted to be friends.

[No1]

Didnt this happen early last year?

[jb2244]

It happened recently. The break up.

 

For 2 mont ha we texted but it was always friendly stuff. Then after two months she told me she had a crush. Só in the beginning I thought she just wanted friendship.

[mhowe]

It happened recently. The break up.

 

For 2 mont ha we texted but it was always friendly stuff. Then after two months she told me she had a crush. Só in the beginning I thought she just wanted friendship.

 

Well ---- as soon as you found out the guy at the bar was her bf and she was slipping you her number, you should have headed for the exit sign.

[No1]

I ask because there was a very simular story about this exact same thing. Guy meets girl who was already seeing someone, then guy and girl go out while girl is still seeing the X behind the guys back and then lying about it. Girl goes on a trip with the X and says 'nothing happened' and guy finds out girl lied.

I dont know what you are so confused about really. You never really had her in the first place. You are holding on to promises she made while she was dating. Funny how you have chosen to believe certain lies she has said.

Kush... let things go, you never had her, she was never yours. There was nothing you could of done or said because your 'relationship' was doomed when you met her and she lied to you about her BF. What is there to be confused about? What she said in the past no longer matters, let it go.

[jb2244]

Well ---- as soon as you found out the guy at the bar was her bf and she was slipping you her number, you should have headed for the exit sign.

 

She didn't slip me yer number. She did it on front of her bf. That's why I thought she just wanted to be friends. And she she said something like "we should all hang out"

[mhowe]

Did he have a white cane? Or a service dog?

[jb2244]

Yes I know it was strange. She did it right in front of him. He 1ft away and was talking to us. He didn't react or say a word. It was really weird.

[No1]

This was the same story that was posted back in June under another name

 

[jb2244]

I feel so much anger and want her to pay for what she did to me.

 

I feel like she got what she wanted from hurting me.

[BellaDonna]

Thread closed.