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I text him Merry Christmas


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A quick history: Me and my ex broke up in September. He had cheated on me with a co-worker (who was also in a ltr) and then left me for her. I don't know how serious they currently are, but she is older and has a child and now is fresh from a break up too. Also they are dating in 'secret' because they are not allowed to date co-workers...hell I don't know if its official between them or its just a fling. To be honest I don't want to know. We were together for nearly 9 years and lived together for 7. We both dated from a young age.

 

Anyway, fast forward, the break up really affected me. I feel into depression, was put on medication, ended up in hospital after a failed suicide attempt (I O.D on my medication)...we kept in contact. 50% of the time was fine, we'd hang out, have food, see a movie, laugh like old times. The other 50% was us both in floods of tears. I wasn't until November when I saw him and the girl together when my bus drove past them that we went NC. After seeing them together I lost it. I tried calling him over and over, I told him I saw them together and he said he was sorry and didn't want to make it harder than it already is...so we went NC. He tried calling me a week after we started NC but I missed the call, I text him back asking what he wanted, but he never replied.

 

We were NC until today. I have been moving forward with my life, got a lot of exciting things happening at University at the moment. I haven't felt the urge to call him or text him. I've even stopped social media stalking (haven't been able to delete him). But I don't know what happened to me today. I was wishing all my friends a merry christmas via text and without thinking too hard about it I sent him a message too. I said Merry Christmas, hope all is well in *insert city here*. He text back straight away wishing me the same and hopes I have a good rest before I start up at University again.

 

I just smiled. I didn't jump for joy that he text back, I was 85% sure he wasn't going to text back. Then I went on with the rest of my Christmas day celebrations with my family. Later that night I posted a picture of a dish I made for Christmas dinner, it was a dish I make every year, usually for his family as I usually had xmas there, on facebook and he liked it. It was the first time he's liked anything of mine in months and months. To be honest I hide his posts and nevvveerr like anything of his since the b/u.

 

But today has made me realise that I can continue with NC now. I felt there was a negative energy when we decided to go NC in November, but today made things feel better. I feel like I can continue NC better now knowing that he doesn't hate me. I didn't feel the urge to text him back after his reply to my text. I don't know why but it may not sound like it to you guys...but I feel like I've made a small piece of progress today. Back to NC!

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I feel it's best to leave it all with NC. So you can keep healing from the BU.

If you keep this going.. it may end up setting you back and more feelings can arise, if you're not getting what you want (back together).

 

Even though he may be 'liking' things, doesn't mean things are going to go back the way they were.

Be careful here.

 

Best to keep going, leave it alone now- as you know he's not w/ angry feelings, whatever, for your own benefit.

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You know at this point that any contact with him isn't going to help you.

 

Please don't read into the fact that he replied. He's with someone else and you desperately need to stop contacting him so you can move on.

 

Every time you contact him, you'll get a rush. Then it will fade and you'll come up with another excuse to contact.... and another.... and another.... until you finally have so much pain that once again you force yourself to stop. It's a vicious cycle. The only way to end it is to go No Contact and stick with it!

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Thanks for the replies!

 

I'm pleased with my progress. NC has helped so much. I'm just happy things between us seem less negative. I want him to remember me in a good light I suppose.

 

I've got a lot going on in 2014, good things! Its his loss that he won't be experiencing them with me. Going NC will allow me to focus on myself, my goals. He'll soon realise that I'm no longer his "safety net" when I don't keep him informed of all the positive things that are happening in my life and maybe find someone who loves me and only me.

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