My ex came to town, ugh...

[DanDee]

Where to begin?

 

Well, I have an ex boyfriend who I felt a lot for... until he moved away with his work and we separated. This was about eighteen months ago. He messaged me every now and then until contact stopped for about 5 months - when he had a new girlfriend - then suddenly text again asking how I was etc. when he split up with her. He instigated a message about every 1-2 months until last week he said he was visiting my town and could I meet for a few Xmas drinks with a couple of his friends that live in the town I'm in. So I did, with the intention of it being a catch up between friends. But even so, throughout the night he was flirty with me, reminiscing on the things we did and places we visited. Also, when I got in at the end of the night he sent this message... "I'm not sure what this power is that you have over me is, but it's still there. It was lovely seeing you. Sweet dreams xx". Uh-oh.

 

So the problem? I have a wonderful boyfriend who I've been with for almost a year. Another problem? A relationship could never happen with the ex because he's in the armed forces about to go overseas for a year. Neither of us are cut out for an LDR and that's why we separated.

 

I care deeply for my boyfriend, and I can see myself building a future with him. He's reliable (unlike the ex), intelligent, attentive, and we have similar personalities (also unlike the ex who was an outgoing, intrepid traveller type who thinks nothing of going on holiday to the other side of the world at the drop of hat). Yes, I do love my current boyfriend... but in a different way from how I loved my ex.

 

I feel awful for meeting up and looking back, I shouldn't have. I want to be with the person I am with right now but I need to be able to lay my ex to rest. It's just so difficult when he instigates contact. I thought when he moved away, that would be it but clearly he wants to remain in contact and I guess I do to?

 

I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading.

[Dragunov-21]

If you're committed to the new bloke, I think it would be wise to explain to your ex that it's too hard for you to stay in contact, that you're committed to someone else and don't want to jeopardise that.

 

You haven't done anything wrong, but it is important that you close that chapter of your life.

[Kendahke]

Block him. You have no reason to give him entre into your life any longer.

 

Privacy Star app is very good for blocking texts and calls on your cell phone.

 

No, you don't need to explain to him that you are blocking him.

 

It's time to move forward with your boyfriend.

[Ms Darcy]

I agree you should block him. If you can't move on to a more committed mindset with your bf, you should end the relationship with him.

[DanDee]

So the general consensus is to block him and move on?

 

That probably is the best idea as I can't afford to jeopardise what I have. The past is the past and I'm looking at it through rose tinted spectacles, I think.

 

Thanks for replying.

[Ms Darcy]

Yes, I think that's the consensus.