Lying about your age...and other white lies

[JA0371]

Merry Christmas all!!!!

 

I was watching a show earlier today and the topic of people telling white lies in the dating world...one being lying about your age to land more dates, so I thought I would make it a topic here.

 

If you found out someone lied about their age ...say, within 5 Years, would it anger you or be a dealbreaker?

[Romeo November]

On the specific question of age, it would not be a dealbreaker. I do not think age has an effect on a relationship other than maybe the future decision of children.

 

On the topic of white lies, if people broke up based on white lies there would be no couples in the world.

[Moontiger]

If someone lied about something so small I would wonder what else they could/would lie about. Dealbreaker.

[goodheartlady]

5 years is not a lot - but a man who wants to have children may not want to date someone who is 40 pretending to be 35.

 

Really I think it only matters for women in their 30's and 40's: your age matters - let us get real here - to a man who wants kids eventually.

[Batya33]

It would be a dealbreaker and always was especially when the lie occurred on a dating site -then it's not a white lie -it's intentionally putting in the wrong age or birthdate. Two of my friends are involved with men who lied on their profiles -I declined to date them (one is married ,another couple dating for 5 years or so) - no regrets whatsoever.

[metrogirl]

If you have to lie about something like age, then you are clearly not happy with yourself. I've never had anyone lie about their age but they have lied about other things such as marriage, jobs, height, etc. All bad in my eyes. If you paint yourself in a bad light with a lie, then you never allowed me to what could have been good.

[JA0371]

Thanks for the responses guys!! Personally I don't think the age thing would bother me so as long as they eventually fessed up, and I didn't have to google them lol. I think lying about being married, divorced, or even having any sort of criminal history, regardless of how insignificant. I think those would be more of an issue than the age thing...

[missmarple]

I've seen it happen so often that I hardly pay attention to it anymore. I'm actually pleasantly surprised when I find out a guy has listed his real age in his profile!

[Batya33]

Thanks for the responses guys!! Personally I don't think the age thing would bother me so as long as they eventually fessed up, and I didn't have to google them lol. I think lying about being married, divorced, or even having any sort of criminal history, regardless of how insignificant. I think those would be more of an issue than the age thing...

 

To me it shows as a first impression that their values justify lying about a fact -when it comes to a dating site that is. Since I was looking for marriage I did not want someone whose values justified lying especially since quite often the justification was so that they would show up in searches of younger women. I especially found it annoying when they fessed up in the body of the profile so that they would show up in the searches and then bury the truth in a profile. A woman who decides to get involved with a man who lies like that is forewarned about other lies that likely will be told down the road.

 

I found it hard to take also because I look much younger and in my mid-late 30s I provided my exact age which meant that men who only wanted 35 and under wouldn't find me despite my looking so much younger. I made that sacrifice so that I started off relationships on the right foot.

 

I don't think white lie means "small lie" -it means a lie told for the benefit of the other person "do I look fat?" "no you don't". It's not a white lie when it's a lie about a fact (and in this case intentional and meant to mislead people). I think lying about age on a dating site with all its repercussions (misleading people, misleading search results, etc.) is a big lie.

[chr8st8na]

TBH sometimes I forget my age when someone asks me right off the bat... I have to think about it lol. But yea, it would be a dealbreaker if his false age was 5 years apart. I can understand 1 yr apart because sometimes people forget they just had a bday, but 5 years of forgetting is BS

[NorthDallas40]

I've recently gone out with two women who lied about their age (32 instead of 34, and 34 instead of 38) and I didn't mind a bit, though I told them it was silly to do it.

 

A bigger issue for me is having a woman tell me late in the game that they're married but separated, and/or have kids. I think that's something that should be put on a profile ASAP. Though full disclosure: I did continue seeing 2 women who waited to make these confessions to me until 1st & 2nd dates.

 

Funnily enough, I had this very discussion with a 44-yo female friend the other night. Though she once judged guys harshly for lying about their age, this weekend she lamented about not being contacted by guys her age, and now understood why people fudge on that point.

 

So for me, a 1-to-4 year differential is ok but making a 5+ year lie would be troublesome.

[Batya33]

It's not "fudging" on a dating site that asks for age or birthdate. It's lying.

[Batya33]

TBH sometimes I forget my age when someone asks me right off the bat... I have to think about it lol. But yea, it would be a dealbreaker if his false age was 5 years apart. I can understand 1 yr apart because sometimes people forget they just had a bday, but 5 years of forgetting is BS

 

Right -if you're asked and get flustered that is one thing -if you're filling out a profile it's almost impossible to put down the wrong age/birthdate and if it was a true error the person would correct it ASAP after noticing it.

Especially with women lying, a woman who claims to be 35 instead of 37 is basically adding 2 years to a ticking biological clock -something a guy looking to start a family should not take kindly to - it's not as serious an issue if the woman is not looking to have children but you're still faced with the fact that the woman lied off the bat.

[lavenderdove]

I am not interested in anybody who tries to manipulate or deceive me, and lies about age are both. So no, it would be a dealbreaker and make me very uneasy to learn someone had lied about age or anything else.

 

A white lie is more something done to prevent hurting someone else, as in saying, 'no, you don't look fat in that dress'. But the second a lie is about deceiving or manipulating someone else to your own advantage, it is no longer a white lie.

[Furbys]

If they can lie about something as silly as their age then goodness knows what else they can lie about. It would be a dealbreaker for me as I want a honest person.

[Capricorn3]

Liars are a dealbreaker for me. I am not interested in people who start out frendships or relationships by lying, manipulation and deceipt. Without fail, a liar almost always gets caught out, then they have to lie again to cover up the previous lie etc. If they can lie about something so small as their age, you can only imagine what else they are hiding. I am not impressed by liars.

[Kendahke]

I'd wonder what else they lied about. It would be a deal breaker for me. Eventually I'd find out their true age or whatever they lied about.

 

That's why lying is so unnecessary.