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Having a weird Christmas filled with joy and pain.


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First off Merry Christmas to you all on here. I cannot wait to start a new year and hope I can forget 2013 and move forward. I have been through enough and it seems to never end. I was in a toxic relationshipto say the least which ended for good in August with a woman who was such an evil manipulative person and no matter what I did was never good enough. She got mad at me for everything wanted coach purses and a 2 carat ring and wanted me to put gas in her car and so on. I was a fool and kept going back and was in a state of depression from her that I thought I could not live without her. We got in an argument in Pittsburgh on vacation and she left me costing me $300 for a rent a car to drive back to Chicago then filed a restraining order which thankfully was vacated and now have a no contact order till Mar 21st. I met a new girl a month later amongst my friends who is very sweet and financially respinsible and now find out she is pregnant and I am in shock. I am 36 and she is 37 We both never had kids and we are both in limbo. I have still built up anger and depression from my ex and feel that I hold a lot against my new girlfriend. I dont know what I seen in my ex she was mean and very much the classic BPD personality disorder andhe was on meds for it too. I see a therapist and have for over a year and never listned to him or others on this site. I am just lonely because I am working at the firhouse and remember last year is when I ot back with my ex this day and wish I could o back and not have done so because he destroyed me. I need to focus on my new gilfriend especially that we are having. Kid together. I am scared because she wants to get engged and married but it is to soon for me and explained this to her but she gets upset because she is school teacher and worried about her reputation. I need advice why do I ruminate bout my ex and think of herwith other guys when I have a new girlfriend who is so much better or me and I feel I am ruining it.




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sounds like things have moved forward a bit too fast for you? Not getting over your last ex yet, then this with your new one.

Sorry to hear you're in such a dilemma. This must be quite challenging, with her being prego and all at this time.

It will add some stress, for sure.

Just do your best to work with her, best you can, but, she can NOT force you into doing anything you are NOT ready for. I dont care if she wants to get engaged etc. That is really crazy. If you go doing that and things fall apart after a year, you will have even MORE stress and regrets.

No matter what, do NOT give in to her this way. It is YOUR future here too.

Fine if you want to be a responsible father, but no one says you MUST get married because of this....


Her acting out this way re her[/i] reputation? Oh well. Takes 2 to tango and now this has happened. Some birth control could have been used. Dont be suckered into a mess of marriage because it's something she wants!

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