I feel like a nobody. My self esteem has been crushed beyond repair.

[Prettygal1986]

I have not dated any guy since my breakup in 2008 with my first boyfriend, with whom i lost my virginity to when i was 24. I was devastated back then when he cheated on me. Since then i did not date any guy uptil this year in January. That is after 5 years being single. i felt i was ready for a relationship. The guy i was seeing is a colleague and only joined my workplace last year. I was very attached to him. Things were great until we started having sleeping togather. He often commented regarding the stretch marks i had on my stomach and butt. Several times following our love making, he complained about me not being 'tight enough'. We dated for 6 months and he never introduced me to his friends or families and didnt acknowledged me out in public as his girlfriend. Recently he started dating a close friend of mine ( i had no idea they liked each other when we were still dating). He has not only proposed her for marriage but also is proud to show her off to her the world and often acknowledges her as his girlfriend. She is a very beautiful girl and has a great body. He told me that if i had the athletic toned body like her and a spotless boobs and butt with no stretch marks, then maybe i would be have been good enough for him. I thought love was more deeper than this. Today i saw him and her and their family having lunch. I have never felt like crap. I gave my 100% honesty and commitment in this relationship. I never judged him. I accepted him with all his flaws. He has hurt me so much. I feel as if i am not good enough for any guy. Does being beautiful on the outside more important than what we are from the inside?

[missmarple]

WOW...you've met the boyfriend from hell!

He's so shallow that I can't believe you put up with him for 6 months..and the nerve of him to compare his new gf's body to yours...unbelievable.

Of course love is deeper than stretch marks and boobs but he never loved you..he doesn't love the new girl either. Guys like him only love themselves. By the way, I've had stretch marks since my 20s (even though I haven't had kids) and I never had a guy point them out to me and if anyone had, you can bet I would show him the door.

Don't sell yourself short, please. To people who matter and to the men who will love you (because there will be such men, I can assure you), it's not going to be about your boobs and butt and 'how tight you are'.

Oh, and I would stop contact with your 'close friend'...she can't be as close to you as you thought when she started dating your ex boyfriend without telling you about it first.

[Komal]

He sounds very shallow and immature. This friend of yours does to. It seems the guy doesnt even know the meaning of marriage when his main reason is simply physical attraction to get engaged.

He also wants to feel good about himself by showing what type of girl he can swing to his friends/family, like the girl is a commodity/possession.

 

You should be proud of yourself that you didnt let the first guy get to u. You still kept your principles even though it took you time to get past him. I know it sounds hard right now, but you will find it much easier to get past this guy.

 

Every relationship bad or good has lessens... if you yourself feel a little badly about your body... then maybe you can do things to feel more secure. like change your clothing style, workout more, change make-up. But if u like urself the way u r, no guy is worth telling u this nonsense!

[lavenderdove]

>>told me that if i had the athletic toned body like her and a spotless boobs and butt with no stretch marks, then maybe i would be have been good enough for him.

 

Don't you feel sorry for that poor girl he is dating? What a jerk! And if they do marry and have a baby, this man will be cheating on her while she's pregnant and dump her afterwards because her body will have stretch marks etc. and her boobs will deflate and sag just like any other woman who has a baby.

 

Love IS deeper than this. This guy didn't love you and was just a jerk who probably doesn't love anyone but himself if he is willing to make such crass and mean comments to women. Remember, you can give 100% to a relationship, but it is his job to give you something back, and he sounds like a selfish and obnoxious guy so he didn't have it in him to really love you as you should. And he'll be fine to this new woman until she starts to change and age and doesn't look as he desires her to.

 

So you are giving him and his comments too much power and making him your God and judge and jury. He isn't any of those. What you need to do is get out and date and not take any of them too seriously until you've dated them long enough to know whether he's a good guy is good or not.

 

And don't expect YOUR love to turn a toad into a prince. He's a toad and will stay a toad no matter how much you love him. If he's a bad guy or says mean things to you, you immediately tell him him how rude he is and if he doesn't stop, then you dump him rather than staying with a guy who is a jerk and obviously doesn't love you or anyone but himself. A guy who loves you will treat you right and would love you as you are rather than expecting you to be 'perfect' in order to please him. So don't blame love for this one! This guy was just a jerk!

[Romeo November]

It's not more important but sometimes the outside is the only thing people see.