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he said hes not interested in us anymore


brightone26

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so yesterday i found out my boyfriend of 6 months was talking to other women online. i texted him asking him about it because he didnt answer my phone call. he then replied and said he was sorry and that he should have told me the truth that he has lost interest in our relationship and that he doesnt think we are compatible.

 

he said that hes never been in a relationship this long and he doesnt know how to be a boyfriend and that ive been too good to him for him to treat me like that and hes sorry. i told him ok and have a nice life. i havent talked to him since. im not mad because i feel like its partly my fault for giving him an ultimatum at the beginning of our relationship. he never really wanted to be a official and so i basically forced him.

 

im really sad because i feel like our relationship had just started and i was really settling in to things. he was just at my house the night before and everything was fine. i just dont know what to do with him. i still want to be with him. at least as friends or how things were before we were official. i also want to know what i should do with his christmas gift. he already opened it but left it at my place. should i return it. i need help

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Go No Contact. Delete him from Facebook & social media and don't return the gift, don't call, don't text, and don't email.

 

Sure, you'll be tempted... but ask yourself what will it gain? To have him reiterate how he doesn't care anymore? You don't need that.

 

Just appreciate the time you had together and be glad that he didn't waste your time further.

 

It'll be hard, but you'll get over him. In the meantime do things for YOURSELF and spend more time with family & friends.

 

Sorry to hear you got this kind of news so close to the holidays. But make 2014 your new start WITHOUT him.

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He's over it, and it sounds like he has been for some time. Even if you feel one way, he doesn't reciprocate that and it would be pointless to try to force him to concede with your wishes.

 

You will find someone more on the same page as you. Don't feel like you have to compromise.

 

Best of luck.

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Please don't blame yourself. You wanted an exclusive relationship, he didn't. Don't compromise what you want just to be with someone. Try to recognize you are just incompatible because you want different things from a relationship. You are not to blame. Never apologize for your feelings or desires.

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I'm sorry this happened to you! I was together with my boyfriend for half a year as well, before he ended it. I was the longest relationship he had had as well. Although he wasn't as clear about why he ended it, as your ex seemed to be.

 

I agree with the No Contact. Let time heal your wounds, and remove or hide away anything that reminds you of him. "Out of sight, out of mind", as they say.

I also wanted to stay friends with my ex, but believe me, it just prolonged the healing process for me. I stayed in touch with my ex, but I should've just gone No Contact from the very beginning.

 

Focus on yourself and things that make you happy, and spend time with your friends and family, and sooner or later someone better will come along. That's what I plan on doing myself.

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Just because you have fun with someone doesn't mean the relationship has what it takes to go the distance. You wanted/were ready for a serious relationship with him, and he just wasn't interested and didn't feel the same. He sounds like he wants to just date around (and may want that for another 10 years or forever).

 

You also learned something here... if a guy is waffling and doesn't want to be official and exclusive after a couple months have passed, then that is your cue to bow out before you get too attached. That means he either isn't that into you and wants to keep his options open, or that he really doesn't like being monogamous, or he's at a point in his life where he wants to be easy and free, so his goals aren't the same as yours. No matter what your feelings for someone, if they have different goals than yours, it won't work out. So any guy you date, if you feel like you have to twist his arm to get him to acknowledge you're his GF after a couple months, is someone you don't want if what you want is a steady BF.

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