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My Ex Is Now My Neighbor...


DeliciousDee

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Okay, let me make this long story short..

 

I am 22 years old, and though I've had several relationships in which I always cared, I had never been in love... until 3 years ago. I met a man in my small, small town, he was in his 30's and was going through a divorce. We began going on dates, chatting, texting, and fell in love. We experienced a lot of trouble throughout the years but always found our way back to each other. In June of 2013, we quit talking and this time it was for good. He began dating an even younger girl, who had children by another ex of mine (real small town, seriously!) and this girl just happened to live up on the hill from my apartment. Him being my first love and us no longer speaking, hurt me pretty bad. Then seeing him daily ride by my house to go see her, hurt even worse. He continued to speak with my mom at college and would waive sometimes at me.. eventually she moved and my feelings were starting, once again, to slowly go away. Tonight, I walked on my porch to smoke, and seen her and him moving stuff into the apartment 4 doors away. I immediately was heartbroken, three years of love, hurt, pain, and tears rushed back to me (as if the holidays aren't bad enough and especially since I had been reminiscing of our last perfect night last Christmas in the apartment directly beside where they are moving, which is where my bestfriend once lived). I know it may sound silly to some people, but it is hurting me so bad. I am moving from here in a few months, but how am I going to deal with this until then. He has been the only man that I have ever been in love with and has brought me the most happiness that I have ever had, while also bringing me the most incredible hurt that I have ever felt. Any advice would be appreciated, I am majoring in Psychology and I know I should suck it up and move on, but I just cannot seem to take my own advice. Any experiences?

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I live in a small town like that! EVERYONE is someone else's ex. I know other people here who's exes live accross the street from each other. It's a tough place that you're in. My ex lives about 3 miles away and that seems waaaaaayyyy to close. We kind of divvy up the town and move about. Moving on can be a process, and it usually doesn't happen overnight. I kind of went through it for about six months before I woke up one day, and just decided to quit letting it run the show. Time is medicine> Mark your days > and swallow your pills

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Seriously? Wow, I wouldn't ever consider moving into the same apt. with an ex down the hall, no matter how nice it was!

 

I'm really sorry.. he is tactless and insensitive at best to not consider your feelings and get an apt. somewhere else. Keep in mind that you probably won't see him all that much because he won't be outside the apt. except briefly once they are moved in.

 

Remember, this is a fresh blow and surprise today, so you will get better once you process this... And you KNOW you'll be moving soon, so why not try to spend a lot of time with friends and family and away from the apt. if that upsets you. Take up a new hobby, take a class at school, do volunteer work, anything that gets you engaged with something else rather than mooning over him and feeling sorry for yourself.

 

Google 'thought stopping' and start practicing it to get him out of your head and to stop romanticizing him. You're only 22, and should be spending your time out and about meeting new men, and if your town is too small, consider moving elsewhere once you get your degree.

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