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Roller coaster of ex lobe?

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It has been awhile sense I posted so thought tonight would be a good time. She has my two kids till later tonight and the house is lonely before Christmas.


Things have been a roller coaster of emotions. I dated and married this women from 16 till now 33. Had a lot of ups and downs but man my heart aches for the people that have had this type of heartache over and over again. Lot's of things have been positive in my life got promoted and fit well with my new team, still in school, moved into my new place so the kids can come stay finding things I enjoy again, reading bible for the first time which is interesting so in lots of ways I am blessed.......


but I feel like a crazy person there are times when I am great happy funny myself then Im in the bathroom balling my eyes out praying that no one comes in as I cant stop crying. I know it is over I am trying to be okay with that and I am honestly praying for her happiness and health. Part of the pain is/was my best friend she was (sounds a little Yoda like lol) I am working on my friends and I can be a "guy" but I am into girl stuff as well lol easy to admit through the screen and I miss talking with her and the emotion connection that you get from women.


I have been spreading my love (In a good way) trying to spread joy with little and big actions to people I care about and strangers I see this has helped I dont want recognition and I am not doing it to boost my Karma but just trying to do what is in my heart. I will continue to chug along but man going from Happy to Sad to content to lonely to bored is tough and I my wish to all you out there who are struggling with this pain is happiness, joy and hope.


Should say LOVE not LOBE lol


Thanks for listening (Reading

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