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Need advice please


faithlet6

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Hi i could really do with some advice, I have been with my partner for over 2 years and I am 45, I feel i have changed so much as a person just to try and be with him, the problem is he is a very strong person who feels that he loves a lot of people and alot of people love him, he is very confident. our relationship has had its ups and downs throughout and lately he has been really distant with me, not wanting to spend time with me or taking me out with him and he just goes out without saying where he is going all the time, I work full time and he doesnt. My money goes into a joint account and i don't see much of the money cause he draws it out and puts it into his account to pay all the bills etc and for whatever he needs, the place is his and he got a friend who was a lodger, he now strongly believes that me and this lodger did something bad together which is 100 percent not the case, he has now thrown the lodger out and i am sleeping in the lodgers old room, he basically dont even like looking at me and I have been to look at a room that I am hoping to move into after xmas, my problem is I still love him so much and I keep just trying to hang on to a little bit of hope but i dont think its there anymore and i am not eating much or sleeping and don,t know what to do, how do you get over someone you love and will this emotional hurt ever go away

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hes totally disrespectful. why do you love someone who takes your money and doesn't trust you? You might love him to death but he doesn't love you and does not value you. You should move out and grow to learn how to love yourself because only you can save yourself.

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You get over them by not being in their space and not giving them any more money than what you owe in rent and utilities. He can let his fawning hordes pay his bills for him. Xmas is tomorrow and then you'll be able to concentrate on moving out and on. Once you're out of his space, the getting over him will commence in earnest and you can be about the business of moving on.

 

But seriously? No more just handing your paycheck over to him. Pay for what you use and that's it. Too bad if he doesn't have the money to go hang out---he's supposed to be working, not mooching off of you to underwrite his lifestyle.

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What is with these women who just blindly give all their money to men?? Get some self respect and tell him to take care of himself. He's a grown man for f*#ks sake. Why would you let him spend all your hard earned money and get nothing for yourself? I cannot understand this.

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Thank you for your responses and I know I suffer from low self asteem and guess that is why I handle the things the way I do but when you get told enough that you are not believed and treated this way I guess you get weaker and it seems frightening to start again

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Hi faithlet, I know how hard it is to get out of a bad situation when you feel like you have no options, especially at "our" age. But trust me you need to find the strength. You are employed full time and that's a big start. Pay attention to the advice here, especially the stuff you don't want to hear. Strength to you!

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Hi thank you lilly unfortunately things have turned worse now cause I came down to see my family and he rang me the day after and said that I am not aloud in his house, so now I cant get to work cause I do not have anywhere to stay or quite enough for the room i was gonna rent, basically he has left me with nothing

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