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confused and anxious....any answers from guys would be great


clementine26

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alright, so i'll try to keep this as brief as possible, but i want to include as many pertinent details as i can...

 

a few weeks ago, the weekend before thanksgiving, i met this guy at a bar. we really hit it off, flirting, GREAT conversation, very comfortable with him immediately. after a few hours at the bar, he came home with me. we slept together and let me tell you...AMAZING. i mean, just incredible. we had sex several times that night then again in the morning. i had to drive him home because he had been with some people that had driven the night before. on the way home, we chatted, it wasn't awkward at all really. not like it can be after a night with someone you meet at a bar. so anyway, he asked for my number and said he'd talk to me soon. well, we are both in school and finals were approaching, so i wasn't incredibly worried when i didn't hear from him for almost 2 weeks. i even thought to myself, well if i don't ever hear from him again, at least we had one incredible night. during finals week he text me just to see how i was doing, then pretty much as soon as finals were over, he text me again wanting to see me. once again, we had an incredible night together. so, now, during the winter break, he's back home out of state. he told me he was heading home 2 days after we saw each other last but he'd talk to me soon, and again, i thought honestly, if this is an occasional booty call, fine, he's hot, the sex is amazing, he's a sweet guy, easy to be around, but if he wanted more, that would be cool too.

 

here's where i start getting confused....

 

last week, i get a text from him. verbatim, he said "hey how are you? sorry i've been super busy the last week or so. and i know it's a bit delayed, but i've really enjoyed spending time with you. i'd really like to spend more time with you i replied that i'd like to spend more time with him too and he said "i'm glad, because i can't stop thinking about you" and for the next 4-5 days we text pretty much constantly. a lot of sexting, a lot of normal conversation too. i heard from him a bit less yesterday and not at all today, but it is christmas eve and he's at home with his family, so i figure that's understandable.

 

what i'm wondering is, surely he's being genuine. i mean, he already knows basically that even if i don't hear from him for 2 weeks i'll still hook up with him. so he has no real reason to go overboard with the flattery. also, he's not going to be back until around the 9th of january, so to text me that far in advance if all he's looking for is a hook up seems a little much. in our texting and phone conversations he's said a lot more that suggests he's thinking about really wanting to get to know me.

 

all this dating stuff is really new to me....i got married when i was 20 and got divorced this summer, at 26, and i've gone on a few dates and met some guys at bars and flirted. i've definitely dealt with some losers, but he really seems to be different. i hope so...

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When two people meet up, even if sex is not involved, there could be lots of texting and interactions yet nothing develops further. Just because the two of you had great sex, his texting etc doesn't mean anything. Only time will tell if he wants to see you again....and then if you keep having sex dates, you won't really know if you are simply a booty call or something more.

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I'd say just enjoy your holidays. If he texts/calls, enjoy that for what it is and don't assign more or live in the future with it.

 

On January 9, you will be able to make a far more informed decision on him and his motives. Until then, be in the now and enjoy the holidays.

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Sex puts people on a high especially guys. You are a simply booty call. Stop having feelings before you fall. Once you fall, you will fall hard. It is easy to go from thinking it's just a booty call to a relationship if it goes that way. It is harder to go from having feelings to going back to a simple booty call. Figure out if you are okay with being a booty call or you want more. You said it is okay if he wanted more. That is the wrong idea. It is about what you want. If you want to just be each other's booty call then it's okay but if you want more, stop having feelings until you know with absolute certainty. The time you know is when you don't have to question it.

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