Jump to content

Is he getting cold feet?


chr8st8na

Recommended Posts

Been talking to a great guy for almost two months. So a couple of weeks ago we agreed to finally meet up in early nxt yr n january. He was the one that was always pushing for a meetup and i was the one who wanted to take things slow . Any way-- Tonight i was asking him bout which weekend he wanted to meet up in January and he said he is not sure. He did not sound enthusiastic any more which is something i cant really b bothered by bc i did take forever to agree to get together. But what really bothered me is that last couple of weeks hes been so weird and insecure with me .. Before i elaborate his change...just want to say in the beginning he apologized for being an ugly guy (in hindsight i didnt think much of it) & At first i thot he was joking around .. Bc hes funny and ive seen pics of him (3 pics) and i dont see anything ugly - they show an above avg looking guy (and not to mention guys arent the greatest in selfies). Any way he has been saying ' im an ugly white dude' and 'i dont want u to regret liking me after u c me' - oh and then theres tonight where he says 'im afraid u r starting to like me n its making u blind' (2 his ugliness)...I told him that when he say things like that idk what to say and there was a long pause. I even reassured him im not about looks (2nd time) ... Idk a part of me thinks he is jokin- u cant b that popular with the ladies if ur that ugly right? But why the long awkward silence to my reassurances? Is it more likely he is getting cold feet bc hes afraid of 'rejection' ? Or is this just a code for 'not interested in u any more so im gonna play the ugly card?'

 

(And yes... I have thought bout maybe he jus likes talking to me n doesnt see anything romantic - but if thats the case- boy he gives me lots of mix signals! )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is hard to judge by the situation but it's a huge change in demeanor. There is no point in talking about meeting up or meeting up if both parties aren't happy about it. Consider what you want to do. I say it is time to start moving on to guy that doesn't think he's ugly. You will run into that situation again in the future especially if he has a small p and what is going to happen then? No sex?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You have to be practical when it comes to online dating. It's not your place to convince someone they're not ugly. It's not your place to convince someone to meet you if they don't want to. I would block him and move on...and next time, don't spend so long on someone without meeting them. It only builds expectations and then everything comes crashing down (I know..I've been there).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^^^ I agree!! If you have to convince him to meet, convince him he's not ugly, convince him you're into him....whaaaat a draaaaggg!! Sounds absolutely exhausting. You'll always be talking about him, him, him. And you haven't even met yet.

He's an energy pit. If it's not a turn off now, it will be soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You have pushed off meeting for months and now You are ready. Maybe he got tired of your stall tactics?

 

I think that's part of it-you took that risk -and I think he is doing his best to have you say you don't want to meet because he doesn't want to be the one to say it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This guy is obviously insecure. All his talk about how you won't like him is defense mechanism...and now it has finally gone awry. Now it's become a self fulfilling prophecy that he can't escape from. unless you want to spend the rest of your life propping this guy and making him feel better I say RUN!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Skype him before you meet him. It will give both of you a chance to see each other without the pressures of a date. And also you can back out and disappear if he IS that uglyy dude he claims to be. Mean I know but better now before you meet, than after.

 

If he says he doesnt have a camera, then he's backing out or lying about his pics cos a webcam costs like a fiver and its hardly breaking the bank.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok... Well i was so distraught yest that i was up at 2am late makin a fb acct to check out his pg. i dont like stalking so i debated it a couple of times but in the end might as well try n c his pics. And idk... He has sum great pics and then there r sum not so good ones lol ... Thats like everyone tho. I have to admit he looks great with a cap or beenie on lol... His friends n fam are on & they posts lots of nice/funny comments on his pics. I kno bc he always tell me bout them by their first names. So its him.

 

Well after reading all your posts i think ill stop contact with him and if he feels like meeting up then he can initiate it. True, i thought maybe i was holding back and now he got tired of it. But i dont see him being like that...

 

If anything his pictures show a decent to above avg looking guy... With lots of friends n fam that adores him. Doesnt sound like the typical ugly man poster to me. Then again, y do i pretend to understand men at all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There is nothing to understand about men. This individual person -a stranger for all practical purposes -has decided to focus on his looks and overshare about his looks to you, someone he's never met in person. That means this person likely has issues about his looks or he is looking for an excuse not to meet you just like you were all wishy-washy about meeting him.

no reason to be distraught (meaning I am not saying you can't feel what you feel -I'd just stop reacting to this extent to those feelings) -take this as a sign that you are ready for a healthy relationship and look for a person who you either know in real life or who wants to meet in real life ASAP. You have no idea whatsoever about him based on Facebook posts -people post all sorts of things on Facebook including the friends/family of the person with the profile. It gives you no relevant information. For all you know the name he gave you is not really his. But I wouldn't even go there -move on and find someone who is looking for the same thing you are looking for.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No its him on facebook. Hard to lie bout ur name or face to 130 guys fm the marines lol... & yes ur right. Nothing to understand (any more)... Hes having second thoughts and im wasting my time figuring out y.

 

You'd be surprised at how people can manufacture fake profiles. I agree that's beside the point -he doesn't want to meet you, at least not badly enough (and long distance relationships are hard enough without someone being wishy washy) - I'd move on and do your best to take the good stuff from this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Bat... You are right - he doesn't want to meet me any more.

 

It just dawn on me that he has met some ladies b4 (on the game we play), they flew or drove to see him (I mentioned this b4 ) I am a bit jealous that he has met almost a handful of ladies fm this stupid game we played (not to mention they swoon at him when he's on to chat) and Ive been told by one of them (she's on my team but hardly plays) he's really 'sexy' in person and his brother (who actively plays) that he's always getting chased by chicks. I think maybe he saw me as just another number but i think we ended up talking too much and too long and now he feels bad he might ruin a good friendship.

 

He's about 45 min away tops. He just texted me this morning to say happy xmas eve but i am not going to respond today or tomorrow... maybe next yr say happy nu yrs. Oh well ... moving on, i do have a hiking date set up with an old college friend when he gets back from vacation

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...