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Why do girls suddenly ignore guys after a break up?


complement

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I have a feeling I'm going to answer my own question here. Me and the lady broke up, then hung out, talked about it, said our love yous, everything seemed like it was headed back to normal then out of nowhere, texts and calls stopped being responded to. After day four I sent her an email explaining that I still love her, and that if she ever needs anything she knows where to find me. It's been about month now, haven't contacted her since or heard from her. It's weird though, she tends to like my Facebook posts and retweet my tweets, which I find a little odd considering...

 

Anyway, I'm assuming she's taken the "I've realized this isn't going to work so I need to avoid all contact until my feelings have disappeared' approach, right? Also safe to assume I did the right thing by not incessantly contacting her and leaving it at just the email? I find it annoying more than anything: after being together forever, you can't just say how you feel? Instead you have to go completely silent and leave me guessing? What's the point in that?

 

It's really funny how you can go from everything to nothing so quickly. I'm sure all of you can relate in some way.

 

Cheers and thanks for the ear (or is it eyes?)

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As you can judge by a couple of comments here, that's just how they think. Maybe overrun by emotions or something.

 

So I think you hit the nail on the head complement, they just give up / convince themselves/ others convince them it's not worth it. They are people who give up easily.

 

 

I think a LOT of people would have gotten back together if people wouldn't have given up so fast. I know that me and my ex broke up a couple of times, she gave up immediately, no contact etc.

 

But because I pushed for clarification via neutral ways (mutual friends 'asking' about how she felt), we got back together twice. Apparently there was a misunderstanding in the communication - which would not have been 'clarified' had I given up.

 

Of course, the scenario matters slightly though, but still imo not as much as the trait of 'giving up easily'.

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Dunno my friend. Personally my ex may already be in another relationship after 3.5 years and 3 weeks breakup. Could it be another guy for you? i think girls are more secrective than guys.. Im drunk and going to bed. but i have to say it's not a good sign. silence or break up, she left you (I assume), time to find a worthwhile gf....

 

Dont mean to be so harsh, but i think from sharky and mhowe's posts we all need a dose of reality. I know my gf wouldnt have left me is there was absolute passion. It's not to say you or I werent good bfs, it's just they expect more. At some point the will realize that something more doesnt exist. Maybe then they will realize we kicked ass. Im totally heatbroken, until then we find someone who does....

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It wouldn't be "over run by emotions". It would be lack of emotions.

 

I can agree with, the moment you are 'broken up' they act super cold in your presence - asif trying to hide their emotions.

But I know that in my case atleast twice, it was just a mask.

 

By the way, mhowe, does that mean you don't even get emotional the moment you break up? Just curious.

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In a couple of cases with me they just broke up very quickly, coldly, and just ran away. They never talked to me. Acted very, very cold, mean, angry, etc. Would never ever see me in person, or talk on the phone. Would only text or email. Kept it as impersonal as they could. Although I could see they still loved me and had very strong feelings for me they just did their best to put a wall up from me.

 

Whatever these girls/women tell themselves in their head it's usually not how things really were. They just seemed to make things that were not there to justify their decision and then they both projected whatever they were going through and dealing with themselves on me. They both never had a real and specific reason. just gave a lot of "things".

 

To this day I have no idea what or why things happened. It's really sad that they feel like they need to treat you awful to make you go away. It does not have to be that way and whatever it was it really could have been worked out if they would have just talked. Instead they just closed themselves off from me and gave up.

 

So try to not let it bother you. Whatever they are dealing with it's their issue. There is nothing you can do if they just want to burn the bridge like that with you. They do not realize how much damage they are doing to having anything to do with us later on down the line... It's a maturity thing I believe...

 

I hope you feel better...

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  • 2 weeks later...

my ex seems to be the same way, with breaking up when there is a bump in the road or something and never wanting to talk or work things out first, she just runs away...when shes in a bad mood, she doesn't like to talk much so she bottles herself up and doesn't open up...just 2 weeks ago like a bunch of people on here already know, my ex texted me out of the blue after a month of NC, we've broken up 4 times and this was her first time initiating contact with me since we last broke up 9 months ago, otherwise it was me doing all the initiating...she basically texted me because she was just having one of those days apparently where she was missing me more than usual and didn't care if she was breaking NC or whatever so she texted me, we ended up agreeing to a new, slower approach to potentially try a relationship again, everything was great for a few days, taking it slow, talking like we used to, happy about it, then 2 days later she tells me her "mom gave her pointers that we'd just be making it worse for ourselves in the long run" and it made her change her mind i guess, then she just told me good luck with everything and left me hanging, no sorry, no more explanation, nothing...texted her a few times after that, she wouldn't respond so i facebook messaged her asking her why she was just not responding to what i was trying to say anymore and she just went "better that way Anthony! Bye"...then i asked her if it was because she didn't care and she just went "comeeee on" and that was that...that response pissed me off because she made it seem like "no, its not because i don't care, seriously?" but her actions and the way she was going about it just seemed like she didn't care and like it was nothing, like she didn't just text 3 days earlier missing the hell out of me....the girl means the world to me and we had something special, but i still can not understand why she goes about things the way she does or why she treats me the way she does sometimes or how she can go from one extreme to the next no big deal...and quite honestly, i'm exhausted...tired of trying to figure her out and why she acts and does what she does...i guess it's mostly just an emotional thing with woman, but with me ex, i think it's also an immaturity thing as well...and she just doesn't know how to get a good grasp on her emotions either...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Juha, your post rings true.

 

Thatdevilsblue, that is exactly what I mean.

They have made up their mind by talking to everyone BUT the one that matters most in that situation (their 'partner'). And then decide it's best to cut contact because everyone else says there is no way to deal with it.

In your case their doesn't even seem to be anyone else either. I really feel for you and it pisses me off just reading it

 

Perhaps they will never learn that you should be talking to the person you have feelings for, instead of talking to people ABOUT the person you have feelings for.

And yes, I agree her reply "comeeeeee on" sounds like she does have feelings for you. Which she is just surpressing because she thinks it is best. Sucks man =(

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