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7 months pregnant and confused


n33lloc

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First timer..Bare with me.

 

First of all, i have done my fair share in hurting my ex. From talking to exes to breaking up with him and then coming back a week or two later. so i am sure what is happening to me right now is Karma.

 

But i am currently 7 months pregnant with his son. Things were going really good after i got pregnant, we were both looking forward to having our own child. ( I have a five year old daughter that calls him step-daddy)

when i was 5 months a new girl started at his work. Now every since he has worked there he will tell me how hot a girl is and so on, of course i got a little jealous but i knew he wouldn't do anything. but this one is different. She is 18 and he told me that he can really talk to her, that she is real (he is 27). I was not happy that he was forming a emotional connection with this girl and told him about my feelings. He kept telling me i was being jealous and insecure. So i tried to let it go. when i became 6 months, he started going out with friends, partying and spending less time with me. Which is completely unlike him since the whole time we were together (1 year) he didn't do this, he is more of a homebody. and when he did go out, we went out together. I confront him about goin out and ditching me and he tells me he is getting it out of his system before our son gets here. This was really hard for me to except since i can not do this and he doesn't want me to go out with him. One night i got to his house around 11 after i went to play pool with a friend. He as sleeping and i started kissing him to wake him up and he says Krysten?Krtsten? (the 18 year olds nme) and i was livid. It was like he was use to her kissing him. I through the first thing i could find at him (a drink) and called him a cheating bastard. he came after me and started to choke me, i choked him back. He through me on the bed and when he did i scratched his neck. To this day he swears i attacked him. I came back later that night (about 2 am) and we talked and said we would work things out. The next day he breaks up with me. Since then i have done everything your not supposed to do. I begged, called multiple of times...EVERYTHING. Nothing was working. Now we are friends and spend one to to days out of the week together. He is dating the 18 year old. But she has a boyfriend an he is getting upset that she wont leave him. They are starting to fight which i am so happy about. I know that she is means nothing to him, that this is just a rebound to get over the hurt of us.

I know that ya'll probable think i'm stupid for wanting to be with him. But i do love him and it makes it harder when your pregnant.

 

My question is, 1) Is it in my favor that they are fighting?2) Will she leave her boyfriend for him? 3) Will he come to his senses when my son is born?

 

BTW he says he is not in love with me anymore, but his eyes still light up like they always have when we are spending time together. He still calls me baby an tells me he loves. I stay they night at his house. He got me and my daughter a Christmas present and we have been broken up for a month. We still have sex and when we are together he still treats me like we are together. We still talk about our future together. He keeps telling me that e might get back together, that he doesn't know what the future holds.

I know most of ya'll are going to say to do No Contact, but again, that is super hard when your pregnant.

Advice??

 

I would also like to add that i have calmed down in this last month. I do not call or text him, i only do when it is make sure we still on for hanging out. Other that I am giving him his space. I am dating other people and moving on, and the break up does not hurt as much as it did. But i do still want him back.

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You are better off being separated. Infidelity, mutual abuse, really? When you are pregnant, to boot? Are you even thinking about the baby inside you, what if that turned far more dangerous than it did? Everyone here has commitments they don't value at all.

 

I think you should worry more about you coming to your own senses. You're already a mother, and now you will have another dependent and helpless tiny human to care for. Get it together.

 

I know most of ya'll are going to say to do No Contact, but again, that is super hard when your pregnant.

 

It's actually not. You can have limited contact, only pertaining to issues surrounding your child.

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I agree with the abuse and coming to my own senses. Which is what i am trying to do. And yes i am thinking about my unborn. I already have a daughter who's father is not in her life an she cries herself to sleep at night. I don't want this one to go through this as well. But i do understand what you are saying. My mom has told me the same thing.

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You don't need to be with him for him to be involved. An interested parent will be involved no matter what. Even if it has to be where a couple does their exchanges in a police station or third parties do it, and all contact is in email - Really, for every problem there is a solution.

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I agree with the abuse and coming to my own senses. Which is what i am trying to do. And yes i am thinking about my unborn. I already have a daughter who's father is not in her life an she cries herself to sleep at night. I don't want this one to go through this as well. But i do understand what you are saying. My mom has told me the same thing.

 

I think you need to commit yourself to not bringing another baby into the world when you are unmarried and confident you are in a healthy relationship. It's sad to see that for the child.

 

In terms of this relationship, it's over. It's just a fwb thing. It was not a healthy relationship to begin with - due to abuse and cheating. Your best bet is to cut him out of your life personally and only talk to him about the baby.

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I think you need to commit yourself to not bringing another baby into the world when you are unmarried and confident you are in a healthy relationship.

 

Trust me that was my plan. When we found out i was pregnant, we sat down and started to talk about our future and doing things the right way. Then all of the sudden things changed. I didn't want another child under these circumstances, but it is a little to late for that.

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You have a baby growing inside you. This man attached you and cheated on you-then slept with you.

 

Are you aware that an STD could cause deformities or a serious illness to your baby? Even a miscarriage or still birth. Plus he could have harmed the baby that night!

 

Both of you are emotionally dysfunctional and have caused a lot of damage to each other. This whole relationship has been a whopping mess but you need to put your baby first

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So he's cheating on you with an 18-year-old girl who's a cheater herself. And he got physically abusive with you when you were carrying his unborn child? You do know this man is no prize and yes, you now will have two different guys who won't be in their kids lives. I just hope you're taking both these losers to court for child support, but really why on earth do you let him have access to you in any way, shape or form when he's f-ing someone else? Who has a boyfriend she won't leave. Yeah, they're fighting, so what. You both are too and yet he's still more than happy to take advantage and lay his hands on you when he gets mad. And you haven't left him, so what makes you think she will either or that he'll leave either of you for the other? He's got it made, two women who will put up with his abusive cheating butt. Just perfect, I really don't get why anyone thinks people like him are a prize. I really don't.

 

If I were your mother I'd have pressed charges against him for laying hands on my pregnant daughter then hauled you off to speak to an attorney to make sure he pays child support abd make sure the courts know he's an abuser so he only has supervised visits with his kid. Because my prediction is if he raises a hand to a pregnant woman then a kid will be nothing to him abusing either. And maybe see about getting some sort of counseling for why you let yourself get pregnant by men who are not relationship material to begin with. The moment he started talking about how hot women at work were you should've kicked him to the curb.

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*UPDATE* So i am done with this guy. Paris is right, he is screwing both of us, and im not going to allow it to happen to me. I cam to a decision to tell her boyfriend that she is cheating on him with m ex. I know this might seem like im not moving on, but i knew before i did it that it would not help at all with m and my ex getting back together. Therefore, i am accepting that he is a douchebag and letting them deal with the mess that they created. But i really felt that her boyfriend deserved to know rather than be played like a fool.

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