Natalie1987xx Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 I was just wondering what people do too try and handle a break up.. 10 years together and the 4th time hes cheated so I cucked him out!! In my head I know its the right thing too do my heart is wanting him too get in touch!! But . Could never trust him again?!? But then he took me back 5years ago when I cheated.. Im so confused of what to do... ive cut all contact but we have a 7year old daughter which hes not been in touch too speak too her.. Last time we split he didnt see her for 2 months n whaen getting back together he said it was too hard for him too c n leave her so its easy for him not too see her... I know im making excuses for him... Im not even sure if I love him Im just so angry!! But I feel like a hypercrite?? Any avice would be greatful xxx Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 The way he treats his daughter tells you all you need to know about the type of man he is. No you aren't a hypocrite. You have just been fooled for way too long. Good of you to end it. Link to comment
Kendahke Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Your daughter is a completely separate issue from your relationship and his excuse is triflin' at best. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Agree with Edmund Exley on this one. Make sure you go to court to get child support for your daughter, if need be court-ordered visitation and other than that let him go. So you cheated once and he took you back, but he's cheated four times and just did it again? Uh, I think you've more than paid back any perceived "debt" to him. If you want a cheater then there you go, but if you don't tell him goodbye. He won't ever be a good partner. Just go to court to make sure he does fulfill his obligations whether he wants to or not. Also this guide on how to maintain No Contact when you have kids can help you maintain distance enough to heal even though you have to see him when he visits your daughter. link removed I'm sorry you're going through this, but four times already just means there are four more times and more coming if you keep taking him back. Going NC and healing while making sure your daughter's rights are protected is really the way to go in healing and moving past this. Good luck. Link to comment
Kimcwell Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 I agree with the above posters. Once you cut him out of your life, work through the pain and regain your self-confidence, you'll ask yourself what took you so long to end it! I know this from experience and we have 2 kids together. Good luck. Link to comment
Natalie1987xx Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 i know everything your saying is right and the other posters ... im just indenial i think, i know hes horrible and its wrong what hes done .. but i suppose i dont want too be a broken family. and the way hes been its enough too drive any1 away.. Link to comment
Natalie1987xx Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 how did u get on with trying too move on with nc and him seeing the kids? x Link to comment
Kendahke Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 i know everything your saying is right and the other posters ... im just indenial i think, i know hes horrible and its wrong what hes done .. but i suppose i dont want too be a broken family. and the way hes been its enough too drive any1 away.. My dear, your family was broken the first time he cheated. He has consistently shown a callousness towards the esteem of his family; specifically, his own flesh and blood child. He is telling you that his nut is more important than his child's emotional and familial security. Think on that for a moment. 4 times he has shown utter disregard for her and you. You are grown, but she is a child who does not deserve this kind of dismissal. She deserves a father who knows how to keep his johnson in his trousers and keep his eyes off of other women: so do you. One day, you will put yourself and your daughter into a position of priority and do what needs to be done to assure both of you of a stable and happy home. He has smashed your home into a million fragments over and over again, so please stop lying to yourself that this man is the only person who can give both you and your child a happy family. Not someone who has no qualms about willfully breaking it 4 times over already. Link to comment
Kendahke Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 how did u get on with trying too move on with nc and him seeing the kids? x You have to put him into a compartment in your heart where you regard dealings with him in a business like fashion. You cannot assign any feelings of love, yearning, wanting or anything like that to him because he doesn't want that with you. He wants to screw with impunity whoever comes accross his path. In order to do that, he should not be rewarded with a family life because that is not how a real father behaves. There is no room for gray areas with him. Treat with him in black/white terms. Make up your mind to put yourself and your daughter first in all of your considerations and he and his needs fall in behind that or whatever else you choose to put first on your priority list. Link to comment
Natalie1987xx Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 So do you think everything ove done is right? No contact deleted him of social network sites and all his family and ive not spoken too him the day I kicked him out... And im not gonna contact him regarding our daughter im not gonna use her as weapon nor force her on too him... The starngest thing is shes not bothered not asked ive told her whats happened n she shrugged her shoulders... And everyhthing your saying is true but I think its nice when some1 else tells you not a friend or family member.... you have really opened my eyes I cant thankyou enough xxx Link to comment
Natalie1987xx Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 How did u handle it with having kids together xx Link to comment
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