He wants more space, I don't know how to give it...

[smackie9]

What you should do is tell him 'leave me the hell alone'.

 

This /\ /\ /\ is the best advice you could ever get.

[melanie6929]

I am sure he will try to contact you. Do NOT respond to anything he has to say. It will most likely be lies. You have the power now - own it.

[Ms Darcy]

Do not take his calls. Best thing to do is to let him go.

[Dobsd]

The next day we had a big, very long talk and decided to give it another go. On the 29th, he went away to spend new year with his friend (a gay female who he is spending 5 days travelling/sleeping in a campervan with). He spent two days camping on his own before he met up with her on the 31st. We had (mostly him) said that he should go alone so we can have some alone time. I had made it clear to him I didn't want to be without him for NYE. He went anyway. On his way there he called and said "should you come? I'm not sure?". I told him that if he felt like he needed time alone, then I shouldn't come.

It is NYE tonight and I went out with four friends (two couples). I didn't want to be awkward so went to the toilet at midnight so the couples could do their thing. He text me about 12.15 to say happy new year. About 12.30 I went home but couldn't find a taxi. I tried to call him but no answer, he called back five mins later and I told him I was going home. He said to call him when I got home. Couldn't find a taxi so walked an hour to get home and he called me ten mins after I got in. He could tell I was upset and I told him I was sad to be alone for new year. He said 'not to be like that' and that he had called because he cared. I said "if you cared, you would be here". He said again not to be like that and that he would speak to me tomorrow.

 

Am I being irrational? Is he right that this is all ok?

[missmarple]

Well, it's obvious that you're not going to leave this guy whatever he does. Good luck with that.

[smackie9]

Sorry but the writing is on the wall hun. The only way to change things is to end this relationship and find someone who meets your expectations. You are wasting your time with this guy.

 

If it were me I would have told him to take a long walk of a short pier......

[shelty24]

How do you know for sure this female is gay??

 

You need to have more self respect. Right now he is dangling you on a string like a puppet and he has all the power and control. You are officially becoming his d-mat and he is enjoying watching you squirm.

 

Relationships should never be this hard. Ive been with my bf a long time-never had any "space". When someone truly loves you they do not want to go a day without you.

[Ms Darcy]

You had a long talk so you could go back to your nothing relationship. Oh well ... we tried.

[smackie9]

She loves him! That's gotta mean something! *roll eyes*

[shelty24]

Well sometimes you gotta love yourself more.. but she will learn that the hard way...

[toby17]

Wow, so much for not speaking to him until after New Years. You went for a short term gain instead of playing the long game.

 

He doesn't respect you. He's got the power in the relationship and you're desperate. There's little we can tell you to do. You'll keep running after him until he finally leaves you and then you'll be heartbroken.

 

I told you what I thought you should do - get as far away from the problem as possible (ie go back to England) but your response was you wouldn't leave NZ.

 

You need to wake up to reality - your boyf didn't even spend NYE with you! (And you know you doubt whether this girl is really gay.)

 

"It doesn't matter when your dignity kicks in, so long as it does."