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First of all, sorry for my poor english.

I dated 3,5 years with a guy 6 years older than me. It was a long distance relationship, all began with a casual conversation on messenger and after a year, we decided to be together personally.

We started dating and everything was going well. I did everything for him and to be together. He was my first boyfriend, my first everything. I traveled alone to be with him, woke up in the night to talk to him by phone, I was always caring like my world revolved around him.

He initially told me he suffered a lot in past relationships .... said he had a girlfriend who left him to be single. He asked me to never leave him and he promised the same.

 

Well, 3 months ago he dumped me for someone else...Told me he can't handle distance anymore and wants a relationship with someone from his city...It's so ironic, because he always condemn those who took these decisions.

I think everyday about this...How can people be so cold and engage in a new relationship, forgetting the person who has always been on their side? I hate him so much right now and dont know if I can love and trust someone again.

 

I'm very inexperienced when it comes to relationships so I'd like to know your opinion.

Periodically, he sends me a text message or an email saying he misses talking to me and asked me if I was okay (I did not answer him for 1 month). Do you think I should answer him? What is the best way to create an impact on someone's feelings? If I am friendly and answer it, I'll just put myself in the position of friend, right?I know that everything is variable depending on the person, but in general what is the best approach (in your opinion)?

 

Thank you and Merry Christmas

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No you should just back away from him. You know he may have seemed cold, but it took a lot for him to end things with you. With LDRs, the risks are high. Most of the time it gets to a point that the arrangement just isn't enough, or doesn't suit their life anymore. What happened was going to eventually happen. Here's a tip for a noobie: at the beginning of a relationship things are new, exciting, and intense. This is called the honeymoon stage of a relationship, where you are so obsessed with each other you overlook the small things that can turn into an issue, which they do down the road. During this time, everyone talks about being together forever, marriage, naming their kids etc....it's just talk and should never be taken as promises. Anyways he is still feels an emotional connection with you, that's why he reaches out, for your own sanity you nee to let go, block his number, emails, and delete FB, and just move on. It may have been a bad experience for you, but all in all it's good that you got to have it, and learn from it. This is what helps you build better relationships in the future.

 

I recommend you date locally and stay away from LDR's. You will have a more rewarding and happier experience having someone more available to you. Bets of luck.

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wish him a merry xmas Don't focus on him anymore, u'll see that in time u'll forget about the whole thing and u'll feel better. Everything u may wanna do now is aimed to hurt him??? or to make him feel guilty about leaving u???

 

He sent me today an email "wishing a merry xmas to everyone" (I suppose he sent this email to everyone he knows...lol

Yes, I feel so angry. I don't know if this is normal, but I just want to argue with him, and say everything bad he did to me

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I wouldn't send him anything but if you want to reply then go ahead. LDR are hard because in the long run someone has to move. You are younger than he is and chances are you would not of moved and I don't think he would of either. Being there physically is a big part to make a relationship work.

You have to throw away everything he said in the past about how he is okay with the LDR or he wouldn't look for anyone else. I think he liked you and cares for you and I am sure he misses you and wishes that you were there for him, but you are not there physically and sometimes we need that physical touch along with the interaction.

Its not your fault and you did nothing wrong, its how life goes sometimes that's all.

You are free to date anyone you want in your home town. No one said you cant be happy too. This is painful I know and its hard on you. This is a good thing because you have a chance to meet someone wonderful that you can be with physically and see him every day. If you were still with him in this LDR you could of spent years waiting for him and missed out on a lot.

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Thank you for your reply

I think about this everyday...today I feel very anxious

I hope I will be able to fall in love again.

 

Oh dear you most certainly will. We all have had to kick a lot of tires to find on that will work for us. (or kiss a lot of frogs) lol

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Oh dear you most certainly will. We all have had to kick a lot of tires to find on that will work for us. (or kiss a lot of frogs) lol

 

LOL

I trusted him a lot so it hurts more. He tries to keep in touch and wants to be my friend ...it becomes harder to forget

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Dont think like that because its not true. You cant just forget someone after 3.5years even if you meet someone new. He does think about you and he will send you an email from time to time saying hi. However it wont change the fact that you two are in different spots of the world.

You do matter to him, the only thing is that he is giving his attention to someone else. You are important to him.

It was not your fault and nothing short of moving to his city would of helped, and moving to a new city isnt a certainty you would be with him. You have to trust that this is the best for you because now you are free to meet someone better and who is in your home town. Imagine, you being happy and able to hold hands with not just wishing it via skype

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One week before asking me a time to think, he told me he loved me and asked me to never forget him ... Later, he ended our relationship.

That is, despite having another person in sight, he declared his love for me... this makes me so upset

 

 

I want to thank all the people who try to transmit their knowledge and life experience to help others who are going through a troubled phase.

I didnt know this site, and now I see so many threads here of people feel equally shattered. When something like this happens to us, we always think we are the only ones to feel down, and that our situation is the worst.

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