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Lieing about dancing...


wanderlusion

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She went out one night to a club with her friend for her bday to a club. I didn't go bc I wanted to stay in. I thought that she wouldn't do anything. I seen her the same night after. Next day I went out to eat and I cross paths randomly with her friend. Me and her are friends too. I ask her if my girlfriend at the time danced with anyone and she said yeah and that they grinded and stuff. She tried to keep it secret but she told me. Then I ask my gf if she danced with anyone and she says no and kept denying.

 

I know for me I could always be faithful. I looked up this situation and this is always happening. Why not just faithful when its easy for me? They would be so hurt if I did the same.. I care so I don't because I know that's what they want I bc I do care.

 

Why would someone lie? I feel like I'd rather be hurt with the truth than nursed with a lie because I could still have a little trust in you knowing that your not a liar.

 

Is it just human to lie and make mistakes and that you should you still be with someone? To just forgive...?

 

All I wanted was an apology and the truth straight away but she kept getting mad at me whenever I asked. She made me feel like it was something I did and I felt sorry for asking. She finally did tell me the truth after so much time..

 

Would you forgive her if you do love her a lot? She always comes to me but I'm stuck in limbo on wanting to actually be together again.. This bothered me so much.

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It comes down to you. Personally I wouldn't. For the same reasons you said. If I did the same, the person who's with me would probably be hurt. You asked asked and she denied. Who know what else is she lying about?

 

I would not. But that's me.

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I personally would have a hard time trusting someone who acted inappropriately with someone else and then lied to me about it.

 

What's worse to me is that when you tell her that you KNOW what she did, she continues to deny it.... which is what cheaters do, they just continue to deny even after you've found them out. To me, that just shows a lack of integrity and maturity. I wouldn't trust this girl.

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To get at the truth, get both of them together and tell your girlfriend that her/your friend told him she was grinding on guys. The truth will tumble out between the two of them.

 

That is how you get to the bottom of a lie.

 

Dancing with a guy isn't cheating or being unfaithful. It's dancing. It may be construed as inappropriate the way in which she was dancing, but it was not screwing, it was not being emotionally intimate with them or confessing undying love to them. It was dancing.

 

You didn't want to go. Did you feel that because you didn't want to go, that she should have not have wanted to, either? Is that what this is about?

 

But the thing that's sticking out like a sore thumb to me is you saying "this is always happening". Well, if it's always happening, then guess what? Your girlfriend isn't interested in the same kind of relationship you are. She wants to be a free spirit and do what she wants to do when the fancy strikes her. You either accept that about her and remain with her or you dont' and you bounce. But she sounds as if she has no interest in being the kind of girlfriend you seem to need---and knowing that, coupled with the fact that this "always is happening", then it's incumbent upon YOU to make a change here. She isn't required to change herself if she doesn't want to. It's up to you to remove your person from close proximity to that which is disappointing you and causing you this much emotional duress.

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All I wanted was an apology and the truth straight away but she kept getting mad at me whenever I asked. She made me feel like it was something I did and I felt sorry for asking. She finally did tell me the truth after so much time..

 

Would you forgive her if you do love her a lot? She always comes to me but I'm stuck in limbo on wanting to actually be together again.. This bothered me so much.

 

I kinda feel like this is an odd situation. Why would you start off with asking her friend about her behavior? Why not ask her? It sounds like you didn't trust her to begin with. If this is an on-going issue, she may have lied fearing your reaction. That doesn't make it ok but it may kill the theory that she was cheating.

 

I just find your behavior a little untrusting. If you don't trust her, you shouldn't be in a relationship with her.

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