Jump to content

apology after bad break up?


kindalost

Recommended Posts

Hi all,

 

About three weeks ago, I decided to completely call it quits with a gal that I had been seeing for three months. We were not exactly sure what we wanted or where we expected the relationship to go and were, for the most part, just having fun. I was growing slightly attached, but after the third month I got the "let's split up but still be friends" talk. I was honestly really bummed by this, realizing that she just wasn't into it anymore and did what I thought was my best to move on.

 

Later that week, she wanted to meet up for drinks and I ended up telling her that being friends just didn't seem like it would work and that we would best off completely going our separate ways. Needless to say, we parted with her being pretty upset.

 

Flash forward three weeks later and my conscience is getting the better of me. I reached out (email) to see how she was doing and had the intention of apologizing, but received a reply telling me how hurt she was and that she's no longer interested in being friends.

 

Part of me wants to just leave it be, let it go and move on... but another part wants to apologize and let her know that I could've gone about it much differently to avoid this pain.

 

Your thoughts, please?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You shouldn't feel bad for being honest with her...she should have respected and understood your decision to not be friends. It goes to show you she is a selfish person, and only thinks about her own feelings. So drop the guilt, you did nothing wrong, you don't owe her anything. There is no point in contacting her again, just leave her be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

you know i don't think asking for friendship is always selfish.... yes, it can be sometimes, but it can also be the case that friendship is what a person can offer, that there is no chemistry but no hard feelings either, that the 'dumper' doesn't want to cut people off....

i'm sure some have selfish reasons, but i just don't think it's a generalization....

doesn't mean you have to be friends, of course not, but it also doesn't necessarily mean you should think the worst of everyone....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well true, i see what you mean - like once the offer of being just friends was found to be impossible, then she should've just understood....

 

i guess i take it a bit personally cos i've tried so hard to be just friends, and really hope i haven't been hurting the other person by being selfish.....

 

I agree with you Chiquta. It's not inherently selfish. I have one male friend who used to be interested, but I wasn't. However, if he had let me know he couldn't be friends I would just gracefully walk away. Not walking away would be immature.

 

I felt no connection, but we had stuff in common and he is a sweet person. Generalizing is too simplistic.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks all for the replies. I feel that its a bit of selfishness from both sides, but at this point, I have no doubt that its best just to walk away and learn from it. I see no benefit for either of us in bringing this up any further.

 

Thanks again!

 

Glad to hear it! I think you are making the right call!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...