I have feelings for my best friend's brother please help.?!

[Ksjmc]

Hi, i don't really know how to start... My best friend is like a sister to me- we have been friends since 5th grade, and now we're in college! She has been the only one who has been there for me 100% of the time. And i have always been there for her too. I get along very well with her brother and sister.. But i have recently been thinking about her brother alot- and a mutual friend of ours told me today that he has feelings for me but he doesn't know what to do because I'm best friends with his little sister and he is sure that i would reject him because of it and that might mess up our friendship.. He's a really great guy, he's funny, smart, and respectful and i have always felt like he treats me a special kind of way.. I feel like i need to sit down with my friend and tell her everything, because she can tell something is up- she already asked me if i'm OK.. i know that when i tell her, she will probably not take it too well. She's gonna feel like it's a bad move on my part. I need advise, please tell me what i should do!! What would you do if this was your situation??

[smackie9]

If you are a wonderful supportive friend to her, why would she object to you dating her brother? You are all adults, so you can date anyone you want. Why should she be able to dictate who you date? If she objects then that would mean she doesn't find you worthy of her brother....that would really say something about how she truly feels about you.

 

Just tell her you and her brother have feelings for each other and might have an interest in pursuing a relationship. Assure her nothing has happened yet, but that you felt it was the proper thing to do by letting her know. If she loves you like a sister I can't see why she would object.

[Lonewing]

She may not want to know a thing about her brother's love life, though...I could see how it might be too close for her. Then again, she could be a great sister in law...unless you and her break up someday...

[missmarple]

I don't have a brother but if I did, I wouldn't mind at all if he got involved with a good friend of mine. Talk to her.

[Clio]

Talk to her. Ask her what she thinks about it. Right now you are only guessing. You don't really know what she thinks. Personally, the only time I would disapprove of such a relationship would be if I felt that one of two parties (brother or best friend) was reckless in relationships and would hurt the other. Even then, I would support whatever decision they made because at the end of the day, it is THEIR life, THEIR choice.

[toby17]

You sound like you're getting all anxious about the fact that you may or may not be able to go out with you bf's brother. But this is just one guy. If she doesn't like the idea and you want to stay friends then accept that he's off the table. If she's okay with it, then only maybe will you hook up - there are no guarantees.

 

The next time he's around the 2 of you, say something nonchalantly like "I think I'd totally be into Matt if he wasn't your brother" and gauge her reaction. But the most important thing to remember is, this isn't the only guy in the world - he's not 'your soulmate'!

 

If she doesn't like the idea, move on and find some other guy to crush on.

 

(Btw: I wouldn't blindly trust your mutual friend's "information".)