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We broke up a year ago why does ex still wanna keep contact?


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I broke up with my ex a year ago though the relationship was already in trouble at the time coz I believed she had started loosing interest as well. Weeks after the break up she told me that she still loved me, but I decided to remain friends and she took it well and appeared fine with it. 3 months later she asked to meet we did and mostly talked about how we were doing. Weeks later she asked to meet again to talk about us. We did and she said that she wanted us to be friends which was weird coz we were friends already and I never said I wanted her back after talking we realized that we both wasn't sure of our feelings to each other and decide to just leave it to destiny.

 

Fast forward months that followed my feelings for her came back and I wanted her back but did not come out and told her but I guess actions speak louder then words coz I tried to maintain contact, she even invited me for dinner twice but I could not attend. After that we had a little argument we both said stupid things I even deleted her on my facebook. I felt stupid apologies which she accepted and decided to put it behind us. So I asked to meet her she told me that she would get back to me which she did after a week but by then I decided to move on and stop thinking about getting her back so I did not answer her call. What made me change my mind is that I admit I was initiating must of the contacts but she was always there to reply then things started changing I noticed that her behavior had changed she was a bit rude at times and would answer harshly to me teasing her on like before so I believed that she had moved on.

 

Weeks later she contacted me saying that she was going back to her country for 2 weeks coz her grandfather was sick, I ignored, few days later she contacted me again saying that she was at the airport coz her grandfather had finally died, so I offered my condolences. She replied saying that she was feeling something strange on me asking why I did not pick her call and said that she missed me a little and was hoping to see me when she's back. I did not reply coz at the time I was trying to move on, then weeks later she contacted me saying that I had shown her that I did not want to know anything about her and thanked me.

 

After few weeks when I felt I was now strong enough I contacted her to see how she was then she asked to meet me for coffe to update each other I told her I would get back to her coz I was busy at the time. I ended up not contacting her. The last time I contacted her was 4 months ago on her birthday to wish her a happy birthday I was not expecting any reply and she didn't. I believe by now that she had moved on and is in another relationship coz she is extremely pretty, so I wasn't expecting any of us to initiate contact and believed she had forgotten about me until 3 days ago she sent me a request on Facebook and a message saying that she had not heard any news about me for a long time asking how I was, and saying that at the time she had just landed and arrived from Thailand had an amazing experience and hoped everything was fine with me.

 

I accepted her request and replied nicely and briefly, she replied again but I left it like that. Any ways am curious about why is she contacting me after so long to tell me that she had just arrived from her trip and why does it seem like every time she feels she is loosing me from her life she creeps her way back in. With her previous boyfriends before me she had never done that in fact she has never been bothered about how they were, talking of telling them what she has been up to

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Could be a number of reasons.

1) bored

2) to keep tabs on you

3) keeping you on backburner, just in case...

 

When a relationship falls apart.. it can be hard to totally 'let go' for a while,, so they keep tagging along until it's okay for them to let go.

But by sounds of it, what she's doing by sending little small texts etc, is called 'breadcrumbs' (little nothings).

At this point, I suggest you just leave it all alone. Because unless or until she actually admits she wants to be back together (if this is what you want..?), then everything else means nothing- so don't bother replying anymore.

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This is what happens when you stay friends with ex's. You get confused, you want more, then you ignore and the other pushes then she ignores and you push.

 

Do yourself and her a big favor and cut the games and just block and delete her so that neither of you can do this 'dance' you've been doing that keeps you stagnated from actually moving on and being able to find someone that you won't play games with because you actually love them. No new woman in your life is going to like the fact you're still in contact with an ex lover ~ even if you rarely see her. So end it all now so you can start fresh with someone new who won't confuse you and you her.

 

Good luck.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It sounds like a game rather than a relationship. All of the post are similar these days and the age group is usually teens to early late 20s. I don't understand the no contact unless you really are doing no contact. If you keep getting back in touch, but then cancel plans or decide to not call the same day, it's childish and neither one of you are ready for any type of relationship/reconciliation of any sort. I don't even know how to give the advise you asking for because both of you are so up and down, it's like a untuned guitar. I would start off by apologizing to her for not calling her back after asking you out and hopefully she opens up and apologizes too. The reason she got distant is because you grew distant. You got back in touch with her just as much as she did you. I wish you luck....Having a honest open conversation is what you two need to do, otherwise, just go NC for permanent.

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