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Want to have a proper goodbye


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I feel that i have moved on. I am now dating a new guy which is much better than my ex. I've been Nc from my ex for 39 days. I no longer want to get back with him, i dont dream about him anymore, i dont like him anymore and i will never like him again. I feel like we're total strangers now. Altho im a dumpee, right now i feel like i have dumped him as well. I really dont want to get back with him.

 

But sometimes i feel sad that we didnt get to say goodbye to each other. Our last conversation ended in a fight. I want to know what happened to him after the break up. Im just curious. I feel like it's an unfinished business.

 

Is it so bad to want to have one final conversation? Just to say goodbye properly and to stop wondering what happened to him?

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Yeah, don't contact him. It may dredge up feelings you don't want to feel again, and you may not get the closure you're looking for anyway. Besides, does it really make sense to get together with someone just to say goodbye? And how do you think your current bf would feel about this? The risks far outweigh the potential benefits here. Don't do it.

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It's obvious you're not over him, you may not want him back and not dream about him anymore but it doesn't mean you're not over him, dont lie to yourself. I am over my ex and i definitely do not want to have a final goodbye, i just dont care enough to want it.

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If there's no hidden agenda of getting back together or you can be totally accepting of the very worst response back from him--i.e. no acknowledgement or a "you are terrible" or "I just slept with half the town and I'm busy working on doing so with the other half" and still be okay, and still feel like you got closure then sure why not. Otherwise chalk this up to experience and move on. Breakups don't normally end on a good note and no one is keeping score about whether or not your breakup was amicable. It's also a bit unrealistic to think you can all just be cool and happy and no hard feelings, best of luck to someone you had harsh words with and ended up having to cut out of your life.

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If there's no hidden agenda of getting back together or you can be totally accepting of the very worst response back from him--i.e. no acknowledgement or a "you are terrible" or "I just slept with half the town and I'm busy working on doing so with the other half" and still be okay, and still feel like you got closure then sure why not. Otherwise chalk this up to experience and move on. Breakups don't normally end on a good note and no one is keeping score about whether or not your breakup was amicable. It's also a bit unrealistic to think you can all just be cool and happy and no hard feelings, best of luck to someone you had harsh words with and ended up having to cut out of your life.

 

Haha. This is good advice.

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She might be over him and just wants to close things up in a good way, to be in peace, for herself. Having a fight as the last memory with your Ex might be a hurting spine for defenitive closure?

 

Everyone has different needs with respect to closure; there isn't one right answer for everyone. Some people prefer a strict no contact approach, and some people like the peace of mind from a final meeting. If both parties can remain civil, I see nothing inherently wrong with wanting to have a final meet up for a "no hard feelings, I wish you all the best" kind of closure. However, if both parties DON'T actually wish each other well -- i.e. one of them wants to fight or be rude/confrontational -- then it might be best to leave it alone. With my most recent breakup, my ex-girlfriend and I both appreciated seeing each other one last time for a proper goodbye with no animosity.

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I actually dont want to meet up with him. Phone call or text would be enough. I just want to have one last good conversation with him. I dont have any hidden agenda, i dont want to be back together and i dont want to meet up cause that is too much work.

 

I just want a proper goodbye. I still have some of his things and i was waiting for him to contact me to get them. (Ipad and beats) Maybe when he is ready he'll contact me to ask for his things and then we can have a proper goodbye.

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Get a piece of paper, write everything you want to tell him on the piece of paper. By everything i mean everything. Take the paper and light it on fire, let it give you a sense of closure. I got this from a breakup system, i just did it. I don't even know if i feel better but you have nothing to lose

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I got my wish. He texted me after 41 days NC.

 

And he was still that same vindictive spiteful evil person. He was asking for his things back. And well, it ended in a fight again. He was so insulting! He was making it seem like i dont want to return his things!

 

His 1st msg: just tell me if you're still returning my things or not so im not waiting here.

I reaponded cooly atfirst but his next messages were just so insulting and it got the better of me. I couldnt maintin my coolheadedness. He is such an immature piece of sh1t!

 

That squashed the 3% hope remaining in me. Now, i am so moved onnnn!

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I was dumped. Cruelly! So i really dont get why he's being bitter. I think he's not over me. Lol. He knows it's he's lost and he wont be able tp get a much better girl than me. He's being angry to justify to himself why he broke up with me. He is immature that's why i always break up with him. But i always give him a second chance.

 

Oh well. I really dont care about him anymore. I'll send his things after xmas. And to think i thought i'd die without him. Lol. Now i feel im finally free.

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