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Can you really be friends with the opposite sex ?


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Can you ?

 

I have several male friends in real life as opposed to cyber space and also chat to men and women on here with no agenda what so ever .

 

I could share a bed with my male friends if I had to .. not that that need arises , but my point is ...a male friend is exactly that ..a friend .

 

With all of my male friends there is a mutual respect , there seems to be an unspoken agreement that we are not attracted to one another ..If I got a sniff of one of my male friends being attracted to me then I would not be able to carry on .

 

I also enjoy having both sexes as friends , it gives a different view point when you need an opinion .

 

so you can you , quite honestly , yourself , have the opposite sex as a friend with NO agenda ?

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I have mostly guy friends. And I love it.

I miss having girlfriends for sure, but most girls my age I know now are just.... like you can`t rely on them, they have all that stuff in their heads I just can`t seem to be exited about.) My best girlfriends now are my sister and my cousin, and a wonderful German lady 10 years older then me.

I slept in a same bed with some of my guy friends too.

I had one major situation in my life when my friend had a crush on me. We went back to being friends as soon as he found himself a GF after I said NO to his proposition to TRY. Now its perfect friendship again)

If my friend ever back stabbed me - it was a girl and it happened throughout my whole life. A guy friend never did that to me.

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Yep.

 

Most of my friends are female. I've slept next to and cuddled with female friends with no agenda on either part. There have been girls that I've mentally sexualised despite not being consciously interested. In that case it's a matter of controlling behaviour and managing risky scenarios that might lead to something or cause one of us embarrassment.

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exactly. and working in a female collective is just a ride through hell... I would be better off with 100 guys)))

 

hahahaha a ride through hell ..yeah I can imagine .

 

The females I tend to bond with are similar to me .. I don't really get on to well with very girly girls ...and by that I mean girls/women sorry , who won't hammer a nail into a wall because it's a mans job or they might break a nail etc or expect a man to be a super hero because they are delicate little flowers .

 

Also with looks/body/ abilities , my female friends are like me in that we are not out to look better , be slimmer , have the fabbest clothes etc ..we just encourage each others good points .

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I get on with both very girly girls as well as women who as a matter of speaking are concrete builders who think pink is for pigs.

I get on with men in general, I get on with children in general, I get on with dogs and with horses and chickens.

I can drive my car like a boss, and still like my man to hammer a nail when I ask.

 

Because I feel good about myself and about who I am, I don't go b*tching about other females just because they're not like me.

(or more importantly they steal my sunlight)

 

Live and let live.

 

This said, I did however work in two workplaces with mostly women, and exactly becàuse of above mindset, things got sour very quickly.

Take your responsibility about your own narrow view here and you'll see you won't be posting a thread like this no more.

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It depends on women you work with. I thought its too obvious to mention, but if you insist... I worked with some that I really liked, but from my personal experience, most woman collectives are the same. And life proves that to me every day, and my views don't have anything to do with it- some women just have tendency to being bi*chy.

And I think calling somebody else`s views narrow here pretty much shows your own ones, darling.

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Larlequin,

 

and what I meant was that I know their tendency in some occasions is to be b*tchy, and to me, in my experience this is an immediate result of above mindset:

i.e. 'I don't like girly girls' and before you know it, some woman enters the workplace being an overly girly girl, and there goes the threadmill of looks and sighs from other women. Let people be who they are, and this said, then why bother posting about it, it loses any purpose if you just let people be.

 

Yes, I do think this is narrowmindedness. And no, I don't think I'm guilty of that.

 

For staying on topic, I have both guy best friends as I have woman best friends, and each gender gives me different approaches to life, which I enjoy.

 

About the sleeping together while not cuddling and stuff like that, with guy friends, that's very specific to certain circamstances, I can't generalize this myself.

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and what I meant was that I know their tendency in some occasions is to be b*tchy, and to me, in my experience this is an immediate result of above mindset:

i.e. 'I don't like girly girls' and before you know it, some woman enters the workplace being an overly girly girl, and there goes the threadmill of looks and sighs from other women. Let people be who they are, and this said, then why bother posting about it, it loses any purpose if you just let people be.

 

well you are assuming quite a lot here ....I personally have never judged another human being at a mere glance on walking in the work place ..how would one know if that girl was a girly girl ????????? I think you my dear have missed the point ..and you have indeed done a really good job of showing us how quickly women judge ..because you just did it . It takes time and knowing to be able to know if a girl is a girly girl ..yet you have happily assumed myself and larl would judge someone after 30 seconds . shame on you ....

 

and thankyou for turning a happy little thread into a sour place !! Some of us havent got a chip so big we can't enjoy a forum .

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I will never judge somebody just by the look. And I wonder why you used that example...

Girly or not, if woman has sh*t in her head and thinks this is how a woman should be - I wont make friends with her, that's what I tried to say. I wont bash her or something.

 

The point in posting this is to share opinions on the topic.

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staysound

I have a co worker, who slags everyone else off and lies, she's female, she gossips about everyone, and spreads everyone elses buisiness around, to customers and whoever will listen. My ma's co workers are the same as this one. I can't stand women like that, and if you can deal with them, good for you. But doesn't mean that WE are wrong for not meshing with or getting on with those types.

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hi Butterfly~Wrists,

 

I'm not saying anybody is 'wrong' here, I do however have difficulties with women going about other women and generalizing, whether they know the person or not, if you get to know a person and don't like them it is usually for traits like you mention, backstabbing, gossiping and the likes.

Not for being girly girls or whatever type of woman you/they are.

 

I try not to judge a book by its cover, or after reading the first three pages either, and I have experienced an incredible hostile and primarily women based workplace before, two times actually, where working seemed to be the second big activity there.

But they were all kinds of women, not one type. And more importantly, I know of men doing the exact same thing too, amongst each other or with others, both male or female.

It's just not that gender based, it just happens in other ways and tactics.

 

Anyway (again ) can you really be friends with the opposite sex?

I think you -sometimes- need to show your boundaries more early on, but when done so, I personally think a female-male friendship can be extremely strong just because there is no romance involved. You can turn it around aswel, and ask yourself, can you have a real friendship with another woman if something as basic as competition will allways be present, even if you aren't consciously aware of it.

 

Each friendship though, in my very humble opinion is special and unique.

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I never saw, was a part of or heard of a men collective where guys go gossip in bathrooms, or hate somebody in groups. Never. Boys can do that in school, maybe. But men don't do that. Girls can dedicated their whole life to that life style...

 

What was said is that it is more common for us to be friends with the opposite of a girly girl. Others, on the other hand, can find it harder to be friends with a girl that is more of a tomboy. There was nothing about hating the girly girls, you just imagined that somehow...

 

I can be girly too sometimes and rock a dress and make my hair and stuff. Most of the times though I have more important things to. Piling a ton of make up on your face or spending 30 minutes deciding if you should wear that flower ring or these flower earrings doesn't mean you are girly and you care more about yourself then others.

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At some point, usually years down the road the dynamic has changed within those friendships 8 times out of 10...I don't know if it was always there and I didn't see it, or if things just shifted.

 

When I was younger, I always said Oh - I can't get along with women. I just didn't really have girlfriends. And that's ridiculous, frankly - For me to have claimed I can't get along with an entire sex. I think anyone who says they can't get along with an entire sex is the one with the problem, not everyone else. Then I began to find women who thought like me. And I sure can get along with women! I was simply guilty of stereotyping, though.

 

I am sure women and men can be totally platonic...I do think also, it is natural when you have such a good dynamic between the two of you to be torn in keeping it, and seeing if it can go further. It doesn't always happen, but sometimes...But when you have that brotherly/sisterly relationship where you poop with the door open and flush the toilet on the phone with reckless abandon, usually it's safe to say that will stay platonic - Heh.

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I never saw, was a part of or heard of a men collective where guys go gossip in bathrooms, or hate somebody in groups. Never. Boys can do that in school, maybe. But men don't do that

 

As a male working on a 500+ population, 99.7% male worksite, I can confidently say that though you may not have experienced it, you're completely wrong.

 

Workplaces will often bring it out in either gender.

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Well, I guess I am the lucky one then!

You know, your one opinion sounds more like an exception to me, than a rule.

I had no such experience in my whole life, so your opposite experience doesn't make me wrong.

But you enjoy going around, pointing my wrongs, fella) So what can I do

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