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Needing to vent so I don't write rash message


recentsingle

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I posted about my ex and how we broke up because she couldn't get over her ex in here last week.

 

Today I was supposed to fly there to see her for Christmas, but it ended before that. Today she called and left a message and also wrote and asked that since "it was all my fault" we broke up because "It was pointed out to me by a friend, and yes he is my friend, that since you couldn't get over my being friends with my ex, even if he did cause problems, even if he did call you a douchebag, call me a untrustworthy in public and even if he called you late at night on your phone." (her EXACT words) that I should go to the doctor and get a fake medical note so she can get a refund on her half of the plane ticket and that I should also let her use my Sam's Club card to get access for awhile longer since she hadn't used it in a month and it won't cost me anything to keep her on it because I have a business account and can have a few extra users for free. And her ex said that it is the least I can do for making her date me when he said not to do that and she agrees with him that I do owe her for making her do that against his wishes. I am so hurt and mad that it got so petty. I get that money is tight, but asking me to be the one to lie and come up with some excuse to get a refund because her ex guilted her? That and teaming up with him to blame me and, it feels like, use me to the last second has got me hurt and crushed and furious.

 

This girl can be sweet and loving, except when she talks to that ex, so I don't want to overreact, but right now I am in the mood to tell her off and tell her she won't be a part of my life ever again. To tell her exactly how she hurt me and how I think of her at this moment.

 

But I am a nice person. And empathetic and it would bite me for far longer to actually hurt her that way. Maybe if I vent here I can come up with a more reasoned response later instead of saying what I want to right now.

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Ignore her. Do not respond at all.

 

What she's asking you to do is RIDICULOUS. She's an adult. She dated you because she wanted to -- not because you made her. Nothing in her "request" (demand, actually) makes any logical sense whatsoever. If her ex is such an awesome guy, HE can cough up the money.

 

Unbelievable. You owe her nothing.

 

Edited to Add: Actually, I agree with the above poster. Write her a terse e-mail indicating "Request denied. Never contact me again," and leave it there.

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Omg, what a drama queen.

Can you block her number??

You have dodged a bullet here. Let her & her Ex have their discussions about what you "should and shouldn't do". How dare she discuss her relationship with you to her Ex.

She needs to grow up & you need to completely go NC on her, and find a lovely lady for you.

Good luck

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I have never heard anything quite so pathetic. She dated you against her ex's will and you're to blame for that? Really?

 

She made her own conscious decision and it ended because of him. You owe them diddly squat. He is still jealous of the fact that she got with you in the first place and he is trying to get back at you.

 

The most effective action you can take is to do nothing. Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing you are bothered by their pathetic games.

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Omg, what a drama queen.

How dare she discuss her relationship with you to her Ex.

 

That was the reason it ended. I couldn't "get past" that she would run and talk to him whenever there was an issue for the longest time. She stopped talking to him for awhile there, but would still use his words and arguments and say since she wasn't talking to him that it shouldn't matter how she phrased things. While they were talking he would tell her things like "Ask him if he will allow you, a free thinking adult, to talk to me. If he says no or he doesn't want that he is a controlling, manipulative bastard. If he says yes then he obviously he is spineless and deep down wants to cut you loose and is an uncaring bastard because I wouldn't want you talking to an ex." and only later, after much discussion, would she see that he made it win-win for him because whatever I did I was an awful person for it in his scenarios. She wouldn't call me names like that, but would do things like phrase any setback in my life as a "deception" to what she had thought my life would be like going in, no matter that it was a setback and I wasn't happy about it either and it wasn't in my control. Example my thesis had to be reformulated because the data just wasn't there for the original proposal. My professors were upset and I was upset and they said it happens a lot, but she took it as I did it on purpose because her ex said only a liar wouldn't finish their degree on time. She had them too, as do all humans, and I comforted her when it happened and tried to help, but mine were referred to as deceptions once he told her that they were.

 

Sorry venting some.

 

I do feel like I dodged a bullet. I have felt that since the breakup alongside the regret. I did love her and when this guy wasn't around there was hope, but she kept making the conscious and unconscious choice to take his side or use his arguments. And like a bullet that you dodged hitting a major organ but still hit you . . . it hurts like hell.

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