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I guess i have two questions. One, what is the no-contact rule? I mean that as in, is it a method to move on or to to see if you still like the person?

 

Two, i need to ask for an outside opinion on my personal situation.

 

My ex (long-distance during school year but we had been together 13 months) broke up with me because her life was taking a different turn and she confused and honestly a whole list of reasons i can't get into unless i'll be here for paragraphs long. But basically she said she just didn't feel the same and was feeling depressed. Some days she said she believed i was the only thing that could make her feel better and others she felt she needed to be alone. But gradually this hope came less and less and she seemed to become more and more distant. Needless to say i still stood around trying to help her feel better in this depression. We still made plans and i came back often. i basically waited on her for two months, just trying anything i could, knowing if we could try again i could make her feel better. Eventually however she stopped texting the same. Then she'd only reply in one-word responses. Then on the last day i was actively trying to be there for her she stopped replying at all to anything i sent. So after all she put me through (it wasn't a pretty breakup and wasn't handled well on either side), i was told to just stop contact for a while completely to see how both of us would feel. So the first real time i let it all out how i felt in a long message and left her alone, honestly believing she would never contact me again. Still every few days she would message me, sometimes with a "i hope your doing okay" and sometimes with a small conversation. it eventually got less and less and now it's been a full week since we've talked.

 

she did, however, unblock me on facebook. But she had done this before to creep on my profile, then promptly blocked me again. for this reason, i blocked her to prevent her from doing the same thing again, but a bit later realized i was pulling the same deal so i quickly unblocked her and left her alone.

 

aaanyway i'm just wondering what to think. we had a long distance relationship and i'm back in town for winter break. honestly i thought, if anything, this might be the time she may try to contact me at all, try to make ammends or work for some semblance of friendship or just to spend time trying to be friends (seeing as this is the time she would only be working and thus have more free time to be like me, lounging around without ANYthing to do and constantly thinking about her). i know i'm hoping for a lot. i guess some part of me was hoping for some proof that she cared at all...

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I guess i have two questions. One, what is the no-contact rule? I mean that as in, is it a method to move on or to to see if you still like the person?

 

It's a method of moving on after someone has told you that they no longer want to be in your life. It's a means to begin and get through the grieving process of your heart being broken.

 

Two, i need to ask for an outside opinion on my personal situation.

 

My ex (long-distance during school year but we had been together 13 months) broke up with me because her life was taking a different turn and she confused and honestly a whole list of reasons i can't get into unless i'll be here for paragraphs long. But basically she said she just didn't feel the same and was feeling depressed. Some days she said she believed i was the only thing that could make her feel better and others she felt she needed to be alone. But gradually this hope came less and less and she seemed to become more and more distant. Needless to say i still stood around trying to help her feel better in this depression. We still made plans and i came back often. i basically waited on her for two months, just trying anything i could, knowing if we could try again i could make her feel better. Eventually however she stopped texting the same. Then she'd only reply in one-word responses. Then on the last day i was actively trying to be there for her she stopped replying at all to anything i sent. So after all she put me through (it wasn't a pretty breakup and wasn't handled well on either side), i was told to just stop contact for a while completely to see how both of us would feel. So the first real time i let it all out how i felt in a long message and left her alone, honestly believing she would never contact me again. Still every few days she would message me, sometimes with a "i hope your doing okay" and sometimes with a small conversation. it eventually got less and less and now it's been a full week since we've talked.

 

she did, however, unblock me on facebook. But she had done this before to creep on my profile, then promptly blocked me again. for this reason, i blocked her to prevent her from doing the same thing again, but a bit later realized i was pulling the same deal so i quickly unblocked her and left her alone.

 

aaanyway i'm just wondering what to think. we had a long distance relationship and i'm back in town for winter break. honestly i thought, if anything, this might be the time she may try to contact me at all, try to make ammends or work for some semblance of friendship or just to spend time trying to be friends (seeing as this is the time she would only be working and thus have more free time to be like me, lounging around without ANYthing to do and constantly thinking about her). i know i'm hoping for a lot. i guess some part of me was hoping for some proof that she cared at all...

 

The only thing that she can do to show you she cares for you is for her to contact you and say "Romanticide, I was wrong. I am sorry for treating you the way I did. I really want you in my life. Please, can we get back together and try again?" Anything short of that is her being selfish by not allowing you to get over her and move on with your life.

 

YOu have to decide which is more important: your heart healing or her selfishness at the expense of your heart healing.

 

You don't want or need to be involved with anyone who does not want to be with you 100%. If she is "confused", leave her alone. If she wont' give you a straight answer, leave her alone. She's either all in or she's out.

 

You need to block her on facebook and all social media so she can't creep on your page. Doing that is not being mean or cruel to her---it's not allowing her to be mean and cruel by popping in whenever she feels like it to leave a trail of bread crumbs to nowhere or worse still, off the edge of an emotional cliff.

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No contact rule = no contact with your ex. The established method has shown to be beneficial for the dumper or the dumpee with respect to one's ability to move on and get on with their life in a positive way.

 

Sounds like you and this person are playing silly games with each other and it doesn't sound like continuning this will be good for either of you. When it comes to loving someone, you either get in or get out...that's my way of thinking...unless you are willing to have both feet in right now...get both feet out and move on, NC recommended.

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No-contact is a mindset a person acquire in order to forget the person he/she used to love because he/she got dumped. Like the name says, you go to absolutely NO-CONTACT AT ALL with your ex. That means no facebook stalking, no instagram, no nothing. He texted you? Delete the message without reading. Email? Same. He called you and you missed it? Don't call back asking what he wanted. Don't text either.

 

So as the name says, no contact. You act like the person never existed in the first place.

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Dumpers will often stay in contact after a breakup to use you to help them feel better. To make them feel less guilty.... and to hold their hand and help them feel less lonely while they look for their next relationship. They also enjoy the ego strokes of being in contact with someone who wants to be with them.

 

When you've been dumped -- and you're hoping to get back together -- it's easy to misinterpret this behavior and HOPE it means they might want to take you back.

 

No Contact helps to prevent this from happening. When you cut off all means of their being able to contact you -- email, online, by phone -- you're stopping them from USING YOU to GET OVER YOU. You're helping yourself to heal because every time they text or message you it stops you from moving on.

 

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

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