Ask boyfriend to test for low testosterone? How to break up because of lack of s

[unsexed]

I love this man dearly. I would marry him and live the rest of my days with him *if I could have a reasonable sex life with him. In the last 6 months I have had 1 orgasm. We've been together 1.5 years and yes its always been this way.

 

We have sex about once a month. Im often rejected when I initiate or he can't get/maintain erection. He has no care for sex and I want sex everyday. Im supportive he understands my feelings yet nothing changes. He is 27 im 30

 

We've talked this TO DEATH he is trying to initiate sex more but despite my efforts I can't get him erect. He doesn't care to help me reach orgasm after he finishes.

 

Other than sex, he's wonderful. I don't believe his disinterest in sex is normal. I can't live the rest of my life having 1 or 2 orgasm a year. im hoping that if he got tested for low testosterone. .. a supplement could boost his libido.

 

--- how can I LOVINGLY ask him to test for low testosterone?

--- how do you phrase a break up because of lack of sex?

[lady00]

I don't think you can convince him of anything. He has to think this is a problem before he does anything about it. You can suggest that he get checked out by a doctor and if he were interested in improving your sex life he would do that in a heartbeat. A huge part of being in a relationship is having compassion and consideration for the other person's feelings. Constantly feeling rejected is incredibly painful and if you are 100% in a relationship, you just don't do that to the other person. You figure out a way to avoid that as much as possible. At least that's my view. And it's taken me a while and several dating experiences to come to this view. So if I were you, I would suggest it one time and then I would drop it and give myself permission to walk away if he does not agree to make a real attempt to address it.

[unsexed]

Yes I think you're right. I will him after Christmas. Though im afraid that asking him to test his "man hormone" may hurt him

[toby17]

The guy doesn't care if you have a good sex life. You don't need any reason to break up with him, you just should.

 

If you want some ideas about what you might say, consider telling him this:

(1) two people need to be sexually compatible and the two of you aren't

(2) he's happy to have sex once a month and you'd like it more like once a day

(3) when you do have sex he doesn't get you off and clearly doesn't care if you're satisfied

(4) he's a lovely guy but a selfish lover

(5) you care about him but this is a deal breaker.

 

For motivation, I suggest you wait until right after your next monthly appointment, and drop it on it right after he rolls off of you.

 

(Btw: I don't think he's physically attracted to you and I wouldn't be surprised if you find out down the line that he's gay.)

[lerenard]

You can really love him, but if you two are not on the same page about sex, it will get tricky.

Why the hell you waited 1.5 years for that?

 

Any healthy guy would want to have sex with his GF. ANY healthy guy would want his d*ck to be hard.

If he has problems with erection - he would be worried and will do ANYTHING to fix that.

You guy just doesn't care about you being satisfied, and he has a low sex drive, so he isn't bothered by his own horny-feelings.

Stop stressing about it and just find someone who is on the same page with you. Because this one honestly doesn't seem to care at all.

I mean any guy can have a bad day or be nervous, but he will do anything to still satisfy his partner.

[IAmFCA]

I unwittingly married your bf.

 

It didn't work.

 

I couldn't wait for him to get up and take a shower so I could touch myself. It was a confining way tk live and I don't recommend it.

 

It is not your job to chase a diagnosis for his sex drive. He is happy how he is. It's either good of you or co-dependent to make the effort, since it might be a symptom of you taking responsibility for him.

 

Be prepared to let this go. Start living.

[DancingFool]

He would be great if only I could fix this and that about him. As you have heard many times by now, relationships like that do not work in the long run.

 

Unfortunately you two are polar extremes when it comes to sex. High time to acknowledge that and part company. There are women out there who would love a guy who only wants it once in a blue moon and there are men out there who dream about a woman with your sex drive. When it comes to things like that, it's best to seek mutual compatibility as opposed to spending years in mutual frustration and misery.

[Kendahke]

His problem isn't lack of testosterone. His problem is a lack of interest in your satisfaction.

 

Selfish men are those who are quite content in rolling over after they're done and letting you shift for yourself. They aren't concerned with you having an orgasm--and it may be a "Madonna/W h0 re" thing going on in their mind--who knows.

 

Your break up isn't over lack of sex. It's over his selfish sexual attitude. You want a man who wants you the same way you want him; you want a man who is as invested in your satisfaction as you are in his, and that goes to how he feels about you as a whole, not just in the sexual realm. Trust me, there are men out there who love for their woman to be satisfied. You just don't happen to have one of those men.