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bumble230

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Eurgh more of a vent than anything this morning.

In the spring I was hurt by my ex... Thought I wouldn't trust anyone again so went on the online dating scene to help build me back up. Then 3 months ago a guy popped into my life. He was everything I wanted in a guy.. sweet, kind, driven, attractive etc. We finally met and I decided to take it slow as I wanted to suss out if he was actually interested in ME rather than just wanting sex.

I stayed at his a couple of times (he lives 40 mins away) and he never made a move out of respect. He was so thoughtful.

My walls eventually eroded away and I felt really good with him, I trusted him and felt comfortable. We got on and both said there was so much potential there, it all seemed so good.. And when we were finally intimate the connection was amazing.

But then a couple of days ago I get the "I don't think this can work... I'm an all or nothing person and my masters course has to be my priority" text. He said he thinks it's the "right person, but wrong timing" scenario, and that it's unfair on me/us that he wouldn't be able to put everything into it due to this commitment.... He has exams and assignments for January and work to go to (9 hour shifts over the next month or so) so I wouldn't have seen him in weeks, which he says he wouldn't be able to handle.... Too much pressure perhaps?

He screwed up his original degree and then tried to become an accountant which didnt work out, so I know how determined he is to do well in this course...(he is 26, I'm 22). His focus has to be on that, rather than establishing a relationship, which I get... I told him we could work around it, but he said he knew I wanted and deserved more. Granted, I'd love to see him more but when you like somebody this much you make compromises?

He has never had a long term relationship either so maybe that's a factor too... Maybe he is too independent for his own good and he hasn't been with somebody long enough to level it out. He is not used to relationship/work multitasking

 

I'm just so gutted. It was great until hit the fan he really wants to remain friends... But I dunno if I can handle it. Granted I can't wait for him, as that's holding me back, but I know this is something that could be amazing, so I don't know whether I should keep the door open and see what happens when he has finished...

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If he thought it was something that could be amazing he'd figure it out. "Being friends" secures his spot incase nothing else comes his way and is a complete disservice to yourself. A guy would not let the girl of his dreams get away because he "can't multitask".

It's definitely painful but time to move on.

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If he thought it was something that could be amazing he'd figure it out. "Being friends" secures his spot incase nothing else comes his way and is a complete disservice to yourself. A guy would not let the girl of his dreams get away because he "can't multitask".

It's definitely painful but time to move on.

 

I agree. He had doubts long before he told you it was over. He just used his masters as a get out clause. Time to move on.

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I do not like the sound of all of that at all. I think you got played I'm afraid.

 

What he suddenly realised he was going to have to focus on his course? Bull****. And you guys were saying how much you liked each other etc before you slept with him etc and now he's cooling off....

 

Also the fact that he hasn't had a long term relationship is a bad sign.

 

My ex had had two girlfriends in the past, both at least for a year but he was single for 6 years-that should have been my warning sign. No one wanted to date him.

 

But yours is the other side of it-never having had any long term relationships...

 

I just get a bad feeling about it.

 

I'm sorry you thought he was good and everything but he sounds like a bit of a douche.

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My ex said the same things to me. Please please go no contact and show him that he can't have his cake and eat it too. I'm sure he's a nice guy and person but many people go about things immaturely. The only way for him go realize what he gave up is for you to walk away. I believed my ex so I contacted him but it was not the case. Trust me when a guy wants you, they'll keep you no matter what.

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