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Post here instead of sending an email you'll regret!


DrNick

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As with many people here, I'm in a long term relationship but have stupidly involved myself with another person. We haven't had sex but we've engaged in inappropriate behaviour.

 

I have realised that not only am I a coward and a cad for allowing myself to go down this path, but the woman in question is (when I look at it objectively) just using me for her own ego. While she flirts with me, the relationship is all about her and her convenience. You can imagine what a blow it is to realise that you have betrayed someone for someone else who is just using you.

 

The huge problem is (and I'm sure you all understand this), knowing that it's wrong doesn't make it easy to stop. I have decided to go down the NC route, but it's so damn hard! There are moments when I've come very close to breaking NC, even though I know no good can come of it. So what I'm going to do is post here instead. Anyone else in the same boat is welcome to post here too. Post anything, tell us about the infidelity, about the heartache, etc.

 

No judgment, no bad advice, just a space where you can vent when you're frustrated and on the verge of giving in!

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I agree. But most people post their own stories. It's easier that way.

 

You're not a coward if you own up to it and can stick with the NC and learn from this.

 

You're free to click on people's profiles and look at the threads they have started to read their stories. Mine is on here as well.

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I'm not judging you, but you owe it to your girlfriend to come clean, and allow her to make a decision as to whether she'll want to continue with the relationship. You're carrying a heavy load that will grow to haunt you, and will make your life miserable if you choose to withhold this from her.

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I'm not judging you, but you owe it to your girlfriend to come clean, and allow her to make a decision as to whether she'll want to continue with the relationship

^ THIS. I totally agree. She has a right to know what she's getting herself into and it is really wrong to withhold this from her (imo). A relationship built on lies and deceit very rarely ever works out and almost always backfires on you. You owe her the truth.

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If you know

If it's this hard for you, maybe you should be ending things with your LT partner?

 

I agree, break up with your long term relationship partner. She deserves to be with someone who wants her, and her alone.

 

Ask yourself how you would feel if she felt this way about another man.

 

If you truly can't stop with this OW, break it off with your partner. For both your sakes.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I know what you are talking about, DrNick, except I am bigger coward. I cheated because I thought and believed his words - when he said how much he misses me, how he is falling in love with me. All those words about wanting being with me. Then he got sex out of it and I hardly heard from him again. I betrayed my husband for someone who probably used me. How pathetic is that??? And still, I think of him as a perfect guy and can't get him out of my head. I keep wonder what I did wrong, if I said something that made him ignore me. He did not do it first time, so why am I so shocked?

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