Could he be gay?

[rebellefleur]

My friend has been dating a guy for about 6 months now. Things are normal for the most part but she’s been a little weirded out by his relationship with his cousin (who is a male) lately. His friends sometimes make fun of him for how he acts around his cousin and how attached to him he is, but she’s only been around him a few times to experience it. The one time her boyfriend and his cousin were in his room playing video games. He has a small, fold up type couch that is really small. His cousin was laying on the couch with his leg bent up and her boyfriend was at the end of the couch, sitting close to his cousin with his arm wrapped around his cousins knee the whole time. She also mentioned that he would tease his cousin, not in a normal guy to guy type way, but in a touchy, sort of flirty way- like the way he would tease her when they were playing around as a couple.

 

Then the other day he spent the night at his cousins house because he went over late to his house to study for a test with him. She called him the next morning and asked what he was up to, he said he was just lying in bed and she asked where his cousin was and he goes “laying next to me.” She was really weirded out by this because it just seemed strange. He’s 25, so it comes off a little odd to her.

 

She’s just been wondering if maybe he’s gay? He is depressed/has anxiety and also really snaps when they get in arguments…which is sometimes (not always) how some people are when they’re repressing their sexuality. It’s something we could be reading way, way into but we just wanted to get someone else’s outside opinion.

[QWit]

She needs to leave him..

[rebellefleur]

What makes you say that though?

[alli]

It's one thing to be gay. It's another thing completely to be interested in your cousin. So they tease in sort of a touchy feely way, he had his arm around his cousin's knee and once they laid in the same bed.

 

I don't know; maybe he is gay. But maybe he is just a touchy feely type of person who doesn't concern himself with maintaining the physical distance most Americans find necessary.

 

When I was in high school there was a guy that acted kind of like that with me. I thought he was flirting with me. Until I went to his house once and he did the exact same things with his mom. His behavior was more about his personality than about flirting with a crush.

 

The bottom line is that you really can't tell from this description. It could be either way, but I'm leaning away from believing he is gay just because this is a relative of his. I think it's bromance.

[QWit]

I don't know if he gay or not, but, ummm, yeah, she probably need to leave..

[bulletproof]

Would you find it odd if two female cousins slept in the same bed?

 

I don't think all of this leads automatically to "he's gay." But if he's depressed, anxious, and "snapping" during arguments after only 6 months together, maybe she needs to rethink this.

[Batya33]

He might not be gay but his behaviors are cause for concern, I agree.

[missmarple]

I don't see anything strange, to be honest. I'm very comfortable with all my cousins, male and female. So what if he had his arm around his cousin's knee on a very small couch? I've sat like that with girlfriends, it actually reminds me of my university years.

Also, if something was going on, I doubt his cousin would say 'he's laying next to me'. It just seems like that's the way they're used to be around each other. Every family is different and some are more touchy feely than others.

His depression/anxiety etc could be caused by a million of things...I don't understand how she made the connection to him being gay..unless there's something you're not telling us..or she's not telling you.

Have they slept together?