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Why is my Ex mad at me now that I'm with someone else


violet456

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Hi there,

 

I used to date this guy a year ago and we got on really well, had such great chemistry. The problem was he couldn't commit or open up emotionally and I just couldn't be with someone who constantly had me at arms length.

I was pretty disappointed but eventually I met someone else who is just amazing

My ex and I have been on and off in contact this year, a lot of the conversations being of him saying he regrets how he acted and wishing things could work out.

 

I am happy with my boyfriend so it doesn't really matter anymore.

I did catchup with my ex just for a coffee, when my phone rang (my boyfriend calling) my ex then became very distant and awkward.

I didn't answer the call to be polite to him but ever since then he said let's call it a day and went home.

 

I don't know why he acted this way, (not to sound naive) but he has never been emotional in front of me and he used to always enjoying just catching up.

I just found his behavior very short and strange of him.

 

Any help would be great

Thankyou for reading, sorry for the long story!

- Violet

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I can understand if it seems sketchy stuka80 but we were always able to stay friends despite him being emotionally unavailable.

 

I guess i'm just too nice and should never have kept the lines open for communication

 

It really sends the wrong idea to your ex and lays the groundwork for more hard feelings. And it's disrespectful to your boyfriend (in my opinion).

Would you like you're amazing guy meeting an ex who regularly tells him she regrets the way things ended and wished they'd worked out differently? How many times does that need to be chatted about over coffee when you're in a relationship?

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You are not friends when he tells you that he still has feelings for you and wishes you were back together. When you kept meeting up with him, you strung him along and gave him hope that it will happen. It was pretty cruel thing to do. In the future don't pull stuff like that. When your bf called, it finally drove the point home to your ex that it's over and he is just wasting time. So he was angry because your behavior previously sent the wrong message.

 

Also, yes, totally disrespectful to your current relationship to keep entertaining ex's like that. If you have truly moved on and have no intentions of getting back together, it's really best and kindest to be straight with them about it and cut all contact no matter how much they claim they want to be friends. They don't want to be friends, they want to hang on and it's stopping them from healing and moving on.

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Stop hanging out with your EX, or your current BF will come here asking what he should do with a GF that still has her EX in the picture

And we will advice him to break up with you, no joke!

Please tell him to mind his business, and take care of your current relationship.

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It's really bad form to be meeting your ex for coffee when he is still trying to get you wound back up in his "keep you at bay" web.

 

Yeah, you're attractive now because you're not available to him. That's why he's meeting with you. But he's not saying to you "Violet, I want to be with you and I am ready to make the commitment you require. Please give me a chance to show you that what I feel for you is real and I"m not going to tuck my tail between my legs and run from you anymore".

 

In the meantime, How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing to you what you're doing to him and what would you want us to tell him with regards to the ex who is trying to hook him back, emotionally? Would you want us to cheer him on and say "way to go!"? I hardly think so.

 

Make a choice. Either leave the ex alone or leave the boyfriend alone, but quit disrespecting your boyfriend by allowing someone who has feelings for you any entre into your intimacy. It's wrong. If you can't meet with him with your boyfriend with you, then you have no business meeting with him.

 

but to answer the question of your post: because you were giving him false hope of success in his plans of luring you back and your boyfriend called just in time to remind both of you that what you were doing was wrong... and he felt reproached by forces beyond his control, so that's why he's mad.

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Thankyou everyone, I really appreciate your honesty and I needed your blunt advice to really drive it home.

 

I understand it was wrong of me to go, I did not intend on getting his hopes up when we met for coffee. I just wanted to catch up because I did miss him. But that was wrong of me because I really do love my boyfriend and I wouldn't want to be on the other side of the situation if it was reversed.

 

I won't be talking to him anymore, no good will come of it.

As they say, "What will be, will be."

 

Thankyou all again, your advice really helped

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