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dont know what to do?


drake50

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hey guys,

 

so i have this complex situation that i need help with. I am in a same sex relationship with another girl, shes 22 im 25 and she is also a single mom. We have been dating for 2 months now so its still quite new and we are still getting to know each other......But we get on great, awesome chemistry, lots of good times together, quite lovey dovey to one another, being both the same star sign sometimes we clash a bit but its never been anything bad. I get on with her folks great and her little daughter whose 5 years old. She too gets on well with my family. Her daughter is sometimes really naughty and very attention seeking so its quite hard for us to have "Alone time" as we always get interrupted by her and she always has to have her way or she throws tantrums which at times takes a lot out of me and can only handle her in small doses.

 

Anyway go back 2 weeks ago we sort of had an argument me and my gf about a few things.....We havent been sexually intimate with another for a while now because she is either "too tired" or some other excuse, and she also hasnt been that affectionate and romantic towards me....She would always love to spoil me and be all over me and i used to stay over her house atleast 4-5 days a week but lately she has been quite distant with me and i am lucky to even see her twice a week....its like all her main focus now is on her daughter and doing everything with her and just leaving me to the side and seeing me whenever she feels up to it.....I know that her child takes first priority but lately its as if she has left me out of everything and is caught up with her....

 

I spoke to her about it the other day and she said that her daughter comes first and shes trying to be the best mother she can be for her and sometimes has to put me on "the backburner" so she can complete her motherly duties which she thinks she neglected when we were first seeing one another. She said that shes finding it hard to find a balance to keep both her and her daughter satisfied but she cant help the situation she is in. She said that if i cant handle it then we wont work. She tells me she loves me but is not in love with me whilst i feel like im slowly falling for her and i dont know if its a good idea to...

 

I understand that we all have our own lives out of the relationship and everyone needs their own space but why put the foot on the accerlateror at the start and now all of a sudden put the brakes on?? is she trying to break up with me? At the moment it doesnt even feel like we are in a relationship it just feels like were good mates and i dont know if im happy with it...She barely texts me much and when she does its all very brief and when im over hers and i go back home the next day its as if she doesnt even give a sh*t anymore whereas before she would beg me to stay over another night, not anymore....

 

I seriously dont know what to do anymore, i feel like her daughter is slowly ruining our relationship, she can be really cute but the devil at the same time and she is so attached to her mom that its even a big song and dance to take her mom out for tea for a couple of hours...

 

I dont know what to think anymore or where to turn, what do you guys think? thanks

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I think she's 22 with a 5yo kid and you're surprised that the kid is a/the focus for her right now. I think you're surprised that a 5yo girl is demanding of attention and time.

 

I think none of that should not be surprising.

 

Like it or not, difficult though it may be (and I have no doubt it is) she has a child, and if you want her, you'll have to cope with the child as well, on your own.

 

Is there any chance that her mood lately might be due to her picking up on the incompatibility between you and her daughter?

 

Long story short, she needs support, not another thing to try and keep in the air at the same time as her daughter and her own happiness. If you can't give her your support (which would be totally understandable) then it may just not be a workable relationship, no matter how much you love one another.

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