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Ex travelling solo with a female friend


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My relationship has ended a month ago, as my ex wasn't able to be in a relationship due to his depression. He told me he coudn't bear it and it was too much of a pressure and responsibility for him. Now I've accepted that and trying to heal and move on slowly. Since October or November he has been talking to this girl from the US and she is coming to the UK in January to spend a week in London. So he is going to hang out with her for a week, even though he lives in the North of the country and doesn't have a lot of money. I know they will be going to gigs, having a lot of fun. I know the girl is very interested in him, messages him 24/7 and comments on his FB page saying 'my activist'. We had a conversation last week and he said he likes her as a person, he is just friends with her but I'm scared during this trip they will get into a relationship. They are also going travelling to Spain in May with other friends. I know you all will say it doesn't matter anymore and I know it doesn't but this doesn't help me from feeling hurt, anxious from him hanging out with her. I obviously still have feelings for him and it hurts liek crazy. Two days ago I said I don't want to be in touch and he agreed. I know I will get better, it just really bad that I know all about his plans of hanging out with her. I mean the reason he quit the relationship is that he said he CANNOT be in a relationship. It will be such a blow if he gets into a relationship with her, though even the thought of them hugging and getting excited about each other in London makes me sick. I don't want to spend January - June thinking about how he is getting closer with her and making travelling plans. I know it will hurt me even in 5 years time if he gets into a relationship with her cause, hey, he said he can't be in a relationships. What's funny too, is that during the Skype call we had last week he said he is not looking for a relationship but if someone want to get with him he doesn't exclude it. It just makes me feel surreal, I've always thought were we so special and I know it will take me at least a year of full NC and not knowing anything about him to get over him, so it doesn't help I know all about his future plans of travels with this girl. Any advice?

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Definitely go complete NC. Could you make some fun travel plans w/ friends around the same time he's going? That way you'll be distracted and having a good time, surrounded by friends during that time, it might help make that week easier for you. If traveling isn't an option, I'd start now and get fun things (or at least activities w/ friends or family) planned for that entire week. It'll give you something to look forward to. Best of luck. Sorry you're hurting so bad. FYI, I'm hurting w/ you, have to process a break up. It'll get better. you aren't alone.

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stop talking with you EX about girls he likes and trips he is going to take with them.

 

he said he CANNOT be in a relationship sometimes it means "I cannot be in a relationship with you". I was there too, that hurts a lot. But hey, guys who say that just to avoid the truth have no balls.

Good luck with healing!

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stop talking with you EX about girls he likes and trips he is going to take with them.

 

he said he CANNOT be in a relationship sometimes it means "I cannot be in a relationship with you". I was there too, that hurts a lot. But hey, guys who say that just to avoid the truth have no balls.

Good luck with healing!

 

I have to say, I never seen a case where this is wrong... "I can't be in a relationship now" is complete bull in my opinion. It's a "safe" way to say "I don't want you".

 

But like Larlequin said, if he does not know how to say it to you, you're better off without him.

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I'm sorry to hear how hurt you are, but cut contact with him seriously. All this information is only going to hurt you further and you don't need your imagination running wild while picturing how his trip is going. Trust me, we tend to imagine the worse case scenarios after breakups which only makes the pain worse. I wouldn't focus on what he said to you. People often say many, many things that they may think is true at the time or that they change their mind on shortly afterwards.

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