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Is There Any Plausible Reason Why Gay Men Go Crazy For Me...


Bigdave117

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yet women don't care for me too much? I'm not remotely feminine in appearance or personality. I have dark features, I'm 5'10 220 (look like a football linebacker), I have a deep voice and I think I am pretty masculine without being overly try hard.

 

 

Gay men just go crazy for me. I have had probably a dozen gay men who hit on me relentlessly and complimented me up and down (called me gorgeous, handsome, sexy, great body, great smile, etc...). Women - not much going on there at all. I don't get women approaching me, giving me any signs and when I do approach, I generally get rejected. I am not cocky or arrogant in the slightest bit - I'm very friendly and respectful to everybody I meet. I'm not a player - I really want a girlfriend. I dress nice and have a good job.

 

 

I'm 24 years old and I have never had a girlfriend BTW. I don't know what is wrong with me

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I think you're just being treated the same way an attractive woman (gay or straight) gets treated.

 

 

You're kidding right? My sister who looks like the female equivalent of me has been worshiped by men since she was 14 years old. She could get more dates by going into a bar for an hour than I could get the rest of my life combined

 

 

and I'm not asking for catcalls or to be approached on the street. I just have ZERO luck with women - I don't get any signs of interest and when I do approach, I generally get rejected. Please keep in mind I am not the slightest bit arrogant - I'm very friendly and respectful with everybody

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without knowing you or seeing you, it's hard to tell what's going on, why women are rejecting you. have you sought out the advice of close friends? have you tried online dating?

 

 

yea my friends have no clue

 

 

I look absolutely horrible in pictures compared to real life so online dating isn't really an option for me

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Try to get some professional photos then, or have a friend who is good with the camera do a Photoshoot for you. National Geographic takes 5000 photos for every 1 that gets published, so you might have to take a few to get some that you like.

 

 

Online dating is incredibly one sided anyways. The level of difficulty there for men is extremely high

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If you're attractive enough to get tons of gay men interested, then you're certainly attractive enough to get women to like you.

 

 

Here is the list of compliments the last gay man gave me

 

"You're gorgeous"

"I would hit on you all night"

"Your arms are incredible"

"You have a great mile"

 

 

Yet here I am as a 24 year old man who has never had a girlfriend. I don't have crazy standards either - I just would like a girl I feel some attraction for who is a good person. I care a lot about character as I pride myself on having strong character

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If you haven't tried it - I'd maybe look into some classes or clubs of interest to you.

 

Bars are, in general, a horrible place to meet men OR women. Work creates complications. Health clubs - not necessarily a bad place to meet people, but it can be really hard to meet people there for the right reasons because, well, they're focused on their workout.

 

So maybe branch out a little. Is there anything you've wanted to try or do that you haven't found the time for? Maybe an interest you have that you wouldn't mind being more informed about, like cooking, or an artistic pursuit?

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If you haven't tried it - I'd maybe look into some classes or clubs of interest to you.

 

Bars are, in general, a horrible place to meet men OR women. Work creates complications. Health clubs - not necessarily a bad place to meet people, but it can be really hard to meet people there for the right reasons because, well, they're focused on their workout.

 

So maybe branch out a little. Is there anything you've wanted to try or do that you haven't found the time for? Maybe an interest you have that you wouldn't mind being more informed about, like cooking, or an artistic pursuit?

 

 

Not really. My interests are - movies, music, working out, sports, TV shows and videogames. I like to go out and party as well obviously at my age

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You're getting approached by gay men because that's what MEN - gay or straight - are expected to do.

 

Women aren't hitting on you because they are not expected to chase. They're waiting for YOU to hit on THEM, genius!

 

So don't worry. If gay dudes think you're hot, then women will too. You just need to start making the first move.

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Some men just do - attract a lot of attention from gay men. My brother is one. And he is straight as an arrow. If he were a gay man, he would clean up!! He does fine with women too, but with men...he's like catnip. He doesn't even have to do anything.

 

Because you haven't had a girlfriend yet nor gotten the obvious attentions of women yet doesn't at all mean there is anything at all wrong with you. What I have noticed (as a woman) is that plenty of very fine men aren't used to at all getting much attention. It's not that they aren't attractive. It's not that they don't have a lot going for them. And they can even be friendly, fun, any other number of traits that would sometimes open things up for more positive attention....

 

a lot of it is, that women, a lot of times, and especially younger women, are not used to or are even have a 'rule' against showing that kind of attention towards men. Expecting men to show it to a lot of it, and them not having to give anything back.

 

I am not saying ALL women. But plenty. And even though times are changing, there still is a lot of this out there.

 

When I read this thread though, Annie gave you some practical and good suggestions for getting your self out there and seen as available. You seem resistant to practical suggestions for being proactive in finding someone to date, etc. I'd suggest opening up a wee bit on that.

 

Also, as your confidence builds from having positive interactions with women and getting good communication back, I bet you'll find it easier to keep getting more and more.

 

Are you asking women out? Because well, rejection is part of it. For men..and women. Getting used to being rejected is a good skill to have. Getting used to it without getting your feathers in a ruffle or letting it make you start to doubt yourself. Everyone gets rejected. And those who are trying....get rejected a lot. But now and again, you'll make a great connection. And that is what is all about, right.

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You're getting approached by gay men because that's what MEN - gay or straight - are expected to do.

 

Women aren't hitting on you because they are not expected to chase. They're waiting for YOU to hit on THEM, genius!

 

So don't worry. If gay dudes think you're hot, then women will too. You just need to start making the first move.

 

 

Are you guys reading the thread or just reading the title only? I said that when I do approach, I get rejected the overwhelming majority of the time

 

 

And I see and hear plenty of stories of men talking about how their GF approached them first, so it does happen

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What I am trying to figure out is why I am a god to gay men and I am non existent to women when, like I said, I'm 0 % feminine in any way. Some of what you said makes sense but I guess the disparity is so huge it's still a little difficult to grasp

 

 

and I do approach but it's to no avail

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I get rejected the overwhelming majority of the time

 

Most men have an overwhelmingly high rejection rate. It's a numbers game. So you're not alone in this situation.

 

I mean, you turned down 100% of the men who approached you, right? Proves my point.

 

And I see and hear plenty of stories of men talking about how their GF approached them first, so it does happen

 

Of course. But you can't control that.

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What I am trying to figure out is why I am a god to gay men and I am non existent to women when, like I said, I'm 0 % feminine in any way. Some of what you said makes sense but I guess the disparity is so huge it's still a little difficult to grasp

 

 

and I do approach but it's to no avail

 

I would suggest not worrying about it. Why you are a god to gay men, but not a god to women. lol. I'm a woman - and the women who hit on me are drastically different from my experiences with the men who hit on me. It's just a totally different situation altogether.

 

You approach.....can you tell us what all you are doing? Are you asking women in dates? Are you meeting women in situations where you can see them repeatedly and build some rapport? Are you doing cold approaches?

 

ND made my point more succinctly. That it isn't abnormal, from my observations, for there to be high rejection rates for most people. Those people who seem to 'have it easy' and people are fawning all over them all the time...that's the minority, not the majority.

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You approach.....can you tell us what all you are doing? Are you asking women in dates? Are you meeting women in situations where you can see them repeatedly and build some rapport? Are you doing cold approaches?

 

I just have friendly conversation about subject matters we both find interesting. Try to be flirty but respectful

 

I do some cold approaches and some where I've talked to them a few times - it's generally rejection accross the board

 

 

ND made my point more succinctly. That it isn't abnormal, from my observations, for there to be high rejection rates for most people. Those people who seem to 'have it easy' and people are fawning all over them all the time...that's the minority, not the majority.

 

 

My sister looks about the same as me (but the feminine version obviously) and she has been worshiped by men since we were kids. She doesn't even put in any effort and has to beat men off with a stick. I actually try

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May I ask what type of women you are approaching? And WHERE are you approaching them? If you are primarily doing bars and clubs, I'm afraid the rejection rate is going to be fairly high. Meetups and other social events that are focused on activity and interests might work better for you. Unless you moves and 'smooth' bars are kind of a challenge. As a woman, I don't go to bars or clubs looking for men. I figure most are looking for a lay in the hay anyway. So I tend to be polite and have a conversation, but don't let it go beyond that.

 

I think I have only dated one or two guys from a bar/club situation.

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May I ask what type of women you are approaching? And WHERE are you approaching them? If you are primarily doing bars and clubs, I'm afraid the rejection rate is going to be fairly high. Meetups and other social events that are focused on activity and interests might work better for you. Unless you moves and 'smooth' bars are kind of a challenge. As a woman, I don't go to bars or clubs looking for men. I figure most are looking for a lay in the hay anyway. So I tend to be polite and have a conversation, but don't let it go beyond that.

 

I think I have only dated one or two guys from a bar/club situation.

 

 

I'm going for women who are "my type" - as similar to me as possible

 

 

as far as environment goes, I do it wherever I can

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May I ask what is "my type"? Excuse my ignorance, but I don't get a feel yet of what you call 'your type.'

 

 

Things I love

 

 

Working out

Sports

Food

Music - Trance, Country, Metal, Rock, Rap

Movies - Action, Horror, Comedy

Videogames

 

 

So a girl who would be interested in those kind of things. I take a lot of pride in my appearance (style, grooming) and I take a lot of pride in having strong character - classy, friendly, generous, etc... so I want a girl who is similar in that regard. Basically just someone who would be as compatible to me as possible

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Are you guys reading the thread or just reading the title only? I said that when I do approach, I get rejected the overwhelming majority of the time

 

 

And I see and hear plenty of stories of men talking about how their GF approached them first, so it does happen

 

Don't expect it to happen...

You might receive a longer glance, a discrete smile and that's a good signal to go and strike up a conversation. Don't expect to have a high success rate. Men fight over your sister because that's what we men do, chase, chase, chase.

 

Some girls may find you attractive but they sure as hell won't make the first move. Last week I found out a friend's friend thought I was attractive but she did not make a move, even after being told so by my friend. Oh well, it was 3 years ago...not worth pursuing anything...

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