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Broke no contact!!!


Twiceborn

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I broke no contact, I really am missing my ex girlfriend, I stopped replying to her messages 3 months ago via facebook. I checked her facebook profile that's how I broke it and she looks like shes holidaying overseas by a beautiful beach resort in pictures. I'm really hurting and just want her back as a friend, but would accept a relationship possibly. She fell out of love, which was due to a lot of mistakes on my behalf, like neediness, letting myself go etc.

 

I really would like to text her, please give me some advice before I break NC! I know you're going to say don't break it but I probably will. So just give me some advice based on that please. Cheers.

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I would suggest not breaking it. It will set you back and make you miserable just as you're about to get to some (likely-I'm assuming) festive holiday celebrating and welcoming the new year. Don't torture yourself.

 

I already feel like absolute crap just checking out her profile. I've sabotaged my no contact period! She told me when we broke up shes too "prideful" to contact me if I disappear. I'm really wanting to chat with her again, she was not only my lover but best friend.

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So you feel like crap and now you're going to make yourself feel worse -and right before "the most wonderful time of the year"??? Sounds like masochism.

Don't do it.

 

Listen I know a lot of people on hear what they want to hear on this forum so excuse my statement but I'm only seeking some form of comfort. I want a friendship with her and seeking the best method to reforge a friendship. I know I'm worth more than her and merely just after a friendship.

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You are going thru some emotions, that's it . You're feeling lonely.

At this time, you do NOT need her as a 'friend', nothing. Not until these feelings for her are GONE. Until that time, friendship with an ex will not work.

 

If she is looking to get back together, i'm sure she has your number. Dont do it- keep going. And stop checking on her FB.

This ALL makes everything worse. You cannot move ahead and work on healing doing this stuff.

 

one day at a time..

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And while you're on this break from her, why dont you start working on your inner self? Work on that 'neediness' issue.

That is one of the problems you say caused some problems.. so if you two were to get bk together, things will more than likely return to this same spot, as NOTHING was changed.

 

So, hope you are working on yourself.

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I feel like I've worked a lot on my emotional state, neediness and other stuff that caused conflicts. I would like to attain her as a friend and if we were compatible surely we could work it out but not obviously and directly. I know you guys have knowledge but I feel 3 months NC has been a long time for a 6 month relationship and if I've ever to be friends or anything more it's time to just show I'm still around since I just disappeared off the face of the Earth...

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Listen I know a lot of people on hear what they want to hear on this forum so excuse my statement but I'm only seeking some form of comfort. I want a friendship with her and seeking the best method to reforge a friendship. I know I'm worth more than her and merely just after a friendship.

 

Comfort: You are a worthy person and you don't need your ex to validate your existence.

 

Love comes from many sources and if you are feeling lonely you should seek love from other loved ones such as family and friends. Do not seek love (friendship or otherwise) from someone who has left your life. It will only lead to more rejection and make you more needy for her acceptance.

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ok a few questions dude ... how old are you? how old is she? how long did you date? was it long distance? how long have you been broken up? has she ever initiated contact with you? what kind of things have you been talking about saying after your break up? how long has it been since you last had any contact? what was said during this last contact you had with her? do you see her? is she far away? do you have mutual friends? are you still friends on Facebook?

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I don't think you want just a friendship since you posted this in getting back together. That aside, proceed with caution. I think you're going to do it no matter what anyone says/advises but be forewarned that you're shooting yourself in the foot if your intention is to get back together.

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I feel like I've worked a lot on my emotional state, neediness and other stuff that caused conflicts. I would like to attain her as a friend and if we were compatible surely we could work it out but not obviously and directly. I know you guys have knowledge but I feel 3 months NC has been a long time for a 6 month relationship and if I've ever to be friends or anything more it's time to just show I'm still around since I just disappeared off the face of the Earth...

 

For most relationships that end, especially short ones, the friendship either ends for a long long time or ends permanently. As long as you have romantic feelings, you cannot really be friends.

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ok a few questions dude ... how old are you? how old is she? how long did you date? was it long distance? how long have you been broken up? has she ever initiated contact with you? what kind of things have you been talking about saying after your break up? how long has it been since you last had any contact? what was said during this last contact you had with her? do you see her? is she far away? do you have mutual friends? are you still friends on Facebook?

 

I'm 23, shes 25. We dated for about 6 months, both of our first serious relationship. We've been broke up since July and I've been in no contact since 13th September, she was trying to communicate via facebook then all of a sudden I found out about NC and just ignored her messages, after a couple weeks she blocked and deleted me. She created a new account (with a space in her name), which I stupidity stalked... I know it sounds bad. I'm currently in another relationship, been in it for almost 2 months, I tried to end it last week but she cried and I felt bad and took her back, I'm going to try today when she wakes up as I know it's not fair on her if I still have the slightest of thoughts for my ex. She has never tried to contact me. THIS IS WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST our last contact was generally good, I went over to her house and brought her fish over I filleted freshly she said it was lovely and her cat loved it too. Soon after I just completely ignored her, didn't respond to her facebook messages which were only small messages like "hello" and "heya" which spanned a fortnight apart each.

 

We have no mutual friends, I doubt she really loved me much. She was a virgin when I met her, we had ups and downs and she said she loved me a couple of times but I doubt how sincere it really was for later she said when I asked her out after sex it felt "forced". We did have good times, we talked a LOT before we had sex, hours and hours on end we enjoyed out company a lot. I slept over her house when we first met for days on end as friends. Which leads me to believe we are best compatible merely as friends. She was a absolute jewel of a friend. I miss talking to her more than sex. When the relationship started I became needy and jealous, also didn't train as much and became clumsy, all of which I have fixed a LOT!

 

I don't see her, she lives about 15kms away not far... Not friends on facebook as described why above, i ed up and ignored her for no reason which leads me to believe as a dumpee I should be entitled to reconnect contact as I've emotionally evolved a LOT.

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I think you have other friends. You don't need her in your life.

 

To be honest I really don't have many, by choice. My best friend is travelling down tonight (8 hour drive) for a couple of weeks but besides that when we were together we were our own best friends. That all changed when she got a new job and started hanging out them as friends, soon after our relationship ended.

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To be honest I really don't have many, by choice. My best friend is travelling down tonight (8 hour drive) for a couple of weeks but besides that when we were together we were our own best friends. That all changed when she got a new job and started hanging out them as friends, soon after our relationship ended.

 

Then that's the bigger problem. She could reject your friendship in any real way. What are you gonna do then?

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Dude, you're like a guy on the ledge and everyone's trying to talk you down..... but you're going to keep arguing and rationalizing making this huge mistake.

 

So go ahead and contact her. It WON'T make you feel better. It WON'T bring your relationship back. It WON'T make her love you again. It's only going to make you look weak and needy to her.

 

She might agree to be your friend, but only because it helps her feel less guilty and more secure -- while she looks for her next boyfriend. And the day she DOES start seeing someone new, you can bet your *special friendship* will be out the window, for good.

 

Meanwhile, you're being a total douche to your current girlfriend, imo.

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Twiceborn,

 

I havent done this, this time around, and im not sure i should be recommending this to you, since you seem pretty hung up on your ex. But I may attempt it at some point in the future, as I am more or less at peace with my break up a couple weeks back.

 

I started to reinitiate contact with an ex after a couple months (3 or 4 with 1-2 of NC). this is after she said she would never ever go back out with me. I knew she still had feelings for me, just not that strong. Then I decided to get awesome! One thing that I did was I didnt care what the outcome was. Im not sure how i re-initiated, probably a call, but maybe a text could work too.

 

I wouldnt say you missed her or anything emotional like that. I would probably bring up a good memory (again nothing too emotional) and see how she replies.

 

Dont expect anything though, as this could completely backfire. You only dated for 6 months which isnt long, she broke up with you, deleted you on FB, so it doesnt sound like the odds are in your favour. that said you were her first, so "maybe" that counts as a plus for you.

 

Many here dont recommend you contact her, and I tend to agree. Many other have also broken NC, and 99.9% of them regretted it immediately, so please bear that in mind. IF she wanted you she would have gotten over her pride and called you.

 

If you decide to contact her anyways, I suggest you have a plan, otherwise you're toast.

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Dude, you're like a guy on the ledge and everyone's trying to talk you down..... but you're going to keep arguing and rationalizing making this huge mistake.

 

So go ahead and contact her. It WON'T make you feel better. It WON'T bring your relationship back. It WON'T make her love you again. It's only going to make you look weak and needy to her.

 

She might agree to be your friend, but only because it helps her feel less guilty and more secure -- while she looks for her next boyfriend. And the day she DOES start seeing someone new, you can bet your *special friendship* will be out the window, for good.

 

Meanwhile, you're being a total douche to your current girlfriend, imo.

 

Thanks, I'm not going to contact her, I know a lot of people suffer delusions on here and only hear what they desire, please don't catorigise me as I'm fairly logical, I never had this plan set in stone.

 

I need some advice though, now that I know her "secret" facebook profile she made for whatever reasons (me not to contact her most likely). Let's say if she does monitor my profile because it's set on public how do I go about blocking her without her knowing I know her account. I want to disappear away from her without her knowing I know about her, it will give me the best peace of mind. Just block her, which tells her I know her new account, make my profile private? What's the best method? I'm not sure if shes monitoring my page but there's a chance, I don't want to look like a even more douche now.

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I need some advice though, now that I know her "secret" facebook profile she made for whatever reasons (me not to contact her most likely). Let's say if she does monitor my profile because it's set on public how do I go about blocking her without her knowing I know her account. I want to disappear away from her without her knowing I know about her, it will give me the best peace of mind. Just block her, which tells her I know her new account, make my profile private? What's the best method? I'm not sure if shes monitoring my page but there's a chance, I don't want to look like a even more douche now.

 

Honestly, I wouldn't give a **** about whether she knows you're blocking her or not. She's your EX -- she SHOULD be blocked. I won't advise you on sneaky ways to go about it -- just be a man and do it. WHO CARES what your ex thinks? She probably won't even notice.

 

Douche-wise, you're emotionally cheating on your girlfriend, or just using her as a rebound all along, so I think that ship has already sailed...

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My question to anyone who can help me is this:

 

I found her account she made after she deleted me, only way I could of found that was searching through her friends accounts.

 

I have little willpower when I'm infront of my PC and need to block it ASAP, but if I do this I risk her knowing I found her "secret" profile.

 

Is the best route to just make my profile completely private? Still... Her profile is public. I need to somehow disappear and not see her account again or be easily accessible.

 

Any help would be awesome!

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Honestly, I wouldn't give a **** about whether she knows you're blocking her or not. She's your EX -- she SHOULD be blocked. I won't advise you on sneaky ways to go about it -- just be a man and do it. WHO CARES what your ex thinks? She probably won't even notice.

 

Douche-wise, you're emotionally cheating on your girlfriend, or just using her as a rebound all along, so I think that ship has already sailed...

 

I tell you whats ironic about this all. In my current relationship I feel like I'm my ex and shes me. Rebounds so to speak are supposed to be a method to mask the pain, not resurface it. Regardless, I was pressured SOMEWHAT into the relationship. Either way I cannot blame her, it would be cowardly, I will break it off today and explain the truth to her that clearly I'm not over my ex. Also I do care about my current girlfriends, just not 100% emotionally available to her and she deserves better which she will get and I hope she gets.

 

I just would prefer my ex not to think of me as a complete douchebag, If she knew I blocked a profile I should of never known to exist in the first place.

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You're being a douchebag to your girlfriend, not your ex -- who dumped you and is most likely fine with not being in your life.

 

I hope it comforts you to think you're acting in your rebound girlfriend's "best interests" by dumping her....

 

What's ironic is that you're more concerned about what some skanky old ex who dumped you thinks, rather than the feelings of someone who actually WANTS to be in your life!

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You're being a douchebag to your girlfriend, not your ex -- who dumped you and is most likely fine with not being in your life.

 

I hope it comforts you to think you're acting in your rebound girlfriend's "best interests" by dumping her....

 

What's ironic is that you're more concerned about what some skanky old ex who dumped you thinks, rather than the feelings of someone who actually WANTS to be in your life!

 

Your argument is valid. I still think my ex girlfriends personality is complete for me. I've been told by my ex "you accept love you think you deserve" she said to me to treat her like crap. Perhaps it's true for me also.

 

It's strange, my ex could of been the ugliest piece of crap and I probably would take her back merely for her personality. Regardless I'm going to do what's correct for my current girlfriend today, no need to keep on insulting me.

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