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Need help can someone help me!!!


chris1005

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Kind of long but please read need help!!!!

 

I was with my girlfriend for the first time since 2007 until August 2012. It was a joyride many problems and all and she gave up and call it quits I do remember from September 2012 until December i tried i called I guess once every two weeks and all but i guess looking back i was kind of a Little desperate well in my case I tried to send her a birthday letter thru the mail something unique but none of my efforts would come true. Until I finally left, just to heal in my own way. Thru out those months I came in contact with my girlfriend back then ex – girlfriend. She said to me always” That it was too hard to talk to me and that she wanted me to date other people even if she wanted so bad to be back together she was following her heart. The reason of the break up was constant arguing and a lot of the same routine, I do know that love wasn’t the cause of it because she has always loved me but other things come accross that make a relationship go stale after 5 years. So after December 2012 I said to me: “I’m not getting anywhere like this so I just left quietly”. What did I do to distract myself I ran at the local park, I listened to self audio books, I started to change my wardrobe, I tried to change my appearance but I forgot to learn more about my communication skills.

 

I did change my number back in March 2013. Around that time I gave my old phone to my mom and my mother told me that my ex had call and that she was always thinking about me that was about 7 months after the break up, when my mom told me I just thought hey that’s nice but I never called her just went with my own business. Last May 2013 I send her mom a mother’s day present well a card lovely and I loved it never called just kissed it good bye and send it thru the mail. That was about May 10 or something like that. Well Fast forward June 23 2013 I get a call from my exe’s mom at first I didn’t picked up until 5 minutes later that I called and talked to her and my ex for the first time in close to 10 months. Well I started talking to my ex after that and we got back together again everything was nice, we started doing things that we never had done in the past for the first 2 months it was great, we started going to church, going to restaurants, I was spending time with her mom and that was one of the things that separated us that she said that I didn’t spend time with her family and I was doing that not to impress her but because I was doing things from the heart I thought everything was great. And we broke up again well she broke up with me one day after my birthday she told me that we needed to communicate more and that she thought we were fighting again.

 

The only times I had argued was only for myself and she took it the one way I was telling her that: “I’m not willing to repeat the same mistakes in the past and that I didn’t want to go thru the pain again” But she thought I was arguing because I raised my voice threw the phone I guess she took it the wrong way. Anyway again back to the break up I think is that we have communication problem and one other things last December 2012 and February 2013 her grandmother passed away and her aunt passed away also she has said to me a lot of times that she hasn’t gotten over the fact that they are not here with her, also she had an operation back in August 2013. Anyway we are now broken up again and she did it one day after my birthday. Well as you guess 20 days later I went to her job she agreed to go to lunch with me we kissed a little and she was crying emotional I went this past November 14 again to try to talk to her in her job she agreed to see me in her lunch break and she was emotional I gave her some cd’s that she wanted and wished her a happy birthday because her birthday was on December 1 but I gave her a little birthday present she was crying and she texted that this was a birthday present she would never forget she wrote to me I love you. So as a kind gesture I send her thru the mail a thanksgiving card for her and her mom. She replied: “You didn’t have to do that, god bless you” and I send her a happy thanksgiving message on thanksgiving day but no reply. Her birthday was on December 1 2013 but I never called I think I did the right thing not to bother her anymore I do miss her and she told me back in October that she wanted me to be the father of her kids and all but I guess she is gone for now. We where together for 5 years separated for 10 months got back together and I am truly honestly was making an effort also she as well but I think it was communication. Do you guys think there is a shot for a third chance I know she still loves me and all but is the type of girls that when she is mad she stays mad for a very long time and grieves in her own way, now that holidays are present and her grandmother one year anniversary coming up I would love to call but I should let time do it’s stuff. What should I do, any ideas

 

On how to better my communication?

 

How to stop arguing with an ex?

 

And if it’s a good idea to not communicate with my ex for now just leave her alone for now?

 

Her being again emotional after 2 months since the break up is a sigh that one day we would be back together again?

 

Any ideas advice I would appreciate it as a Christmas gift from all of you guys.

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If ehs is 'not' communicating with you now.. then leave her be. I think she NEEDS some time apart & to think/heal etc.

Be respectful and leave her be. IF she wants to go back to you, she knows your number.

Since you've got no real response since your thanksgiving, i'd leave her be. don't harass her anymore.

 

How to stop arguing with an ex? They are an ex, why is there a need to keep communicating? How about don't talk at all?

Leave her alone for however long SHE wants it. If she wants to be left alone for weeks or months, then you leave it up to her.

 

Her being emotional can mean nothing... we all 'grieve' differently. If she's got too much on her plate and wants to deal with everything on her own, then she has every right. You need to understand, you can NOT solve her problems for her.

 

How to better your communication? YOu can seek some counselling (good for you to be working on YOU at this time as well.. if not for a possible future with her, as least for someone in your future.)

 

YOu can also search online with this problem. If you are neglectful in communicating..shy around females..shy in public or just not that into 'talking' and you know this. Yes, it's good for you to look into improving this.

 

Anyways... give her some distance, as she is wanting, be respectful her way and if she wants to, she can contact you on her own.

 

good luck

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