No one has ever liked me

[akkella7]

Hi,

 

I'm 33 and am feeling really low actually.

I can honestly say no guys have ever really liked me.

all my girlfriends are married or in relationships but me. i have tried almost everything but the guys i meet who like me (RARE) are either on drugs or have something very wrong with them that would prevent us from dating...for example, they are in jail. or they are cheat on me. or are rapists or in a gang. i'm not kidding.

 

i'm a very nice open minded and creative person and don't understand why i continue to have the worst luck in this category. i believe i have a lot to offer.

on top of everything i have a son who i had on my own because no one decent will ever date or stay with me. it was very hard before. now it is almost impossible to date. no one will see past my child to me. i'm losing faith in life.

 

i don't know why i even bother. i have no self esteem left and feel like each day is a burden and embarrasment. i know at this point NO ONE will ever like me. even in elementary school, i was the last one picked. all my friend had guys who liked them but me. this isn't a pity party its just my life.

 

i have no idea what to change about myself. i've tried almost everything. should i just accept the fact i'm completely unlovable? it's so depressing watching everyone else's dreams come true but mine.

[Peachygirl]

Dont feel unloved. Tbh, im 27 and never had a bf mostly by choice. But now i think im ready to give a decent guy a chance. Theres this guy i like but there isnt much between us. Im very attracted to him and i hope we could at least be friends

[Janeiac]

akkella7, the cliche is true, we must love ourselves first. I'm sorry to see you feeling so low, and I do know how it feels. I'm here to tell you it can get better, but not by changing yourself.

You are fine. The only thing that needs to change is you have to believe that.

Along the way, if there are changes you want to make for your own health and happiness, whether it is to lose weight, or gain weight, or get your teeth cleaned, or get some pretty new clothes-- whatever-- if you want to make changes for yourself, because you yourself deserve to have whatever it is then do so. But don't change a thing to get a guy. Whatever you are, there is a guy who loves that kind of thing. There are men who love muscular women, there are men who love chubby, there are men who desire slim-- it doesn't matter. You will met one of those men when you start believing you deserve to.

Think happy thoughts and you will fly

[catfeeder]

Geez, Akkella, you're in danger of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy, which you may be in the process of living out already.

 

The only thing you need to 'change' are your perceptions and your beliefs.

 

Not too difficult, eh? ((jOke))

 

What if you're a late bloomer for a reason? What if you're too unique and fabulous to take the bait that settles for the mediocrity that would have you marrying around the same time as everyone else--and divorcing around the same time as everyone else?

 

What if your unique gifts can only be appreciated by a rare few, not because they aren't 'worthy' of the masses, but because they're too complex to be commonly recognized and understood?

 

What if these gifts need to be honed and focused on raising your child and developing your Self and your creativity and joy until both you and your (as yet unknown) counterpart mature and grow confident and grounded enough to recognize one another?

 

I walked in a park with a GF one day and we saw an elderly couple cuddling on a bench. She said, "Ghaaad, I envy them for all their history together..." and I asked, "How do you know they didn't just meet?"

 

You intend to become old someday, and that will happen with or without a partner. You are shaping your whole future NOW. You can do that with big mental burdens to carry, or you can invest in faith in your unique and rare value and be PROUD of that, instead.

 

Behave as though you've been granted the gifts that the ugly duckling needed to suffer to discover, and decide when your inner swan is due to be recognized--by YOU.

[akkella7]

Thanks Catfeeder. I would like to think there are some people who can appreciate me/my gifts, but this isn't the case.

 

Everyone I know can have a relationship with me. All men dislike me.

 

I am not sure why. I am not overly fat or thin. I am not a supermodel but am not ugly. I try being confident and funbut at the end of the day no one likes me.

 

It doesn't matter what I do or say or wear. Things never change. I haven't been on a real date for four years. I have tried everything. I have even paid someone to help me find a good partner. Part of the problem to men is that I have a son and that scares them away.

 

I guess he will never have a father. It's just my life. I will be single forever.

 

Enjoy your relationships every minute people. Some of us aren't lucky.

[lerenard]

A lot of men will tell you that you can be amazingly beautiful, but if you have no self-confidence - they wont care much. You need to love yourself, you are unique and wonderful from the beginning. Don`t let the fact that you are singe terrorize you and get you all depressed. Some of us may have a significant other, but aren't able to have kids, and so on.

 

You can never be sure that all men dislike you, I doubt it very very strongly. I don't think that you are told each day by every men that you pass by that you are ugly and worthless. YOU tell that to yourself. So stop. Instead, adapt a new mind set. You are a good-looking, mature, smart woman, you are a loving mother, and then all the other good qualities you have. You know you have them!

 

My sister was left by her husband when she was pregnant with their second child. She is now happily married again, to a wonderful man, who also had a child from his previous marriage.