Jump to content

CleoC

Recommended Posts

This week was the worst I've ever had in my life. My ex left me almost 3 months ago and last friday (a week ago), he told me he is seeing someone else.

I just don't understand how silly I was. When we were together he made me feel really loved. He used to treat me like I was the most wonderful thing and now he has moved on so fast...

I have very low self esteem right now. I really don't understand how could I be that blind, or what a good liar he was.

I really want to move on but it's really hard. I wish he never told me that he was with someone else. That was cruel. If he had never told me that, I would be in a better position right now.

He's the most interesting person I've ever met. And I'm really afraid that I would never find someone that attracted me that much.

And I feel so lonely. I have only one friend, I'm very shy. And she wasn't really helpful. My mom is there for me but doesn't know what to do to make me feel better.

I wish I could die right now. I thought that we were so meant to be. He thought that to. I don't understand what happened and this week was a torture.

I want him back. I want what we had back. But I know that I'll never had that again (and it's not the best choice: he was really mean) and I feel so awful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes finding out they are with someone new is kind of like a blessing in disguise. I know you won't see it like that just now but it's final, it kills the hope and will eventually push you forward. I agree it was cruel of him to tell you and it must be painful for you. I'm sorry that you are going through this. You admit yourself he wasn't the best choice, whatever mean things he did to you he will probably do to his new girl too. Just give it time Cleo, you will get better, trust me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He really shouldn't have told you he was seeing someone else. I don't understand that at all. He must just be a jerk.

 

My ex dumped me and he was really mean too. We shouldn't care about them but you do, it's annoying.

 

Don't be too hard on your friend and mum, they aren't perfect they can't solve everything. Just as he was not perfect-however they are more perfect than your ex in that they aren't being jerks.

 

If I found out my ex was seeing someone else I would actually just think "Oh well that will end soon. He'll screw that up". If my ex tried to have a rebound it would definitely fail because it takes him a long time to find someone to have a relationship with-someone who is particularly vulnerable-so if he was looking really fast it's bound to screw up as very few people would stand for his behavior-and very few have.

 

Anyway. He also went off with another woman in his first relationship and went back to his ex so I would actually see that as a way for him to come back-feeling like no one else could handle him-realising this.

 

Anyway...I digress.

 

I'm very sorry about what you're going through but it will get better. Try not to think about it all. Really just try.

 

You know he's too mean anyway. Screw that guy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes finding out they are with someone new is kind of like a blessing in disguise. I know you won't see it like that just now but it's final, it kills the hope and will eventually push you forward. I agree it was cruel of him to tell you and it must be painful for you. I'm sorry that you are going through this. You admit yourself he wasn't the best choice, whatever mean things he did to you he will probably do to his new girl too. Just give it time Cleo, you will get better, trust me.

 

Yes. That is what hurts the most. I thought that if we didn't talk for a while and control our emotions, time would make him regret his decision. I just thought that I had to give him some time. Now it's over. No more hope, no more nothing. And that is what make me feel really sad. Knowing that he won't kiss me or hug me anymore and all the things I lost. It's so sad...

Thank you so much. I hope time helps me to get better because right now everything is so black.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just want to point out you said he was 'almost' the most interesting person you've met, so there are others you will meeet who are just as interesting

 

He is the most interesting. I don't know anyone more interesting. But yes, I hope I'll meet people that interesting someday.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its best not to be in contact with exes as that information can be very painful and really set you back when you might otherwise be much further along in the healing process. At the end of a relationship its common to feel like it was all a lie or that the person didn't "really" care...more often than not, though, the person DID care for you, you DID share good times and feelings either changed or one person realized its not really what they want for the long term. Its not a reflection on you.

Don't speak with him anymore so that you don't need to hear anything else about his personal life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As days pass by I still don't understand why he had to told me that. I have nightmares since then and I feel awful. He knew it would hurt!

I love my mom! she's trying to make me feel better and I'm really thankful!

My friend doesn't ask me how I am or something like that, I feel like she is not really worried. But I'm not hard on her. I love her. It's just I feel lonely and the support would help a lot. That's why I come to this forum, it makes me feel less lonely seeing how people who is dealing with breakups too helps me.

My ex is dating a woman who is 13 years older. I don't think it will last long. I know I was the best girlfriend I could. I wasn't perfect, I'm human. But I know that I was the best I could. I just wish he could see what he lost someday.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its best not to be in contact with exes as that information can be very painful and really set you back when you might otherwise be much further along in the healing process. At the end of a relationship its common to feel like it was all a lie or that the person didn't "really" care...more often than not, though, the person DID care for you, you DID share good times and feelings either changed or one person realized its not really what they want for the long term. Its not a reflection on you.

Don't speak with him anymore so that you don't need to hear anything else about his personal life.

 

I know. I made a mistake when I answered his call. But I won't aswer again if he ever calls. And what you said is exactly what happened: I was feeling so much better and after that call, I feel I had to start again, like he dumped me again.

I know he did care about me. What makes me doubt it is that, even though the 2 or 3 months before leaving me he didn't make much effort to see me, when we were together he was sweet as usual and he said he wanted to marry me, loved me and all that stuff. And that what it was weird. I felt that he didn't care about me because he didn't want to see me very often those last months but when he was with me he treated me with all his love. And when we talked last week he said that he didn't see each other married. I don't blame him, nobody has to be with someone that doesn't want to be anymore. But it breakes my heart because I did want him for the long term. I feel I wasn't good enough for him and that makes me feel very miserable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe he told you to help you stop holding out hope you'll get back together. You said yourself you were kinda waiting for him to come back.

 

Sweetie, I know it takes time now but you guys are only 21. You have a lot of self-learning to do over the next decade. Like I said, I just think he's a young guy who wants to date other women. It's nothing against you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did was waiting for him to come back. But I never tell him that and I wasn't even talking to him.

 

I know we both are 21. I understand your point but I feel sad anyway. I love him very much and I was happy with him. Now, since he left me, I feel like I lost a huge part of my heart. And I know that maybe it was nothing against me but I feel like I wasn't good enough for him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

can you explain why he told you he was seeing someone else? I mean you were broken up for 3 months, were you both in No Contact, or were you still in contact and meeting up ... did you ask him if he was seeing someone else? or did he tell you voluntarily?

 

We were in NC, it was the 27 day without any kind of contact. He called me to tell me he missed me (not in a romantic way) and miss our conversations. And a few minutes later he told me "I'm with someone else now but it's not the same" Then he told me that it wasn't really serious and that she was 34 years old (he is 21). I didn't ask ANY question. He told me every single word voluntarily. He made it clear that he didn't want to get back with me so he wasn't trying to make me jealous or something. That's why I don't understand his intentions.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She means nothing to him, he is filling a void because he is lonely ... but ... I think he misses making you dance to his tune, and all he wants is his ego to be stroked and his self-worth to be validated which you did by chasing him and putting him on such a pedastal ... trust me very clearly when I tell you this .... if and when a man wants to be with you or wants you back, they will move heaven and earth .... throwing you breadcrumbs and voluntary info is to make you jump and dance and chase him like you once did, thus feeding his ego ... his ego and self-worth most likely is not being met by the woman he is spending time with at the moment .... he is young so he needs to learn a very important life lesson ... that he cant mess around with people's feelings, otherwise he will chase away every woman that ever shows him any love... I would suggest you do not fall prey to his bait ... and act as indifferent and impartial as you possibly can ... this gentleman isnt healthy for you from the sounds of it ... hope I have helped a little ...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you very much. Of course you helped.

 

He is having some problems with his family and he is not having very much contact with the few friends he has. I think that the last few months we were together he wasn't very happy with me. He met this woman and this was something new to him so he left me. He told me he met her after the breakup but I don't truly believe that. He was very afraid of being lonely, he wouldn't have left if there was nobody around.

When we first met 3 years ago he was drinking a lot of alcohol and was depressed and he recognizes how much I helped to change that and how happy I made him. When he left me he told me that he wasn't happy and blah blah blah. After begging a lot, I stopped any kind of contact.

He knows how much I love him and as you said, I think is an ego thing. He doesn't have people in his life that loves him like I do and I think he was taking advantage of that. He talked to me again to feel that someone loved him that much and to had someone to feel comfortable with while he could spend his time with this other woman as well. I have come to that conclusion. I feel like I wasn't really important to him if he could get over me that fast after being his first gf and all the things we shared. Thinking that we could be friends that fast is really weird.

I was really hurted because he didn't care for my feelings: he knew that telling me about this woman would hurt a lot. We were in no contact for almost a month and when he called I didn't say anything about getting back or whatever so I found it completely unnecessary to tell me that.

 

I asked him to please not contact me ever again. I won't let him hurt me again. I put my heart and soul in this relationship. I hope in the future I could find someone that wouldn't hurt me that way and wouldn't give up on our relationship that easy.

Sorry if my english is bad. It's my second language.

Thank you very much for reading my story and giving me your advice and point of view.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...