men and women Is child birth very traumatic?

[shelty24]

Oh and thank you to all who responded so far. I was never scared of pregnancy and even less scared now I think I will enjoy the whole experience when it happens in the future

[Seraphim]

No matter how traumatic my son's birth was I would have done it a million times over the second I saw his face. There is no greater love in the universe. The enormity of love that I had for my son the second I saw his face was so huge I couldn't even comprehend it. You won't care about anything. Seeing your child's face in that first second will be the single most precious moment of your life.

[Cheetarah]

I had so many ideas of how my birth would go and it didn't go that way at all.

 

Like star says too, when that baby is ready to come they are coming. And choosing elective sections or inductions prior to 39 weeks is heavily frowned upon and discouraged. There is a huge difference in brain development pre 39 and post. I had an induction which ended in an emergency section at just about 40 weeks, for medical reasons(I had gestational hypertension). my ob wanted to wait as long as I safely could to let baby "cook".

 

You start hearing about women getting impatient at 35, 36 weeks...trying to self induce labor...that's so terrible, honestly.

[Mesemene]

Pregnancy is impossible to describe. It's odd, at first, it's aching boobs and possibly morning sickness. Then you feel that first flutter, like a muscle tic feels except it's not you, inside... and it's completely fascinating and absorbing, because you can FEEL that little person inside you.

 

I loved being pregnant, awkward body, bigger feet, and all.

[itsallgrand]

I haven't had children, but I wanted to say something on a lighter note.

 

I was reading in the trashy newspaper in the entertainment section about Sharon Osbourne and she had been asked which of her surgeries/experiences was the most painful.

She said vaginal tightening was excruciating.

 

Eeks. That is much scarier to me than childbirth! Or what may come from it. lol.

[Tanzi]

I find it really bizarre that anyone can be soo obsessed with being loose after.. i mean our bodies are like machines. They are designed to create, carry and give birth to a child. Then once that process is over, they slowly go back to normal.. sure you may have a few scars but so what.

 

Yes I agree.

 

Of course it does!

 

If she says women who have had children are looser and she can tell, then it stands to reason that it is looser after a baby. And really it is pretty obvious after stretching something like that that it would be if I could tell a difference after sex.

 

If it wasn't looser after then the word "loose" wouldn't exist would it and there wouldn't be entire articles and classes dedicated to women with leaking and incontinence issues after a baby, because their vag was exactly the same ....and birthing a 3rd or 4th baby wouldn't be way quicker and easier

 

Anyway, agree to disagree as I can't be bothered arguing a widely accepted point to save someone's ego....

 

Reflective, we've had this conversation before because, for some reason, it was something that was bothering you. Your conclusions were that the vagina becomes so loose that men don't enjoy sex with their wives anymore and leave them. Everyone, including men, told you that there was no issue with women being looser after birth. I'm sure some (or even most) vaginas aren't the same after birth but they are not significantly looser that it is noticeable.

 

All your arguments are always backed up with what other people have supposedly told you. (I'm talking about this and other issues you have raised before.) Well, those with experience are telling you otherwise here on eNA.

 

So you actually really think the word "loose" was invented for vaginas?!?!?! Goodness me, I don't think I have ever heard anything so ludicrous!

 

Leaking urine CAN be a problem but that is to do with the muscles that support the bladder as opposed to the vagina being loose. It can also be a problem with women who have not had children.

 

Also births don't get easier. We might be able to cope better because we know what to expect but the delivery can be equally as difficult and painful for each subsequent birth you may have. My third birth was actually the worst delivery out of all of my children.

 

So, no, it isn't a widely accepted point and I'm not sure why it should have anything to do with ego. Life would cease to exist if we were all worried about such matters that don't actually exist to any point that they are significant.

[Seraphim]

link removed

[Seraphim]

Yes ,they are not always necessarily easier. My second son who was born at 16 weeks and was only a few ounces still took about 5 hours to birth. And he was only as big as my hand.

 

My first son was about 16 hours or so.

[pippy longstocking]

I haven't had children, but I wanted to say something on a lighter note.

 

I was reading in the trashy newspaper in the entertainment section about Sharon Osbourne and she had been asked which of her surgeries/experiences was the most painful.

She said vaginal tightening was excruciating.

 

Eeks. That is much scarier to me than childbirth! Or what may come from it. lol.

 

oh she never ....omg hahahaha the lengths eh !!

[shelty24]

I dont even want to know what that operation is. Im normally curious and like to research everything but i dont want to know what a designer vagina is im happy having a normal one

[Reflective82]

Yeah itsall grand so there was clearly a need for it! Personally I think every woman should choose what's right for her and CS would definitely be my choice but it's up to the individual

[Reflective82]

Well it is spoken about that 3rd labours are shorter than first actually and my director who has just had her second said he 'fell out'! I just don't want that sensation!! I guess people should just do what is best for them though and you re right it isn't the most important thing

[pippy longstocking]

Well it is spoken about that 3rd labours are shorter than first actually and my director who has just had her second said he 'fell out'! I just don't want that sensation!! I guess people should just do what is best for them though and you re right it isn't the most important thing

 

no baby just falls out ...

 

I do find it interesting that you swear by the stories that back up your theory but seemingly not take any notice of the stories that don't quite fit .

[Tanzi]

Just because her second delivery was easy or easier (which is what she was basically saying - albeit in a flippant manner) it doesn't mean that everyone's will be. My third labour may have been much shorter than the first time around, though it was a little bit longer than the second time around, the delivery was the hardest of all.

[Seraphim]

no baby just falls out ...

 

I do find it interesting that you swear by the stories that back up your theory but seemingly not take any notice of the stories that don't quite fit .

Nope. Never heard of it happening. Trying to pass something about 7 pounds out an opening smaller than the circumference of a straw( the os of the cervix) It is SO NOT happening. Like I said it took me FIVE HOURS to get a 5 ounce baby out of it. So NO baby falls out.

[pippy longstocking]

the more this thread has gone , then more I have realised that reflective , with respect , has got a few serious issues with vaginal tightness .

 

Reflective , you need to realise that you're becoming afraid to an extreme level here for the sake of a man still finding your vagina attractive .

 

I tell ya , if any man told me I had a baggy annie he would be wearing his bollox for earrings.

 

we are amazing ..we grow a baby inside ...I mean wow ...then give birth ...we are fabulous ...

 

 

(ermm sorry annie )

[Seraphim]

the more this thread has gone , then more I have realised that reflective , with respect , has got a few serious issues with vaginal tightness .

 

Reflective , you need to realise that you're becoming afraid to an extreme level here for the sake of a man still finding your vagina attractive .

 

I tell ya , if any man told me I had a baggy annie he would be wearing his bollox for earrings.

 

we are amazing ..we grow a baby inside ...I mean wow ...then give birth ...we are fabulous ...

 

 

(ermm sorry annie )

 

Haha oh babe ! Yeah. Any man told me that he might get a kick in the nuts.

[pippy longstocking]

Haha oh babe ! Yeah. Any man told me that he might get a kick in the nuts.

 

hahaha vic .... that made me chuckle

[Mesemene]

Haha oh babe ! Yeah. Any man told me that he might get a kick in the nuts.

 

Yup - or he'd be exploring his own prostate with his head up his... posterior.

[Lonewing]

...the vagina becomes so loose that men don't enjoy sex with their wives anymore and leave them.

 

The problem is not the vagina; these men would have to be able to touch the vagina in the first place in order to get to that conclusion!!

 

The problem is that the sex life dies, for whatever reason, be it a disagreement that becomes unhealthy, or a partner who is unwilling to have sex anymore [disinterested], or a partner who feels so undesireable that SHE stops putting out, or she puts on weight to the point he's not attracted to her anymore, or he's something she's not attracted to, or her mood changes where he's not attracted to her anymore [she's like having sex with a honey badger] or any number of issues that come between couples and prevent them from having sex in the first place.

 

Notice how the vagina itself is on the sidelines here. Heck, so is the penis, I bet they'd both be more than happy to get a room together and leave the egos hashing it out on the field, but alas, they're stuck waiting for them to figure it out...

 

The vagina itself is really the last problem on the list, and that is only a problem if it's too tight - you may be able to deal with soreness now, but another ten or twenty years and you may decide you're done being sore and it's not worth it, or it's sore to the point that sex itself is unbearable.

 

Have faith.

[Lonewing]

I dont even want to know what that operation is. Im normally curious and like to research everything but i dont want to know what a designer vagina is im happy having a normal one

 

It's where the doctor cuts out a slice of your vagina and then resews it to a circumference that is "more perfect." At least, that's my understanding of it. Now that I remember this, my first ex's aunt had a designer vagina as she said, it was done because she once had a rupture where the wall between the vagina and the rectum perforated. When she had it fixed, the doctor told her that he could essentially make it any size she wanted it to be, and seeing how her husband was well endowed to the point where it hurt, she took a cast of her husband's penis to her doctor and he made it to that specification. I'll take her at her word on all of this, some people and their TMIs, but you learn ALL SORTS OF THINGS!!!!!

[Lonewing]

no baby just falls out ...

 

I do find it interesting that you swear by the stories that back up your theory but seemingly not take any notice of the stories that don't quite fit .

 

Well, if everything is working well, sometimes they do just "fall out." We hear of them, the ten minute and one minute deliveries or the "had it in the car on the way to the hospital..." And really, that's the absolutely best way it can happen, for anyone!!

 

It's not a loose vagina that makes this happen, it's a strong vagina!!

[Tanzi]

I quite agree. Marriages break up for many reasons ... and not all relating to sex.

 

Your post (or rather the part of my post you have quoted) makes it look as though they were my words. That was actually Reflective's point of view that I disagreed with.

 

I would just like to point out that this is not my point of view.

 

I don't think I know of any man who has left his wife because she has a "loose" vagina.

[Tanzi]

I tell ya , if any man told me I had a baggy annie he would be wearing his bollox for earrings.

 

we are amazing ..we grow a baby inside ...I mean wow ...then give birth ...we are fabulous ...

 

A baggie annie lol!

[ParisPaulette]

Curiosity got the better of me (again) so I went looking at information on designer Vs. What I found made me want to vomit, frankly. I mean, if there is an actual physical problem and surgery will fix it then great, let's do it. Sign me up doctor, I'm there. But this is so beyond the pale it crosses into territory I don't even recognize. At the same time I happened accross the fun little facts about women in other countries being forced to have their female parts "altered" so they will stay faithful, stay tight, and be "good" wives. Where they can those women have fled their families and yes even their countries for safer shores including here.

 

So let me get this straight, women in this country actually pay to get their vajajay's altered, because of ridiculous superstitions (aka loose vagina syndrome) while women from certain other countries flee here in order to not have their female bits altered, because of ridiculous superstitions? We are so (bleeped) as a culture.