the roommate thing

[wonderalnd]

Basically I never had a roommate and been here only a few months with a friend. Every time lately I been coming home she asks what I been up to and turns my night into something negative.

 

I noticed her knack of bringing random guys home and I'm going on holiday for a month... so I put a key lock on my door. I checked with the landlord yet she decides to say it's illegal from google. I tell her it's not her, I just don't feel comfortable if she were to bring anyone here I didn't trust.

 

I hate that our friendship is getting ruined here but I'm losing it. Rent in this city has gone crazy! My last apartment $900... rent has raised $200-$300 at most places... it's really a you are moving last minute to get a great deal.

 

Yes, I'll give her the 30 day standard notice but I feel as I can't tell her I'm looking because it may cause tension and she may want me to move out sooner or give her a longer time to find a roommate? I don't know?

 

My dilemma? I can't tell her I been looking because it can take 2-10 months to be sitting and waiting for something reasonable to pop up.

 

I just know I need to deal with this but how do you deal with someone constantly putting you down but not wanting to start an argument over it and just trying to drop it?

[Kendahke]

Are you talking about telling the landlord that you're moving or your roommate? I don't know which of the two you're talking about.

 

Who said it was illegal to put the lock on the door--the landlord or the roommate?

[Fudgie]

If your landlord was okay with it, then screw your roommate. It doesn't matter what she thinks about you do with your own room. If she has a problem with you locking it, it means that she probably is a thief herself. She has no reason to go in there.

 

And yeah, start looking but don't tell her. No need to make it harder for yourself. Then give your standard 30 days notice when you find a new place. You don't owe her anything else.

[annie24]

Wow, why does she want to be in your room so badly while you are gone??

[ParisPaulette]

You tell them calmly, "Pleaes don't ruin my day with your negativity." And then you walk away and go to your room. Act as if nothing has happened and don't be anything, but nice on everything except that. Don't argue, don't yell, just a calm "Don't do that" so to speak. She's gotten into a very bad habit and you've let her, so tell her to stop. Also bringing strange guys over would weird the heck out of me, I had a roommate like that once and I got out fast. I didn't care that she was upset when I told her I was moving in with someone else. I told her bluntly, "You bring strange guys home and I don't feel safe in my own place." I didn't really care that the friendship was pretty much over at that point, I was so creeped out by it all that I couldn't get out fast enough. And a lock on the bedroom door isn't illegal, she's not the landlord and if they gave you permission it's fine because the landlord is the one who has the say.

 

Keep the lock on or come home to find her with some strange guy doing it in your room. I had that happen, so gross.

[KarenC]

I've never heard of it being against the law to put a lock on your very own personal bedroom door...Well, atleast not here in America!!!

 

I would move out and look for another roommate because her actions are for the birds.

 

Also, you should just stop talking to her all together...Just smile, speak, and head to your room!

[Snny]

I've never heard of it being against the law to put a lock on your very own personal bedroom door...Well, atleast not here in America!!!

If you are renting property from somebody and change locks, it does become a legal issue. The landlord will find it suspicious (hiding something illegal). They have every right to access your apartment/condo/etc. as it is stated on renters contracts. Back in my old apartment it was grounds for eviction if you added or change locks.

 

Yes this was in Southern US.

[mhowe]

However, the landlord said it was ok.

 

I would lock your bedroom door everyday going forward.

[annie24]

I bet the roommate said one of her friends can stay in the room while you are on break and she doesn't want you to lock the door.