Am I taking things too personal?

[photograph11]

Hello,

 

My parents have noticed that I tend to take things too personal sometimes. For instance, the other night I decided to change my hair so I showed my mom she thought it was nice, but that I had too much hair separated on one side so she fixed it and then said the separation before wasn't nice, but that now she finds it nicer after fixing the seperation. Somehow I took it personal. Am I taking things too personal? I appreciate that she wants me to look my best but maybe sometimes I take things too personal?

[junebug123]

It is personal she is criticizing you about the way you appear and commenting on your skills in dying your own hair. Mom's just doing what moms do, sometimes we have to be the better person and just bite our tongue that's all.

[Celadon]

It's hard to tell exactly how you reacted. Did you pout or yell, or did you just feel disappointed?

 

I get why you felt bothered. Because your mom changed what you'd done without asking or suggesting nicely. It's YOUR hair, so she needs to learn to let you make your own decisions.

 

One lesson in growing up is that you need to speak up for what you want. And learn to do it nicely. In this case, your mom didn't mean harm but you are getting older and have the right to expect her to mother you less and respect your choices.

 

When this happens next just say Hey Mom I appreciate your trying to help but I like it this way and am just asking for your support, okay? And then smile at her.

[photograph11]

Thanks for the replies.

 

I am I'm in my early twenties and realizing less and less to ask for their opinion or take it everytime.

 

It's because she had cut my bangs before I dyed it blond. She liked the dye and everything, it's just the way I had dried it, she was trying to fix the bangs. I did though ask her about my bangs, so it's not like she did it without me asking. I just told her after that she didn't have the say it that way "that it's not nice in that seperation" , but then she just said she just thinks its nicer separated that way, and that she just want to give me helpful advice sometimes. I don't know maybe its a mix of both me and my mom, it's just that sometimes I shouldn't ask her anymore what she thinks, or maybe I'm taking things too personal? Like the other day I came back from the gym, and I usually wear this bra ( but it's falling apart lol) only for the gym, I wash it everytime it's just so comfortable. And then she told me that my bra is falling apart and it's going grey that I should wear the new one she bought me. I took that personal and got mad. So I don't know maybe it's me or them.

[junebug123]

If you are twenty and your mom is still getting on your case then either its time to move out or time to relax and realize that she doesn't have any bad intentions, she's just trying to protect you from the world outside.

[Capricorn3]

To be honest, yes, I do see it as you taking things way too personally - definitely overreacting to really minor comments (imo). If I saw my daughter wearing a grey looking and falling apart bra I would probably have said the exact same thing, lol. I don't see anything awful in anything your mom said which would/could make you react that way, but maybe that's just me.

[Kendahke]

Better your mom tells you than for your peers to laugh and sneer at you behind your back.

 

Your mom always has your back and she has far more years of experience of the cruelty which awaits a sensitive person such as yourself out in the world. Be glad she cared enough to say something. Some young people dont' have that.

[Limiya]

She's just being a mom. Having your best interests at heart. She has good intentions when she says these things. She thinks she's helping you.

Before you get mad, take some deep breaths and truly think about what it is she said that's so hurtful. If you can't find a real legitimate reason then you're probably just feeling overly sensitive.

I'm 30 years old now and when i visit my mom she still tells me thinks and makes comments now and then in order to help. I take it with a pinch of salt and humour her. But i won't get mad, she's just being mom.

 

Good luck